Mary,
My heart goes out to you and your family, I have no good advise, but I am thinking and praying for you.
Luv
Tish
I HAVE CANCER
by Mary 34 Replies latest jw friends
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Mackin
I can't add anything that hasn't already been said. My best thoughts are with you Mary.
Mackin.
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Angharad
(((((Mary)))))))
Sorry this is happening to you.
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LeslieV
I think everyone has already given you good advice. I just wanted to say that I am sorry that you are facing this. If you take control of your own health decisions it will make you feel more in charge. That is what I had to do with my chronically ill daughter.
My thoughts are with you.
Leslie
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blondie
Sorry, to hear of your situation, Mary. A close friend went through something similar. She had a hysterectomy 8 years ago (a single woman with no children) and has been cancer-free. It made her angry to have her choice to have children taken away from her because of an incompetent doctor. You have a lot of good practical information here. Keep us apprised of your progress.
Blondie
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SYN
Mary, you're a great gal, and I'm very sad that this is happening to you! There's been so much sadness on this forum recently...
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Sirona
Hi Mary
First of all, I'm sorry that you've just been diagnosed with cancer. I have been battling it too, (Melanoma).
I hope that I can help you with some of my suggestions/comments about it all.
Here is what you can expect from your own emotions (all or some of). I'm basing this on my experience and I hope it helps you realise that you are not alone in your feelings and your feelings are normal:
Firstly, Shock. That is normal and good for you because shock helps you think in a crisis. You will feel numb and you won't have too much emotion straight away. Even if you feel "upset" we are not talking real upset, because you somehow just can't. Don't worry about this, it will pass and your mind/soul will let you feel the emotions when you are ready to handle them.
Fear. You will feel fearful, expecially when you start coming across statistics (such and such percent survival, etc.) Please IGNORE the statistics. They do not apply to YOU personally. Yes, you should find out prognosis, but remember noone knows how your body will respond to treatments.
A very important point : Cancer does not mean death. When we hear the word cancer we immediately think of death. It does not mean that for most people and nowadays there are millions of survivors of cancer and the survivors increase every year.
Powerlessness. You may suddenly feel that your fate in in the hands of some blank-faced doctor. That isn't true. Your fate is in your own hands....you CAN help yourself in recovery and you CAN be part of the treatment process. They are there to serve YOU, remember that. Hints for your appointments to make you less powerless are:
* Investigate possible treatments for yourself. The net has lots of great information. Print it out and take it with you. Ask if the treatments are available for you and if they are not, ask WHY? When I first was diagnosed, I was told that a certain treatment would not be available for me....but on seeing another consultant, she agreed to it straight away. * never leave the appointment room without having your questions answered. Write down your questions before you go. * Ask about side effects and other aspects of treatment (they usually don't tell you unless you ask). * Consult a fertility expert (in your case). My cancer is elsewhere, but I know that sometimes if you don't need a full hysterectomy they can harvest your eggs etc and facilitate a pregancy (or even a surrogate pregancy for you in the future, using your eggs....dont let them throw your eggs away!). If they tell me I need chemo then I am going to tell them to harvest my eggs because chemo makes you infertile (I have heard).
If you are going into hospital, ask about whether you will be seen by a consultant in hospital. Ask how long you will be in for. Don't let them admit you and then you sit in hospital wondering what is going on. (that happened to me! and believe me, nurses don't tell you anything).
I'd advise you to buy a couple of books...one that helped me is http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0452280745/qid=1031313260/sr=1-2/ref=sr_1_0_2/202-9921779-8755844
Cancer : 50 Essential Things to Do Greg Anderson , O. Carl Simonton
which gives lots of advise and help. It isn't depressing at all and it is valuable advise. Buy it asap if you can.
Remember, Mary, your options are not "gone" - you are not powerless, and there is still chance of you having a baby in future. Like I said, consult someone who knows - a fertility expert. If it came to it, I would accept someone as a surrogate mother on my behalf (using my eggs) (like I said this could happen to me if I have to have chemo).
Either way, the most important thing for you is your life and you can survive this. Some people have come back from very, very severe cancer. Someone I know had lung cancer (which is a very small chance of survival) and he is living now, 10 years later.
I know that noone but you knows how you are really feeling. It is difficult because friends and family can't really know how you are feeling. Remember, they are hurting a lot too. I hope you find, like I did, that they rally around you and give you lots of love and help.
You will definately get love and help here......please email me any time and I will try to help. I'm going into hospital next week myself for tests of lymph glands, but I should pick up my emails within a few days after that.
Don't expect too much of yourself, let yourself get over the initial shock, and then get fighting!
Love + Hugs + blessings to you
Sirona
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Sirona
Mary,
Just another thought, sorry if I sounded like I was saying "other people get over it so will you".
I know that just because other people get over it it doesn't mean you will feel any better right now. Yes, the reality is that some people don't get over it. I was just trying to highlight how theres a good chance for you, and me.
Sirona
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orangefatcat
A Great Big Huge Hug For You Mary!!
Orangefatcat.
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BONEZZ
Mary.......Please know we love and support you. The people who have been there can really be helpful.
-BONEZZ