by nogs 44 Replies latest watchtower medical
Naomi,
Looking for people to banter back and forth about God.
That is OK to be here for that reason isn't it?
Just because I gave up on religion doesn't mean I have
to give up on God does it?
The way I see it now, religion is from man. Spirituality
is from God. I'm sticking to the latter from here on in.
I do find it quite amusing how our dialogue seems to go sour
all the time, don't you?
ta
I'm not sour but when someone talke down to me, even if there not aware of it, I'm going to respond aren't I. Look so what if you have had a raw deal, most of us have too. I suppose that you can blame it on Satan if you want to and wait on God to be your saviour. I think that personally, I want to live my life, fend for myself, I won't blame anyone else for my mistakes and the mistakes of others. Now I'm outta here I've stayed on this site longer than i wanted to really. I said my goodbyes and the others know that i am gone. so thats it. Talking to you is like talking to a brick wall, Unmoveable. Bye every one, good luck to you all.
Naomi
You are weird.
If the above post is a happy person... yikes!
nogs said:
[blah blah blah]
pomegranate responded:
[blah blah blah]... a happy person... yikes!
I say that pomegranate is not so happy either, so both of you need a donut so you can stop worrying and BE HAPPY!!!!
I felt exactly the same way in the truth. I was dying inside and no one gave a dam I thought and I did try and kill myself but it didn't work. In the end I left and am much happier now. All though if you are the time of person that is prone to depresion then you will always have a little bit of it in different stages in your life, which is what I have found.
,
nogs wrote: <I felt leaving was the only way I could lead a normal and happy life and was wondering if anyone else felt that way?????????>
Yes! :-)
gb
,
i am very new to the board, just an hour or so. this topic caught my attention because i have been dealing with depression for about 4 years now (and the therapist i saw said it has probably been longer). the past 18 months have been the worse - my mother, a faithful sister, died from kidney cancer (she was diagnosed and died two months later) and then five days after i buried her, i was admitted to the hospital and had to have a total hysterectomy. follwoing my surgery, my health has gotten progressively worse. the first year follwoing my mother's death, i didn't mourn. i felt like if i grieved it would be showing a weak faith, or disbelief in the resurrection. then towards the end of 2005, all the grief and emotion dropped on me like loaded safe. i was also upset about turning 40 and having never been on a date, or had a boyfriend, and being older, my chances of ever having that gone. (i say this becasue here in the States the brothers my age like 'em young with perfect bodies and pretty faces - forget about personality and spiritual qualities). anyway, i spoke with the elders on several occasions, but the sessions were fruitless because i never felt i could honestly express myself. so it was the same speech all the time. what really used to tick me off was when they would tell me that i should appreciate my singleness and view it as a blessing (not in those exact words but really close). of course it was always married people who tell you that. and i was in a congregation in florida where 95% of the members were married, 4.7% were widowed (and a lot older than me!)and .2% were children, and .1% were single, however, they were younger than me and most were dating. i was made to feel like i was doing something wrong for wanting to find someone to share my life with. having never had a man in the truth notice me made me feel ugly, and unworthy. and then on top of that the elders made me feel guilty for wanting to have a husband and family of my own. and not just the elders, but the other MARRIED sisters did the same. I remember one sister jumped down my throat about appreciating my singleness, and then invited me to her house to watch a movie with her and her husband. they sat on the couch cuddling and grinning at each other and i sat there alone and uncomfortable. i let her know that i didn't appreciate her telling me i was wrong for wanting to end my singleness and have a husband, but then she turns around and without regards for my feelings make me feel like third wheel. i never went to their house to socialize again. weddings also became a depressive activity for me. i haven't been to one in about 6 years. why? because i get tired of sitting there watching everyone else dance to songs i love becasue i am single and should not be slow dancing with a man. so, i now boycott weddings. the same thing would happen when all of my married friends would invite me out "dancing" - they would dance and i sit at the table all night looking like a retard. so, my last shepherding call was a disaster. the one of the brothers told me that it was up to me to make myself happy and until i was ready to do so, they couldn't help me (mind you i am also on welbutrin, because i have been diagnosed with clinical depression). i blew up. i finally just told them to go ahead and give their speech and i would just stare off into space. following that i rarely went to a meeting. of course the guilty was killing me and i have sinced moved back to the state i grew up in and i have started attending meetings again. but it is hard. i feel like Jehovah turned his back on me years ago (as is His right), so i don't feel like i belong in the Kingdom Hall. but where else am i going to go? i have been thinking a lot about death lately becasue i don't feel like i have much to live for. i haven't actually tried anything, but the thought is always there.
MeTheMc, you have a letter from me in your mail box.
The bOrg is like a mother with Borderline Personality Disorder. A mother with that illness expects her 'children' to follow her example. Chaos and crazymaking behavior are all pert of the game.
For what it's worth, your friends sound like they are mirroring their 'mother' very well. Study all you can about the personality disordered Society, and the traits of borderline personality. You do not have to remain their victim.
Hang in there, sweetie. This post you responded to is five years old; how you found it among the thousands of pages on this forum is a minor miracle. Consider that you may have been led here by some Higher Power. Stay. Read. Learn. You may find a home here and start on the path to spiritual healing. Many have had that experience on this board and have come to grips with their feelings and found a place to stand.
