Time #1 - Aww That Hurts! (Silently to myself, of course)
Time#2 - Man, This is Good S&*T! Hurry Up - I want to go again!
Any Funny Virgin Honeymoon stories?
by Perfection Seeker 33 Replies latest social relationships
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eyegirl
not married, but i remember my first time. wasn't quite what i thought it was going to be. i remember thinking "this is what it's all about??!??!" and i asked him "we're done already??" it was like under a minute, i swear. and i cried for about 10.
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Imbue
I can't contribute anything personal to this thread!
Heaven: ahem ...How does the topic of your cousins old lover come up at dinner with her husband present?
Did you want to tell him for her? I was just wondering how such a subject could come up at dinner.
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Incense_and_Peppermints
not humorous, just normal boring stuff, like it hurt and no one told me that you would bleed from your hymen being punctured. it was scary, but liberating. i thought is that all there is to it? it didn't seem like much fun. the first time. but i had married a very nice (and older) wordly man who taught me all kinds of interesting things, and soon i discovered just how thrilling and exciting it could be, once the psychological barriers were torn down.
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MarchOn
Well, I got the "talk" from my Mother on my wedding day. She went on and on about everything and even informed me that if my husband had to much to drink, he would probably not be able to perform. I was very surprised at this because he never had a problem with not being able to perform when he was drinking. Poor Mom sooooo naive.
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Incense_and_Peppermints
mmm... i know what you mean. that doesn't have any affect. this sounds funny, but tasting alcohol on your lover's tongue is, well, intoxicating. (and i don't even drink!)
anyway, your mom was nice to give you 'the talk'. mine couldn't bear to even mention anything remotely sexual...
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Max Divergent
We had a bit of the ole' 'mutual masterbation' going for a while, and that was much better than the early times we did 'the real thing' after the wedding; that was nowhere near as good as the furtive groping in the car (when parked), or one of us, umm, 'servicing' the other (while driving)... (Still miss that:-)
Funnier thing... older Sis in the Congo 'confided' in my wife that her daughter phoned her from their overseas honeymoon becuase they couldn't figure out how to do it... maybe they were joking (v.sick joke)????
Enjoy, Max
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dmouse
Some JWs have a fairly normal sex life even before they are married, in secret of course.
However, many live in the twilight world of JW Victorian sensibilities. My wife was one such person. On our wedding night, we were both virgins, I was shocked to find that my 26 year old bride didn't know what an erection was, she just didn't know that the penis changed size etc. Mind you, I was so shy that I got into bed with my underpants on and took them off under the covers. My wife was so tense that we couldn't do it for three days or four days. All of the suppression of sexual desire that we had engaged in all our adult lives took a long time to recover from. Just another way that the WBTS damages people psychologically. My wife never really did relax, never really stopped seeing sex as 'dirty'. I tried my hardest, spending hours pampering, touching, stimulating (I can last a lot longer than two minutes) but to no avail. In the end I just gave up. Now, at the age of 41, I am resigned to never having sex again because I can't make love to a woman that can't enjoy the act - the main reason for sex, in my opinion, is the sharing of pleasure, it should never be one-sided; and without that sharing there is no point to it.
Sorry this isn't very funny.
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Incense_and_Peppermints
I tried my hardest, spending hours pampering, touching, stimulating (I can last a lot longer than two minutes) but to no avail.
oh reely.... (just kidding)
In the end I just gave up. Now, at the age of 41, I am resigned to never having sex again because I can't make love to a woman that can't enjoy the act - the main reason for sex, in my opinion, is the sharing of pleasure, it should never be one-sided; and without that sharing there is no point to it.
oh, don't give up. anyone with your philosophy shouldn't give up. don't let one bad experience destroy your ardor. 41 is way too young to resign yourself to never again experiencing the joys of sexual pleasure and true intimacy. not all women are like that, you know.
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Carmel
On my honeymoon my wife and I had a great evening doing what "cums naturally" then off to sleepy-by. About 2:00 I woke up with my arms asleep, ( I worked in a lumber mill and my arms were stretched from pulling heavy lumber from the green chain all day). I sat up in bed and shook my hands and arms then went back to sleep. The second time, she woke up too and asked if I was okay, the third time she got up and got a drink, the forth time she said something to the effect "do I have to go through every night like this"? It was rather traumatic for her thinking she had married this guy that sets up in bed every two hours and shakes! Thank God I got a different job at the mill so the numbness went away!
carm