JGnat Says Hi (page 7)

new22day

Great story jgnat. Thnaks for sharing. You live in the same community with my brother. He's been up in GC for years. It is a beauty. I grew up a little south of you in the mountains of Hinton.

alias

JGnat,

What I appreciate about the gift of writing is, that once our words, stories, experiences, love, joy, and humor is put down in a shareable format, it can be enjoyed eternally.

That this thread was started over 10 years ago to chronicle a beautifully creative life (yours) and is here today for me to find it for the first time is fantastic.

I have read up to "Not Over Yet" and just felt drawn to respond. I am so glad you shared this, your gift with words, and your indelible presence.

You have a perspective on marriage to a JW that helps me immensely when I read it. All I can do is smile and be grateful that I'm not alone.

jgnat

My granddaughter fell in love with this mountain when she visited me a couple years ago. I couldn't convince her there was one more stunning.

JGnat, It has been a pleasure to make your acquaintence! What a full life you have led! I want to thank you and Pickler both for your warm, supportive posts on my threads. I am a new poster, after lurking on JWN for about a year. This board can be a bit intimidating and fast-paced as mentioned by another poster on this thread. I'm glad I didn't miss your story.

We have a few things in common. I have a mother who had a "nervous breakdown" and was never the same after that. She had post-partum psychosis after I was born and again after my brother was born. I was nine when I became the defacto parent. My mom had an untreated personality disorder and Bipolar Disease all the years I was growing up. I now have PTSD. I have been her primary caregiver for 12 years-- through cancer, a double knee replacement and now Alzheimer's Disease (Stage 5). Watching my mom who could never be a real mother to me or my siblings fade away before my eyes is still very sad.

Also, I have a sister with Schizoaffective Disorder (Schizophrenia and Bipolar Disorder). She was the sister that I most tried to protect from my mother's rage. My sister is very fortutunate to be in a loving, stable marriage. I was able to have a nice chat with her about her illness in December. She said she sees people in the hallway if it's dark, so her husband leaves the light on in the hallway for her. She sees people in mirrors, so they don't have mirrors in the house and she loves it when her cat Jimmy talks to her. Her meds are better, and she is clearer than she has been in decades. It gives me peace knowing she is happy and not fearful. I'm so glad to hear your son is off street drugs and is finding balance and purpose in his life.

Our difference lies in the fact that I was the only one in my family that got assimilated into the bOrg. It took me 42 years to get out. I have told my hubby that I wish he had tried a little harder to get through to me. He would start up conversations about science and evolution about once a year, but that was not an important issue to me. I wish he had tried another angle, but maybe I just needed to figure it out by myself. I'd like to think we can have an impact on those who are still brainwashed, because I wish my dearest friend was free; but the fact is, even though my hubby faded over 30 years ago and is now posting on JWN, he is still not ready to fully hear or research TTATT. So we live day to day, and I throw down the B*** S*** card as needed.

jgnat

I'll tell you the big secret for longevity on the board. I likely got all I needed in the first two years. At that point, I was at an impasse; do I sit back and wait to be entertained (sure path to boredom), or repurpose my reason for being here? My great pleasure now is in welcoming new people and listening to their stories.

rubadub, I can imagine it is hard for you to trust anyone to take care of you. I know I struggled with that. I set up my life so I cannot be vulnerable. It takes work to let go and trust others to do their part.

I am glad your sister has found a good life.

crmsicl

I enjoyed getting to know you better.

rubadubdub

Jgnat, Thanks for your thougts. Now you've made me cry. You are right about the trust issue. It is very hard.

Also, having exited over 18 months ago, I, too, needed to find a focus for my visits to the ex-jw on-line community. For a while I welcomed new ones on the Yuku forum, but when my PTSD was triggered recently, I found the painful intro stories too disturbing. So now when I am over there I mostly stick to the private discussion area where I know people and their stories. Here on JWN I just take it a day at a time reading the Active Topics and try to help where I might have something of value to share from my own life experience in or out of the bOrg.

Hugs,

Rubbity

jgnat

I have that knack, making people cry. But I swear it is always a good cry that makes you feel better afterwards.

I'm content with my flaws, as long as I don't hurt others because of them.

My sister won't even let people touch her. She fears losing control. For her, a trip to the spa is torture. Me, I love letting go during a massage, haircut (let someone else caress my scalp), or a nice paraffin pedicure.

I feel luckier in a way, because there were times where I was not enough, I reached out, and there were people there to catch me.

cantleave

Thank you for bumping this!

Amazing story, amazing woman!

Gypsy Sam

I read through your story and really enjoyed your inspirational writing style. Your daughter and her family are very attractive. Your comments on the board are so fitting. Thank you for sticking around

JGnat Says Hi

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