Sometimes I Am Ashamed

by Dutchie 205 Replies latest jw friends

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  SEAKEN2001

  Many fine expressions here. I enjoy this kind of thread because it encourages us to actually think.

  I do not agree with the sentiment of many here who think we have to put on a clean dress to impress the visiting dubs who may be lurking. I think that just uses the dress before it's needed. Save the clean dress for when it counts. (like when you're trying to impress your in-laws, LOL!) The WTS has clearly vilified the entire Internet and any JW lurkers here have already seen fit to test the waters on their own. If they are looking for answers to thier doctrinal questions or trying to come to grips with their disallusion there are plenty of places on the net for every personality type. There is a limit to how much I will contort myself just to please a very insecure dub who hasn't even dared to question their own honesty. Sure, some folks will get offended here and run to safer ground. That doesn't mean we are all now responsible for turning that fraidy cat back to mommy. They made that decision. If they are really looking to get out from under their mommy they will find a way that works for them. I think it's rediculous to expect everyone here to behave like a nice clean-cut and well-pressed gentelman or lady as if we were all at a big Dictrict Convention again. That's not the real world!

  I liked Introspection's comments about acting. Does anyone here really go around as if no one is watching? No. We all put on an act and adjust to the crowd. But everyone is different and some will see how far they can go and stretch the bounderies and then react to how the audience responds. Well, I find it a hell of a lot more interesting out here in the real world than I did in the borg where everyone is playing to the same audience, the GB. Out here people all play to a different audience and the variety is astounding and refreshing. That's a lesson XJW's need to learn and this place will go a long way toward helping them do that if we all continue to allow freedom of expression and react in a balanced and encouraging manner. I think for the most part we are doing that. Some people thought we were getting a little out of hand and the group is now adjusting. We are our own audience in this respect I guess. Whether we are playing to many lurking dubs is always open to debate but I suspect that the results are far better as we are now than it would be if we were to restrict the more daring performances.

  Sean
• 

  Pierced Angel

  Hey Naebs, good point.

  Once, when I was about 14-15 my sister, cousin and I were sitting next to the fence to a neighbor and were talking about boys we liked, what we liked about them, talking about our "crushes". Nothing too explicit, but girl talk you know. What we didn't know was that the old guy next door was working on his flowers and overheard us. HE popped his head over the fence and said directly to me "if you were my daughter and I heard you talking about boys like that I'd spank your bare butt till it was as red as your shirt". I felt embarrassed, but also at the same time I realized he seemed excited by the idea. Turns out we found out years later he was molesting his granddaughter, btw. PIG

  I just want to say that I understand this maybe isn' t appropriate here (at least not for so long), but it was FUN. And, there weren't any pictures that I'd be embarrassed to show my JW mom, so why would I worry about curious internet surfing dubs seeing them and thinking we're all worldly and wicked?

  heehee, couldn't resist.

  Edited by - pierced angel on 16 June 2002 12:55:50

  Edited by - pierced angel on 16 June 2002 12:57:10

  Edited by - pierced angel on 16 June 2002 13:4:58
• 

  teejay

  Hey larc, Do you really think this forum drives honest people away?I don`t think so bud.It may initially but I think if your an honest person you will see people speaking from their heart.That is priceless.Eventually people who can handle the truth will come back.That is the gift of this board,and you are part of it -- OUTLAW

  Yes I do believe it drives people away. It drove Maximus away and it nearly drove Hillary away early on. Barbara Anderson will not post here because of how she was treated in an email sent through Maximus. -- Larc

  Larc,

  We remember when Max left (and still feel the great loss of his posts); how Hilary left temporarily; Barb; probably many others, but that was a different time and the board has taken on a lighter, much more friendly atmosphere since The Departure. I know you agree with me on this. True, there's a lot more posters posting now (It's a good thing. -- Martha Stewart) and differences still crop up now and then, but the vile and callousness that pervaded JW.com before is a thing of the past.

  Yeah, the emotional psyches of people differ. Some are more thick-skinned than others and some can't tolerate some of the rough-and-tumble of JW.com, but you can't please everybody. Questioning JWs who stumble into (or search for) our cyberworld are going to have to grow up ONE day, so it might as well start here.

  And as it's been said already, there are priceless gems here for sincere truth seekers, particularly in the archives. It might take a little digging, but they're there. Authentic truth seekers will take the time to find them, or at least ask where they are.

  >> I don't care for the attitude - well I got through the emotional turmoil, but I have no obligation to help my poor brother or sister who is suffering.

  I agree.

  We have an obligation to show empathy, but obligations to others is a two-sided coin. Those who may be more sensitive (prudish?) should accept *their* obligation to grow up or at least realize that others may not share their perspectives. If they are weak (or thin-skinned), they should quickly accept the fact that not all are.
• 

  concerned mama

  Dutchie, I agree with you. Maybe I am a never JW, fairly conservative middle aged mother but so be it, I am. I am entitled to my opinion too.

  Dutchie, should you have time and inclination, please e mail me and we can chat about a hobby our daughters share (modelling). Thanks.

  concerned mama
• 

  omiecoop

  Hi everyone, this is my very first post! I have been visiting the site for a few weeks now since discovering it through a search engine. I am not a JW but have been close to a lot of people in my life who were JWs and Mormons, and have always been fascinated by the strange hold these two organizations can have on people, and have studied both of these groups for a long time.

  To give you an outsider's view of finding the picture thread on the site:

  I visited the site the first time because it randomly came up on a search. I visited the second time because of the variety of information on the site. I spent one whole afternoon going through the humor section! I thoroughly enjoy the discussions on different JW topics, but also realize that when people get together they like to talk about different things. It did not turn me away because there were OTHER issues going on. If it had been an issue of other topics taking the place of JW discussions, I could see where it might turn someone away.

  Every area is well labeled and organized and not easy to accidentally stumble into something you don't want to be a part of. The bottom line is that "simon" whom I assume is in charge, said no and that is the final answer. While I believe in being able to feel free to express one's self, I am also glad that SOMEONE is there watching to keep things down if they get too rowdy.

  Thanks to all of you who's posts that I have read and enjoyed. I have laughed with you and cried with you without even knowing who you are. I, for one, want to thank you for exposing your tender areas to the possibility of attack. You are all brave and deserve kudos from all the people out here lurking around.

  I don't suppose I will be extremely active in posting, but even if I never post again--rest assured that I am out here listening and watching and sharing your feelings both good and bad. Thanks for teaching me much.---Omie
• 

  Naeblis

  Thank you Omie. Nice to see you here. Just another in a long line up of peopel repulsed and turned away by our spurious boob and tit threads *sarcasm* Anyways, hope to see your around Omie.
• 

  LDH

  TAP TAP TAP

  MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE!

  Thank you good people. I have a few observations, that no one may be particularly interested in, but I will say them anyway.

  I did read the whole thread in about 5 minutes, thank God I read quickly.....because otherwise I woulda skipped over some good stuff.

  FIRST OFF: Naebs I am LMAO at you, that Hillary baited you into coming back into this thread to participate when you stated you wouldn't be back--which is the exact same thing you advised Dutchie to do---just "stop looking at those threads."

  It's not as easy as it looks, is it?

  Could that, perhaps, be the same thing that happened to Dutchie?

  In other words, consider that whole thread to be a tragic car accident. You'd rather not look as you drive by, but you can't help yourself.

  Dutchie, just like you and I, are growing and learning and changing every day. And, regardless of what those dumbass JWs told you, personal growth is necessary but DAMN IS IT A BITCH.

  It is a slow and painful process.

  Can we not allow people to grow at their own pace? It is OK for Dutchie to feel ashamed at that thread....that's where *SHE* is---just like you are who you are.

  I posted one modest pic of some cleavage, a pic of me in my wedding dress. I didn't feel like going farther, as a matter of fact I threw in a humorous pic of me and hubby's hands as a contest. Xander got it right, BTW.

  Hillary is correct in telling you that who you are today is not who you will be in a year....and you may look back at how you defended your actions with embarrassment.

  *NOT* that defending your actions is wrong, but you will learn to make room for others emotions and limitations, the same way they do with yours, that's all.

  Love to yas all and a happy Father's Day.

  Lisa
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  Naeblis

  I think I had actually posted again before that ldh :) Only one difference though, I wasn't mortally offended by this thread as some people were of the pic thread. To say something is morally bereft and than contineu to view it over and over again is a bit different from me pretending to leave on a high ground and slinking back :D
• 

  LDH

  Ahhh....I love ya, you slinker you!

  Perhaps Dutchie wasn't trying to take morally high ground, but perhaps your biblically trained conscience got the better of you, as you felt a little guilty?

  Methinks the man doth protest too much.

  Lisa
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  Naeblis

  It's true... I loved looking at the boobies yet... hate myself for it too. I think I'm going through one of those "changes" Hillary was talking about. Puberty is such a hard time.. so many.. feelings...so hard to...walk upright..

  Edited by - Naeblis on 16 June 2002 14:53:51