JW funeral and I am DF'd

Vivamus

I have not been a very active poster lately [have you missed me?]. There has been plenty of drama in my life the last few weeks, and my time has been absorbed by it.

My grandma is seriously ill, and has but a few more months to live. My grandma [and my mum] are also both JW, and I am DFd. Now, that has never been a problem for them, our relation has been as close since I was DFd as it was before, which is very close.
But they are still JW, which means that I am being confronted on a regular basis with the witnesses and elders. Its is giving me the chills. My grandma is arranging her own funeral, and naturally, she wants a lecture in the Hall.

Now here is my dilemma:
The elders have graciously decided that I need to sit in the back during the lecture. Now, personally, I resent doing that, it would mean acknowledging their authority and I will not do that. So, I suggested to my family that we all just walk in, walk to the front, and sit down. They back me up on that one. But now here is my question, what will the elders do with that? Will they simply accept it, or will they come up to me and ask me to move. Or will they even refuse to begin, if Im up front? What do you all think?

Viv.

A Paduan

I do belive that you should care less what They think.

If they ask you to move, don't. If they refuse to start, just sit there. They won't want a scene, and whatever you do - don't back down - never - no quarter - none whatsoever. It's not right that you should in a way accomodate them.

If they lay a hand on you, well, I'm sure you know what to do with that one. Just sit there - I really don't think that they're going to call the police - do you?

paduan

Beck_Melbourne

Hi Viv...yes I missed you...nice to see you back. Sorry to hear about your situation.

Regarding the elders decision to place you down the back...well I think the brother who said that may be from the old school. I spoke to my ex recently on this subject, regarding my own grandmother...who is also jw...and I asked him his thoughts on whether I had to sit anywhere specific for her service in the KH. He told me that DF people do not have to sit down the back anymore. That was an old 'rule'...and now you can sit anywhere you choose in the KH. I'm sorry that I don't have the exact article that it came from, but I'm sure there are others who may remember it, or who can find it for you. Fingers crossed someone will recall it and may be able to post it on here for all of us.

But that is my understanding, that you can sit anywhere you choose...the KH is place of meeting for the general public as well as JW members. Hey, you can even wear trousers if you want LOL.

For the sake of your grandmother, I would probably not raise the issue in her presence while she is still alive. It may be kinder for her to think that you are conforming. But..when the time comes...there is no way I would sit down the back...and I wouldn't hesitate to tell them where they can stick their gracious suggestion!

Beck

kenpodragon

Sit where you want and accept nothing of what the puppets of stupidity say!!!!!!!!!

ozziepost

Nice to see you posting, Viv, even if it's about such a distressing subject.

Our thoughts are with you. How sad that men can act as they do, and in the name of their God, too.

Be strong.

Cheers, Ozzie

Wolfgirl

I'm sorry you're having a rough time. :(

Sit with the rest of the family. That's where you belong; you are family. Screw the elders. They won't make a scene; they haven't got the balls.

Edited by - Wolfgirl on 3 September 2002 3:49:17

ugg

yes,,,i have noticed your absense on the board...i am so sorry about your grandma...sit with the

family...do nothing different....they will not cause a scene....

Prisca

((((((viv))))))

Sorry that your grandmother is so ill - it's a distressing time no matter what the circumstances are.

I'm with the others - sit up the front with the rest of your family. The funeral is supposed to be a service to comfort those left behind, not to make things more awkward for everyone concerned.

refiners fire

SIT WITH YOUR KIN!!

Bugger those bastards . They wont DARE call you on it.

And prepare yourself for the most boring, braindead hour in your history listening to the funeral spiel. If I had my time over again Id call the speaker on it mid way through his putrid lecture. Id say "Hey mate. we didnt come here to listen to a bloody JW recruitment talk, say something about my grandmother"

Oh, indeed I would.....

QUOTE.....If they ask you to move, don't. If they refuse to start, just sit there. They won't want a scene, and whatever you do - don't back down - never - no quarter - none whatsoever......

thats what you should do. If you give in to those bastards you will hate yourself for years. I promise.

Edited by - refiners fire on 3 September 2002 6:11:46

refiners fire

Hey Viva.

Last time I told this story you werrent here, so...

Friend of mine invited me to his wedding, but his parents kicked up a stink cause i was disfellowshipped.

Eventually, they said to him." Him or us... choose", He chose. I went to the wedding, they stayed away from the wedding.

Now THAT is standing up for principle!!

JW funeral and I am DF'd

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