JGnat Says Hi

by jgnat 71 Replies latest jw experiences

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    I have been wandering around the board for a while now, and have decided it is time to contribute a bit of my history. I have described my involvement with the Witnesses as being from the outside looking in. My sweet Honey has been trying for two years to get reinstated. Some well-meaning folks here have reacted with horror, as if they had just found an infant playing with the nozzle end of a giant vacuum cleaner. When you get to know me better, I think you will agree it is impossible for me to get sucked in to this organization.

    In getting this stuff done, one problem I have is that I feel I have lived several lifetimes already. To get it all down would be tedious for me and boring for you. So I will focus just on the few pivotal moments that directed and shaped me to who I am today. Often when I write about my hard times, it depresses me and makes readers sad. That would not be an accurate reflection of who I am or what my life has been. Like most people I have both happy and sad bits, but when I reflect at the whole, my life is sweet. Like a bittersweet piece of rich, dark chocolate, my hope is that you will enjoy this little taste of my life.

    Fluffy Dies

    I had my first and only temper tantrum when my kitty, Fluffy, died. A few hours earlier, she had huddled, bleeding, shivering with shock, under my bed. My best pleas could not coax her out. Wild dogs had got at her, we figure. My mom, ignorant of the differences of living in the West Indies, had let Fluffy out for the night. After her injury, my parents waited till I went out to play, then whisked her off to the vet for a peaceful end. I was tormented by the thought of the pain and loneliness Fluffy must have felt, guilt for having forgotten her during her last moments, and enraged that my parents had deceived me. My other memories of living in Trinidad are golden; the tiny flavourful bananas from our neighbour, fresh sugar cane and flowers from our gardener; geckos skittering across the wall, weekends at the beach, playing jungle pirate with the boys at school, Vesta our maid who taught me to sew. Vesta, the one who got me my kitten. How I loved her. I was six years old.

    OK, will stop for now. I wrote down three pivotal moments, and realized I was writing a book! I think I will do this in instalments instead. My structure so far,

    • Reader Dreamer
    • Teen Nerd
    • Pregnancy, Violence, Escape
    • Single Parent Extraordinaire
    • A Parents Grief
    • Self Discovery
    • My Honey
    • Grandma
    • A Parents Grief Continued
    • Not Over Yet
  • hamptonite21
    hamptonite21

    thank you for sharing, I look forward to the rest of your story

  • Tzu
    Tzu

    Looking forward to the rest of your story too.

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    90 hits and counting..I guess my story is interesting enough to continue:

    Reader Dreamer

    Coming back to Canada was rough. I talked funny, I did not know any girly-girl games, and there were no jungles to play in. Kids can be cruel to those who are different. I doodled and dawdled through school. I retreated in to books. I rode free with the Black Stallion, set out useful trinkets for the Little People, had faith in Santa Claus, and believed I could fly if I just imagined hard enough. That last part worried my parents, but they shouldnt have bothered. My faith did not extend to jumping off the roof of the house; I practiced from the top of the front step first.

    Teen Nerd

    By the time I hit Junior High I had a great vocabulary for impressing teachers, but not so useful for a kid trying to fit in. A reform-minded teacher introduced me to the debating club, and I learned to project my voice. I also discovered that any subject can be argued successfully from both sides. That energetic teacher also tried to switch my handedness from left to right. It is hard to believe now that I actually tried to switch to please her. I believed in UFOs and my Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. And, oh yes. My mom had her first nervous breakdown.

    One day, there was a note on the table from our neighbour Your mother has had a nervous breakdown. Come next door when you get home. One day my mom was vivacious, frenetic and wild - the next, a zombie in a hospital bed. Even when mom got home, her eyes were at half-mast, the sparkle gone. Early on, I know dad considered leaving. Looking back, I am glad he stayed, even when I saw him retreat to drink. Back then, mom might very well have gotten custody. When she is on a rampage, mom can be very bitter and cruel. Dad kept us steady. And enrolled us in sailing lessons. As fast as my teen brain could tuck it away, I ignored this hiccup in our suburban life.

  • outnfree
    outnfree

    Wow!

    More please...

    out

  • Double Edge
    Double Edge

    Continue....please....(I'm interested)

  • Joyzabel
    Joyzabel

    WOW jgnat, please continue.

    (especially the sailing part, that's my love. I LOVE to sail, been sailing solo since age 10)

    hugs,

    j2bf

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    Here are the next instalments. Thank you all for the encouragement. Joy, I just can't fit all my sailing stories in here. I would end up with a book for sure! Let's chat or start a string about it sometime. I bet you have a lot of stories to tell, too.

    Pregnancy and Violence

    I was studying at the public library when I met a guy with a Jesus beard who talked Yoga. He promised to show me some new moves back at his apartment. With enough practice a pregnancy resulted; a rude shock to us both. When dad found out his eyebrows went together, building a thundercloud of disapproval. Ooh, those eyebrow thunderclouds. It still amazes me how much dad says without saying anything at all.

    Having a baby turned out to be a great way of avoiding my future. Everyone figured I was headed for university - a brain surgeon or something. But me, I was floundering. Everyone said university was really hard. I wasnt even trying very hard at schoolwork. I was sure everyone would find out I was a fraud. Besides, I was really lonely. The kids thought I was weird with my transcendental talk. Mom had her problems, and dad had his hands full with her. Anyways, at sixteen I just knew it was true love. I ran away from home, dropped out of school, and moved in with YogaMan. I contacted my family a few days after running away. My dads eyes were so full of sadness. He gathered me in to a fierce bear hug, and let me go.

    It turned out YogaMan was no saviour. He despised his mother and father. He despised his friends (behind their back). In time, he despised me. He hit me, the first time, when I was six months pregnant with my little boy. My husband was furious that I had told mom some of our private business. That was the start of a long, slow spiral of violence and despair. Interspersed with fits of repentance and apology. In between somewhere I had my little baby girl. I did love my babies. I told myself it was not that bad, since I had no broken bones. He was sensitive and deep. Nobody understood him. The worst was when he vented his rage on our baby son. To get back at me. I got up the courage to show mom the bite marks on my boys arms and legs. Mom was shocked in to speechlessness. And did nothing. A lifetime of civilized behaviour did not prepare me or my mom for dealing with a monster.

    Escape

    On this part of the story, dear readers, I will not tolerate any mocking or disbelief. Whatever you may believe about Gods existence, believe my testimony here. And I do mean testimony in the courtroom sense of the word, not the evangelical sense. God deserves credit for my rescue. Anything less is a disservice to Him.

    Broken, alone in our apartment, I called out one day, God, what do I do? I got an audible answer:

    Call Better Way

    Better Way was a Christian counselling service that ran ads in our community.

    Lonely? Depressed? Need help? Call Better Way. 24 hours a day

    I called. I was counselled and loved. I kept calling. Six months later, I left my husband and walked in to this loving church. I tried to join in to the service, and sing like they did. But I couldnt. They were singing with their whole hearts, full of energy and love and gratefulness. I was a shell of my former self. All tenderness and sweetness had been beat out of me. When the pastor asked people forward for repentance, I bolted upright and shouted, I want to be born again! I wanted what these people had. I did, indeed, start a new life that day.

    There is another miracle worth mentioning. At one point in our breakup, my husband came by my parents house and took my boy. I was too weak with fear to put up much protest. A week later in a counselling session, I pointed out a bruise on my boys cheek. YogaMan ran out of the session. I called the police. But his apartment was empty. I prayed and prayed as only a mother can. We got a call the next day from the airport police. I went to get my boy. YogaMan had emptied out the bank account and had one-way tickets to Montreal. If he had succeeded, I may never have seen my boy again. In his paranoid mind, YogaMan believed I had tracked him down. In fact, his shuttle bus partner had asked the airport police to check him out. YogaMan had been talking rambling paranoid nonsense all the way out to the airport. Here is the miracle part. My husbands shuttle bus partner was the British High Commissioner of Canada. I have a Christmas card from the Commissioner, wishing us the very best. What a very nice man.

  • outnfree
    outnfree

    Incredible!

    ((((jgnat))))

    You certainly have been through hell and back.

    bttt (and the writing's wonderful, btw)

  • LDH
    LDH

    JGNAT,

    I responded earlier, the board ate my post. This is one of the most incredible life stories I've ever read here!

    PLEASE don't stop now.

    Lisa

    Hates Cliffhangers Class

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