Hi PerfectionSeeker,
You bring up some interesting questions. JanH's comments reflect mine very well, but I'll add my two cents.
On the question of "Jehovah bashing":
Most people on this board are not bashing a real live "Jehovah God", but a variety of concepts that have the label "Jehovah". The JWs' concept of "Jehovah" is supposedly one that is the embodiment of love, but as we all know, that's just nonsense. The JW notion is really one of a hard-nosed war God that cares nothing for his intelligent creatures and slaughters them wholesale for things they are usually not responsible for. So it's really the nonsensical and terrible JW concept that is often being bashed.
Of the above "Jehovah bashers", some actually believe in the God of the Bible and some don't. The believers have a rather different concept in their own minds from the JWs, but the biblical concept is essentially not all that different from the JW concept -- if you believe the Old Testament stories -- and so these believers really have basically the same terrible concept of God that the JWs do.
Of those who don't believe in the God of the Bible, I see two categories -- those who believe in some other kind of God or supreme being, and those who don't. Those in the first category don't bash a real "Jehovah", but the nonsensical concept described above. Those in the second category tend to bash the concepts of "God" and "supreme being" in general, so the God of the Bible is not singled out.
Of those who don't believe in a supreme being, I see two categories -- atheists and agnostics. I think of an atheist as someone who believes that there is no such thing as a supreme being, and an agnostic as someone who neither believes nor disbelieves in such a being. Of course, one could split hairs endlessly over precise definitions and beliefs, but I don't want to get into that.
Personally, I count myself as an agnostic atheist because I believe that there is no such thing as "the God of the Bible", and I nearly believe that there is no supreme being at all, but because I cannot prove the latter, I cannot justify not leaving some mental room open for the possibility of a supreme being, or of some powerful entities that for all practical purposes are supreme beings.
I was raised a JW and so I know the full range of reasons they and Christians in general like to believe in a God, and I know the reasons they set forth as "proofs" of the existence of this God. I have done a good deal of research into these things and I can prove that nearly all of these reasons are bunk. As you yourself admit, you and others have an emotional NEED to believe, and so you give in to it.
When you pray, you set in motion complex mental processes that allow you to solve problems unconsciously. These processes can be turned on by means other than prayer. For example, I once purchased a sort of self-help book that described precisely how the author would set his mind on a problem, psych himself up to solve the problem unconsciously, and then forget about it. After awhile, his mind would usually come up with some kind of solution. This was certainly not prayer, but it had exactly the same results you describe.
For many on this board, prayer has never had any demonstrable results. During the time I was searching for answers about my journey out of the JWs and looking for the "real" God, I "threw my burdens on Jehovah" through prayer. I got zero response. Same goes for others on this board. Why beat a dead horse? We had it demonstrated to ourselves that, despite the sincerest of motives, if a God exists, he wanted nothing to do with us. So we returned the favor. Obviously these experiences call into question the very existence of a God, since zero response could be due to an unresponsive God -- which Christians deny God is -- or to the fact that no God exists.
Indeed, why not pray to Odin with the same fervor you do to the Christian God? If you want to believe hard enough, surely Odin will answer you.
Many who leave the JWs jump right into another cultish group. Personally, I count a goodly fraction of Fundamentalist types as cultish, since they're not much different in spirit from the JWs. Others join all sorts of more mainstream religions, or get into the more way-out sorts of groups. However, a goodly fraction begins to question the very foundations of religious belief. Most of the time it turns out that such questioning, done objectively, leads to agnosticism or atheism. That's because objectively, there is no real evidence that a supreme being exists. Note that "gut feel" is not real evidence.
Once one throws off the shackles of an emotional need to believe in some higher power, one is open to looking at all sorts of evidence. One actually becomes hungry for knowledge. One finds that what one once thought of as a hunger for knowledge was really nothing more than a narrow desire to justify one's emotional belief in God.
I've seen this happen time and time again: a person quits the JWs and begins searching for answers outside the religion. This leads to an ever-widening search, and if the person has an open mind he or she begins to realize how narrow the straits of religious belief were. Gradually they realize that there is no foundation for religious belief other than an emotional need.
On morals:
You wonder why anyone who does not believe in the Bible's God would be "moral". Let's define "moral" in terms of the Golden Rule, which is about as good a definition as I can come up with: A moral person does as little harm as possible to his fellowman as possible, and does as much good for them as possible. Of course, this is a rather self-referential definition, since it's inherently subjective: Do (or do not) unto others as you would have others (not) do unto you. I needn't try to be more precise than this.
Given the above subjective definition, it is obvious that atheists, agnostics and believers can be moral. The reason non-believers can be moral is that they can have empathy for their fellowmen. On the other hand, believers have a serious problem: while they certainly can have empathy, they must also contend with the charge that they are moral ONLY because they fear that God will kill them if they are not. Therefore the moral atheist has an ethical advantage over the moral believer -- he can prove that he is moral by choice, not because of a death threat.
I have many friends and relatives who are atheists, and who are far more moral in the above sense than most of the Christians I have ever known. So for me, observation of actual human behavior proves my points.
On the purpose of life:
You've spoken several times about your need to find meaning and purpose in life. Yet you've not once actually said what that means to you.
For JWs, the purpose of life is to do God's will. Well what the hell does that mean? Examine the problem carefully: What is "meaning"? What is "purpose"? Is a "meaning and purpose of life" of doing God's will any better or worse than, say, of just enjoying the life you have? What makes any particular meaning or purpose better than any other?
Until you can clearly define these things and talk about them in concrete terms, your words will remain a mere emotional expression. I certainly understand this. The question is: Do you understand it?
AlanF