Pro-Life or Pro-Choice--HELP

by Quincy 123 Replies latest social relationships

• 

  LDH

  Quincy,

  I'm sorry. There just is not right answer. It's whatever happens between the two of you. But could you clarify something for me that would help me understand?

  Are you/Is she a JW? This changes matters.

  Lisa
• 

  SPAZnik

  Ooooo, this thread makes my head & heart & tummy huuuuuuurt.
  
  This is a highly emotionally charged issue.
  Please,
  for your own sakes,
  if not for the clump of cells,
  try to find constructive ways
  to resolve this issue
  rather than allowing the
  understandable
  frustration of the issue
  reduce you to further destructive
  name-calling each other.
  
  I would recommend seeking counselling.
  (and i do mean other than the little sis).
  Go together, preferrably,
  or even just for you if she won't go.
  I understand that most communities offer such services for free.
  A phone call or two, should be all it takes
  to find some tangible support on this issue and help you through it.
  
  I feel that both parents err uh parties should spare no effort or expense to
  come to some compromise on this one. Both people made that clump of
  cells and both people should have some say. Theoretically.
  
  And I'm not talking just about money and who pays.
  I'm talking about the more important matter of whether to abort or adopt or keep.
  
  (Personally, I could never pay for a "hit" I didn't order.
  If she is not willing to respect your desires on this sensitive issue,
  if she is choosing to abort against the father's wishes,
  she should pay for it herself. HER body, HER decision, HER bill.)
  
  I myself am undecided on whether or not i would be
  capable of having an abortion. At this time, i cannot imagine
  being capable of doing that. However, i also cannot imagine
  having a kid. So...
  I believe that actually being in the situation is far more
  revealing than speculating on being in the situation.
  I also think that each situation that decides these things
  is unique.
  
  If you are unwilling to unqualifiedly
  spare no expense or effort
  in backing up your stand for adoption or keeping,
  then i'd have to regrettably agree, it then becomes her choice.
  
  I hope you seek counselling in order to help you through this.
  
  I wish you both few regretz.
  
  Peace.

  SPAZ
• 

  Mister 8iggs

  I am Quincy's older brother (I'm 32). Quincy was never a JW. Our mom was and our older sister ("Nikita") was, I was, and our older brother still is.

  Our mom and sister stopped attending meetings around 1985ish. Quincy was only 5 years old at the time. He never really got a chance to get involved with the religion. His girlfirend was never a JW.

  This is just an FYI for those who were asking.
• 

  outnfree

  Quincy,

  Have you considered telling her mother that your girlfriend is about to abort her [first?] grandchild? Your girlfriend might be surprised at the maturity and compassion her mother displays.

  out
• 

  larc

  Out, dang I was thinking the same thing, but hesitated to write it. I am glad you did. I guess BW-3 minds think alike.
• 

  StinkyPantz

  Me, too. I was thinking that but didn't want everyone to jump down my throat like some like to do in this forum.
• 

  bitter mango

  i think being afraid of her mother's reaction is a sad excuse for having an abortion (if that is the reason) but i don't think it would be good for anyone if quincy told his girlfriend's mom that she's pregnant.
• 

  LDH

  I have to agree with Mango on this; I'm not sure I'd tell her mom. Her mom will just try to use some emotional blackmail, and although you may get the desired RESULTS it will not be without a HEFTY PRICE TAG.

  Lisa
• 

  Scarlet

  Ok I have alot to say on this subject and I am sure many will disagree.

  For Starters. Xander-

  You too are a group of cells, how about if your mother terminated your life, wouldn't that have been unfair?

  Quincy-

  I am very sorry for the situation you are in. I do not feel you have to pay for the abortion since you oppose it and you need to make your stand. I think your relationship probably won't be the same after this.

  Just a note to all you women out there having sex remember getting pregnant leaves you the most reponsible for the child. If you do not want to get pregnant take control of the situation and get on BIRTH CONTROL. Planned Parenthood has many clinics around the nation where you can get free or low cost birth control. Also remember to use condoms to prevent diseases and pregnancy but at least if you forget the condom you have the back up of birth control for preventing pregnancy.

  Edited by - Scarlet on 10 August 2002 2:4:47
• 

  Xandria

  I just know I am going to get nailed on this by everyone. But INMHO birth control is the responsiblity of both partners the male and female. Not just the woman...

  Also I know "accidents" happen... that is why it is so important to know the stance of your partner on children, before engaging in sex. Her goals may not reflect yours. In no way should a child feel like a "mistake". Yes, it her body.. but it is both of your lives that are going to be effected. She is scared.. that is normal, you may ask her to wait a few weeks ( if she has that luxury) and then re-consider options. It is not as if you do not want to support the child.

  But you also have to look at it through her stand point too.. she is not prepared to be a mother nor feels she wants to have a child out there. You may want to speak to a counselor at planned parenthood and that way you have a mediator who will have both stances and opinions voiced. Perhaps a work out option can be found. But in the end the choice is hers.

  Xandria