by Pubsinger 42 Replies latest jw friends
A bit of a follow on from the "honesty" thread.
Another claim that JWs make is that they have stronger marriages and are less likely to divorce.
Try writing down all the JW couples that you know of that have divorced.
There are bonus points for those who didnt make 2yrs!
I think you will be shocked at the number you can come up with. We came up with 60 couples in less than 20mins.
Dear Pub, Allow me to introduce myself. I am HomebutHiding. My JW husband and I divorced, after a 22 year marriage just 2 years ago. There, so now you know of 61 divorced couples!
JW's for years claimed that
"divorce was rare / unheard of"
I got married in Liverpool 19 years ago and the following is a fact
The marriage before us - he was made an Elder - Divorce - his infidelity
The one before that Divorce - He was made a MS - but divorced re his unresonable behavior because of money worries - (because he could not remarry he spent the night with another women just to get the divorce on scriptual reasons) - now happily married
The marriage after us - still together, but terribly unhappy, rows like yu have never heard
The one after that - Both pioneering till last year when she ran off with another girl
And mine - well we have "issues"
Most couples are together because the truth is the only thing in common.Couples burn out because of 5 meetings a week, bible study, field service etc. They stay because of family, friends, social standing
Most are dreadfully unhappy
Jim
Jim, "Most couples are together becasue the truth is the only thing in common." Amen. that was the truth in my case. I never would have met nor married him, were it not for the "truth". I definitely stayed in the marriage for 22 years because divorce would have brought reproach on Jehovah's name and org. And what of the years of abuse? Did they not bring reproach? Ah well, moot at this point. Have left both him, and the org. In earlier years, I knew of fewer divorces. The divorce rate among JWs seems to have sped up in recent years, and I know a couple of dozen cases.
I can think of 9 in about 30 seconds
People used to tell me that they wished when they got married to have a marriage "just like mine" I worked hard to make sure no one knew how bad and abusive our marriage was. Nice and polished on the outside but full of dead man's bones on the inside. Our marriage was over after two weeks but I stayed for fiftenn years because I was told that to leave would mean I would die at armaggedon. I did leave once for about 3 days before around the 3 year mark but went back becuase everyone convinced me that I hadn't tried hard enough and it was my problem not his.
HomebutHiding...I can relate to your comments. I was divorced after 14 yrs of marriage...married to an elder came with some complex issues...and staying together for the sake of the truth, even though unhappy, is the case with many couples who eventually burn out from trying for too long. My exit out of the truth and marriage occurred at the same time. To me it was like a devastating event....an end of an error. I had no idea it was the beginning of new things to come...better things.
Interesting thoughts pubsinger, and you can add me to your list.
Beck
lady lee every time you mention your unhappy marriage-I feel guilty- I was one of thse who looked on in awe!!
Poor Sue was going through the same as you were & I knew nothing about it. Bragging to all in the world about our "happy Jehovahs Witnesses marriages" Oh the gift that God had give us to see ourselves as others see us.We all would have relized we were leading hypocrite live in the name of God. Doesnt it say somewhere "to thine own self be true""""
I am so glad & happy to finally relize JWs have as much heartache as anyone else-the only thing we now know is -we dont have to cover over to protect the BORG.
I love you sweetie......
Grace you have nothing to feel guilty about. I only let you and others see what I wanted you to see. The same goes for Sue. I do blame my mother. She arranged it and forbid me to leave. She made sure I thought I had no where to go. I told her what it was like and she did nothing - as usual.
And Grace... Sue and I have survived. We have both met and married great men. Our lives are good. And that is what really counts. Wish my mom was more like you. Think I now know why she didn't like you. You have a heart and she doesn't (((grace)))
Ironically, my husband heard from a friend just yesterday and he mentioned two JW couples we knew who are going through divorce.
I don't think the divorce rate is any lower among JW's and even if it is, I am sure that the number of happy marriages are lower than the norm. I have seen first hand more unhappy than happy JW marriages, but some stay together longer for the "truth".
Very sad!
After 4 1/2 years of marriage my JW husband and I got a divorce. Add another one to the pile....
His mother was especially upset b/c she said that whenever she and her husband had problems they couldn't just split up. She was obviously upset because it wasn't "allowed" by the WTS.
