Any Funny Virgin Honeymoon stories?

Perfection Seeker

Anyone have any funny virgin honeymoon stories? None here- but my brother & his wife- both GOOD WITNESSES got married- didn't get to complete the act for 6 weeks- his wife had no idea he was so big- and kept crying & was afraid. Just another "well educated" witness girl. Do you think they PURPOSELY keep everyone stupid?

Elders_Kid

Do you think they PURPOSELY keep everyone stupid?

Yes.

Sorry, being the good elders son that I was, I lost my verginity 7 years before I got married. oops.

EK

edited to adjust formatting

Edited by - elders_kid on 28 June 2002 0:13:39

Perfection Seeker

Elders kid- thats quite a title to live up to, isn't it? 7 years before you got married- did you get caught? I moved in with my husband 1 year before we got married, but were only roomates :-) (HA HA) That story didn't last long- then I was DISSED. I did marry him though, does that help? :-)

Elders_Kid

Perfection- Yup, I'm just trying to be the best little dub that I can be!!!

I actually lost my virginity after I got D/F. Don't really know what I waited for, but I did marry the girl I lost it too. Actually we lost it together.

EK

Mary

Well, I'm not married, (still a virgin........hahahaha.......some guy's in for a big surprise one day when I finally get up the nerve to go have sex) so this isn't one about me, but all my friends got married real young (17 or 18) and here are some quotes they gave me about their wedding night sex......:

"You're never doing that to me again"

"I think we need to take lessons"

"Like a stick being shoved up you." (the answer I got to: what does it feel like?)

"Quit screaming, will ya?!"

"We got married for that?"

"He wanted to have oral sex, but my conscience wouldn't let him"

ashitaka

Mary,

That is some depressing shit. Sounds like many a JW marriage.

ash

Solace

Im not worthy of posting on this thread.....

But I can still count all my partners on one hand and not include my thumb or pinky!!

Funny stories,,, Hmmm let me think.....................

Well, my J.W. cousin had apparently let her then husband assume that HE was her first without informing me. I knew better by the way. We were out to dinner with them. Her and I were talking about old times and heres me, (jabbering away).. I couldnt understand why she kept kicking me under the table. FUNNY.. Guess she had some splainnen to do huh?....

Edited by - heaven on 29 June 2002 14:40:23

yrs2long

It's a small thing, but no one, including my very liberal mother, told me that the stuff comes back out. When you watch movies, soap operas or whatever, they just lie there, so I assumed it was really thick or was absorbed or something.

It took a whole month for the pain to go away. I remember telling my doctor, "why are people so gaga over sex?" She laughed and assured me 'it gets much better, honey.' The act seemed to be interminable until one day, as I tensed up for the usual painful entry, there was....nothing. That's when I discovered my ex didn't last nearly as long as I'd thought.

SixofNine

The psychology behind the pain is facinating. These aren't funny stories, but they are JW stories.

LB

Well no virgins on my shift but I do recall what one young witness lad said to me before his wedding. He said my son was kind of stupid to go to Maui for 10 days because all they would do is have sex 24/7. He was just going to go to a local motel. I told him that I hated to bust his bubble but it wasn't likely he would be capable of having sex 24/7. He looked shocked like I was some kind of idiot.

My son wasn't a virgin but his wife was. Or so they say and I believe them on this point. She thought it was also going to be a 24/7 type of thing. In fact they were scheduled to leave for Maui the next day and thought she wouldn't be capable of waking up before noon so they took an afternoon flight.

She was up by 9 for breakfast in bed.

Any Funny Virgin Honeymoon stories?

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