Hi Trybalance,
You're right about this place not being touchy-feely. But it's about the same as every discussion group which focusses on controversial subjects - go and have a look at some of the politics newsgroups, if you don't believe me! LOL
Hi
by trybalance 121 Replies latest jw friends
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StinkyPantz
Try-
I can only speak for myself as to why I am angry. I was raised a JW, and was very close to my family. I was baptized at age 12, not totally understanding what I was getting myself in to. As I grew up I started finding flaws in my former believe system. I eventually fell in love with a non JW and moved in with him. I married him 2 months later but it was too late. I was disfellowshipped or excommunicated and now no JW I know (even my own parents) will not talk to me. I am 23 and the JWs and my family are all I know since I was allowed very little contact with others. So being disfellowshipped was devastating.
Wouldn't you be angry if your family stopped talking to you and pretty much everyone else you grew up knowing? I do not believe as they do and for this I will be shunned forever. My children will never know my parents, because I do not believe as JW do.
Doesn't it anger you that your wife believes that you won't recieve God's reward because you aren't a JW? And how could you not know all this, doesn't she tell you? Do you realize that if your children get baptized and then disfellowshipped she won't talk to them? And do you realize that if they need a blood transfusion she'll let them die before letting them have one?
Also, thousands have been disfellowshipped and most of them have extremely shaky if not nonexistent relationships with their families, what do you make of that?
Sorry if I sound angry but it's just not fair.
Edited by - StinkyPantz on 14 October 2002 1:10:54
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WildHorses
No need to regret asking. Sure, some do have an attidude, but then again when they were JW's they were not able to voice their opinons or they could possibly be in big trouble. They could be disfellowshiped for causing division if they did so. (You have to believe all that the Watch Tower Society teaches)
So now, I guess they are making up for what they couldn't do before. Just my opinion.
Shari
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myself
If a guy says the wrong thing on one of these places he gets beat up pretty hard.
That which doesn't kill you makes you stronger
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blondie
trybalance, I have to agree with you that some posters can be scary. That's why we have the little ignore button on the upper left corner. If someone is very nasty, just push that and you don't have to see or read their posts, poof they will be invisible.
Jehovah's witnesses are a very closed group, not the same as a neighborhood where people come and go, move or stay, without any repercussions.
Imagine being a small town with one congregation of Jehovah's witnesses about 60 people. Your daughter is molested by one of the brothers in that congregation. The elders are not required by law to report it to the authorities in your state. They put pressure on your family not to report it to the authorities because it would make Jehovah's organization look bad. Instead they promise to take care of it in-house. But first your daughter is required to confront the molester, and the molester denies doing anything. There are no eyewitnesses other than your daughter so the elders will not do anything. Will you go to the police now? The elders might say that is your choice as long as you don't mind bringing reproach on the congregation.
Are you going to stay in the congregation, knowing that your daughter's molester is going there, without anything being done to him judicially in the congregation. There is no other congregation within 50 miles to go to. Do you stop going to the congregation? Do you move to the nearest congregation, selling your house and changing your job?
I agree with the poster who said that as long as you come and don't question any of the JW beliefs you will be treated well.
Because you are an unbelieving husband, very few details of the real goings on are told to you. If your wife knows the gossip about the bad things, she will never tell you because she wants you to get baptized.
Once baptized, trybalance, you will be in the web. You can no longer just leave. You will either end up disfellowshipped by the congregation because of violating some law and being unrepentant in the elders' view, get disgusted by the hypocrisy you uncover and tell the congregation you no longer want to be a witness (disassociating yourself). In either case no witness will be able to talk to you or associate with you. Your wife will be allowed limited conversation with you. Even if you just stop going to the meetings and participating in the ministry (inactive), people at the kingdom hall will still not have much to do with you not being sure of your spiritual status.
Don't ever get baptized just to please your wife. It is not just a simple ceremony for JWs.
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trybalance
Woooo! Boy I did'nt expect all this so quick. Thank you for trying to answer me. I will check back later to read the rest. From here though it seems that you guys are trying to sell me on the anger attitude thing. I can understand the hurt and all but I can't live my life with all this attutude. Thank you but I guess I got my answer. I want to live with my wife whether she is a witness or not. I hate to say it but if this religion thing gets in the way- well I'll move on to greener pasture. Life is to short for me to want to hate so much. I've been hurt real bad before by a bunch of people but I move on. Hell I've got a grown son that I have'nt seen since he was 7. Ugly divorce. I moved forward. Tried to see him. Fought it out in court and all the rest. Next thing you know 12 years of my life is gone and where was I? Her family had the bucks and I was broke. People can be ugly and pin all sorts of stuff on you. Hate it about my son but thats the way it went. Can't blame god or satan or religion. One day I'll be grey headed and old. Don't want to waste my life on this thing. Thanks for answering though.
A lot of buttons her to figure out.
Wanted to add that I told them at the kingdom hall that I did not believe all the stuff they teach. They tried to explain their way of seeing things but I just was honest with them and they left me alone.
Edited by - trybalance on 14 October 2002 1:31:57
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StinkyPantz
By the way, welcome to the board and I hope we don't scare you off
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UnDisfellowshipped
TryBalance,
You don't need to regret asking questions on this Website.
In fact, that is one of the things which is really bad that the Watchtower does.
Once you get Baptized, they do not want you asking questions anymore. If you ask too many questions, the Elders will get very suspicious of you, and think that you are an Apostate, Anti-Christ, Liar, who is working for Satan.
Also, I am worried about your JW family members.
Have you ever thought about this scenario?
What if your wife is in an accident, and she needs a Blood Transfusion to save her life, and there are NO non-Blood Alternative Medicines to use, what happens?
If your wife decides to go along with the JW's Teachings, she will most likely die for refusing the Blood Transfusion.
However, if she does accept the Blood Transfusion, and it saves her life, the JW's will tell her that she Broke Jehovah's Law and she will most likely be Disfellowshipped (Expelled) from the JW's, and her JW friends will no longer even say "Hello" to her, and anyone who does say "Hello" to her could also be Disfellowshipped for talking to a Disfellowshipped person.
She will also be told that if Armageddon comes while she is Disfellowshipped, God will DESTROY her!
Isn't this a loving Christian Religion?
Please, all I ask is, that you ask your Elders about the Blood Policy and also please ask them about their Child Sexual Abuse Policy.
You said:
I was born into a penacostal family. When my wife started the kingdom hall thing I went along for the ride. I thought well at least these people are'nt rolling on the floor. But even in our little penacostal church we had some people that were'nt nice. Things did'nt always go right. But hell, thats life.
I agree, I think the "Holy Rollers" are a False Religion also.
Had a guy down the street that got in trouble for having sex with his little niece but that did'nt ruin our neighborhood if you see what I mean.
Yes, but did your local Church Leaders try to cover that up and protect the molester from going to jail? Did your local Church Leaders Expel the Child for telling friends or the Police about the molester? I sure hope not, because that is what the Watchtower Society does, in fact, you can Call the Watchtower Society Bethel Headquarters and ask them about their Child Abuse Policy.
Also, though, are you thinking about the VICTIM? It very well could have RUINED the VICTIM'S LIFE.
Anyway it took me a long time to just ask this question and now I will probably regret it.
I have a lot of Christian love for you and your family, and I hope and pray that you will stick around on this Website for a while, and just do some research into the Blood Transfusion Policy, Child Abuse Policy, and the Disfellowshipping Policy.
I can't speak for everyone on this Website, but the reason why I am here, is that I am trying to help keep people from joining the Watchtower Society and suffering the pain that I and several others have in that Cult.
There are at the very least 5,000 VICTIMS OF CHILD ABUSE (CHILDREN) who have been punished by the Elders, while their molesters go free in the Congregations.
In fact, do you know if there are any molesters in your Kingdom Hall? How would you know? Do your Elders warn anyone if there are molesters?
Same questions for Murderers and Rapists.
May Jehovah God and Jesus Christ open your eyes and give you peace.
Edited by - UnDisfellowshipped on 14 October 2002 1:36:9
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WildHorses
((((((((((((((trybalance)))))))))))))))) I'm so sorry about your son. I know what it's like being seperated from a child. My first born was taken by his father to Mexico when we seperated. He was 18 months old at the time. I was neive and believed him when he said he only wanted his parents to meet their grandson. A suposed two month visit turned into four years. I tried everything to get my son back. I even spoke to congressman Bill Coby asking if therwe was anything he could help me with. I was told there was nothing I could do because neither of us had custody.
I ended up going back with his father only so I could get my son back. I even tried to make it work between us so that my son would have both of us. It didn't work and his father began being abusive, so after a year of trying, I gave up and left him again, but this time made sure he wouldn't get my son. You know what? After his taking my son away from me and not allowing me to see him all that time, he hasn't even tried to see his son now in more than 11 years!
Shari
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trybalance
You guys keep asking me all these questions. About the blood thing. My wife is a grown woman. I respect her right to choose what she wants to do. If she had cancer and decided not to do the chemo thing I would try to talk to her but hey it is her body and her life. You can bet I will take the blood for myself. People die every day. Some are senseless deaths and few are wanted deaths. Like I said if this religion thing gets in the way of my marriage greener pasture is out there. At 37 I know that I get over it and move on. If the church don't report the child sex thing? Well I blame the parent not the church. I saw on here that there is a guy traveling around giving out stuffed lambs. I also saw where people got beat up for saying something about him. I'll leave that one alone.
I saw another site where a guy said the watchtower tried to kill his daughter. My eyes lit up real big until I read the story. Seems the guy was a witness and his daughter got sick. He decided to let her have the blood anyway. She died anyway. Then after all these years he's still trying to blame the watchtower for his daighters death. Like I said there is a lot of attitude here that even though I read the stories I have to wonder why people don't move on. It's kind of like they like the anger. Any ugly things that happened in my life I always wanted to move on and get happy. Here it seems that eveyone wants to keep eating away at this stuff and keep each other fueled up over it. Just seems like a waste to me and it is rather ugly you got to admit. If you got out of something you hated so much why keep thriving on it? Why the attitude?