Hi

by trybalance 121 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  ashitaka

  You need a straighter answer or are you just looking to piss people off?

  His next reply will tell the tale, methinks.

  ash
• 

  Dismembered

  Welcome Trybalance

  very cool name

  Dismembered
• 

  trybalance

  Jurs I stated for a fact that I was not a member of this religion and that I went with my wife. They do not call me brother. I also know that nowwhere in anything that I wrote did I call anyone a name or accuse anyone of anythng. I told how I saw things ans aksed why you guys like to keep rehashing this stuff. Youguys started the rest of the stuff- reas for yourself. I kept on going back to my origianl question. Some here tried to turn this into a personal thing- wasnt me.
• 

  undercover

  He may be a troll, but in his defense:

  I think I undrestand where he's coming from. There is a lot of rage and hate on this board. A lot of bullshit too. It's hard to weed thru some the most negative stuff to get to the real issues. There are a lot of sincere people on this board who just want to help others find their freedom from the oppression. Others just want to express their hate and rage. Flaming someone who seems to have a valid question just hurts the validity of anything the flamer would have to say in the future.

  It's a free county. If someone wants to be a JW, fine do it. But be forewarned. They are not what they claim they are. Don't look for sympathy from too many here if you decide to become one. It's one thing to be duped, it's another to walk in with open eyes and having knowledge that it is not the true religion. I think he's on the up and up, and is trying to be as objective and fair as possible. What he doesn't know is the pain and hurt one can go thru to get out of the org. I hope he or is wife does not have to go thru that.
• 

  ashitaka

  Try,

  I just posted something. Read and reply to it if you wish.

  We mean no harm either, but we ARE passionate about what happened to us. I was only mildly stung, but other, so much worse. Randomly email anyone who posted something on this thread, and I'm sure they'd have a story for you. A real-life account, that you wouldn't have experienced yet, because the Witnesses are still trying to lure you in. They're going to be nice as pie until you piss off the wrong person. And it could be about nothing, the type of tie you wore that night, but if you make issue of anything, then they want you gone, or completely worshipful of whatever rule thay want you to follow.

  Now, an argument about a type of tie to wear seems like a nonsense thing to be angry about, but that is how microscopic their sensibilites are. They're insane. My friend had a nervous breakdown because of them. Others lost whole families. Others had crimes committed against them by JW family members, and nothing was done to the JW.

  We could tell you in ten hours the horrors the JWs are responsible for. You just have to email one or some of us if you really want to know a personal experience at the hands of the JWs.

  ash
• 

  Valis

  Anyway, as an outsider, so to speak, I had to sign up here and ask why all the attitude?

  undercover is this the reasonable question you think he asked? So its too hard for you to "weed" through all the hate huh? Please do show me all this "hate and anger" you have to read through is to get to pertinent information. I'll be waiting...BTW, if tb had bothered to read some of the heartbreaking stuff you find here then it becomes a rhetorical question. I doubt this has ever happened. Lastly, I find it amusing when folks who haven't been registered users for more than a month or so want to make big blanket statements in regards this board and its members. The first time you post should not be used as an vehicle to alienate yourself from the group so as to create an adversarial you against us attitude. A pleasant "HI, nice to meet you all, I have some questions please and btw, this is my story.." Much more pleasant than stirring up a hornet's nest right off the bat don't you think? Or at least wait a while before starting in..*L* Ever hear of discretion being the better part of valor? Duh...

  Sincerely,

  District Overbeer
• 

  Alana

  Hi, Trybalance......I understand what you are saying. I don't post here all that often, but I read the posts all the time. I also know alot of XJW's that have been able to go on....some here, who are here to help others heal and try to get on with their lives. My first husband was a JW and he was able to move on with his life and when I spoke with him a few years ago, I mentioned the online sites and he said he didn't need to re-live that part of his life....that that part of his life was gone. He's 'healed' for the most part.....he still lost most all of his family, and no doubt somewhere in his heart he feels pain, but he says "that's their choice".

  However, I do honestly believe that unless a person has experienced what another person has in life, they don't know exactly how it feels, or how that person will handle things.......as many times the way we handle some things depends on how we were raised or taught to do so.

  My boyfriend has a hard time sometimes with all the XJW things and doesn't understand how they can require their members to do some of the things they do and act the way they do......like not report things, cut off family, etc. But, I tell him that if that is all you were ever taught and have that fear instilled in you, you do things that you may not like.....yes, it's your choice, but if it's all you were ever taught and you sincerely believe that it's the most Holy way to act, then you do it.

  So, people let bad things continue (i.e., child abuse, die from no blood, not report physical abuse, etc.) because they know no other way or are afraid of the consequences to "their little insulated world" if they do try to 'buck the system'.....they will be branded as evil as Satan the Devil himself. I don't think I have as "bad" of an attitude about JWs, I feel more pity for them....at least the ones like my elderly parents, who sincerely want to be serving God and feel this is the only way........they are not currupt indivuals, just misled sheep. I feel that God can see in each of our hearts and knows which ones are like that....and which ones are just bad people.......just like in any religion.

  I also feel that many online, who have been hurt so bad by what they have experienced, just don't want others to fall into the same trap that they did and possibly experience the same pain. People vent this in many different ways.....and many online are at different levels of 'healing'. Each of our personalities are different as well, and just handle any kind of matters differently.

  Personally, I am glad you feel you have the ability to move on when you need to in your life and not dwell on things that may not be able to be changed (like situations that have occurred). Others may not be able to as well, and others yet may not wish to, as then they feel that others may then suffer, too, because of their complacity. We are all different and I relish the freedom to be able to be different. It has helped me to hear some of these others' experiences, feelings, and ventings.......even if sometimes they do have "an attitude".....because I have experienced similar things and can relate to the feelings and frustrations and no longer feel "alone" out in this world that I was taught was so unGodly, vile, and evil......and, which, by the way, I have found is not that way at all.

  I hope things continue as well for you as they seem to be now. I had a friend growing up that married a non-JW, and they are happy together now for over 20 years......it was quite a scandal in our little congregation, even though eventually those in the congregation did some to like him. He has never studied or become a JW, but attends sometimes on special occasions........and the congregation goes to their farm sometimes for picnics, etc., and do sincerely like him. But, even his wife feels bad sometimes, because she knows that according to her beliefs, he will be destroyed by Jehovah at sometime, with the rest of the non-JWs at Armageddon and it makes her sad sometimes. He's Lutheran, and while he may beleive some of the JW doctrine, he has no desire to convert....and he hasn't interferred in her raising their three children as JWs. They, however, are more of the exception, rather than the rule, but it can happen.....and I hope it stays happy and that way with you and your wife.....I truly do.

  I feel that most everyone here is basically well-meaning.......it's like when a new person to JWs feels they "have the Truth" and has to tell everyone in their family.....because they don't want them to die at Armageddon.....so, out of love, they might pester the hell out of their family and maybe even drive some of them away.....and maybe they use that "tough love" approach, that JWs are masters of.......to shun them until they 'come to their senses'. Most of the time, while not the most kind thing, may truly be out of love.

  So, please keep some of these thoughts in mind when you read some of the online things from XJWs....that we all react differently when actually are in certain situations and some want to be vocal to try to help keep others from being hurt.....or, they are hurt and are vocal for help, healing, and companionship.

  ~"Alana"
• 

  jurs

  YOU SAID THAT YOU KNEW THE QUESTION WOULD START ALOT OF BS. No you didn't actually call anyone a name but you certainly IMPLIED that were a bunch of hate mongers that can't stop being bitter . I think your a troll and even if I'm wrong and you are who you say you are, your just here to stir up trouble and don't wan't to understand. Hmmmm it doesn't make sense to me. jurs
• 

  email

  OK... I HAVE to put my 2 cents here... I've read the WHOLE dam thread while trying to get some work done... FINALLY... everytime I got to the end of one page... there's ONE MORE PAGE to read...

  It was pretty obvious to me "TRY" that you're not trying enough to see what everyone here is trying to say... try A LITTLE MORE to see what they are trying to say... and don't take it presonally... they are interpreting your words the exact same way you're interpreting theirs...

  By the way... earlier you asked WHY do we keep coming back to places like this?... WHY DO YOU keep coming back?... maybe NOW you understand

  <email>

  P.S. Keep it up trybalance... soon you'll become a Jedi Member of the board!!
• 

  undercover

  valis or DObeer(I'll go with DObeer, I like that name)

  You're right, I've only been posting for less than a month. My first post was asking for help for a doubter(me). I have learned a lot in the last couple of months and am still trying to deal with it. But I dont have to have 2000 posts to see that some here are bitter, angry people and they use this forum as a way to spout off. I ain't saying it's wrong, but they are there. I wasn't trying to be adversarial about it. I made a statement. Maybe it stung you a little bit, I dunno. I think I understand what this guy is asking and I sympathize with him. He may well be a troll, but then again, I've been accused of that too. I find it amusing that people who have been far removed from the WTS for years and thousands of posts still have to justify their existence by way of a exJW board. When I have learned all that I need to make the break, I will go on to live my life as I see fit, without having to seek the approval of any group, current, ex or otherwise.