not my enemy

by teejay 53 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  teejay

  Following on the heels of what Bowen said about Ray, I began to see a statement that real soon began to get under my skin. I've read it several times since and I hafta say: that little irritant is beginning to fester more than I care for.

  The statement was something in the neighborhood of,

  "Let's not get side-tracked with this Franz / Bowen fiasco and remember who our REAL enemy is... the Watchtower Society!"

  Well... if I wasn't a pariah already what I'm about to pen is sure to put me in even rarer company than where I already was. I'm here to tell you...

  ... the Watchtower Society ain't my enemy.

  Yeah, my mother "found the Truth(tm) / Jehovah's People(tm)" when I was a little boy. At five going on six, I was even more clueless back then than I am now (if you can wrap your mind around *that* idea). I had no frame of reference with which to compare the JW "truth," so I bought it all. I was a believer and remained a believer for the next thirty years.

  It wasn't until I was in my mid-thirties before the lights started to flicker on in what little mind I have. By then, any chance of reaching my potential in this life was gone and I knew it. No college, no highschool sports or glee club or student government or band or even hanging out with classmates and other neighborhood kids. They were "worldly" you know. Beneath me. Beneath us. But... y'all already know everything I missed. Y'all lived thru it, too.

  Still....

  ... the Watchtower Society is no more my enemy than my mother is. If I wanted to blame somebody, I'd blame Mamma and I think I could make a pretty damn good case. After all, it was her dumb, god-oriented, "religious" ass that led her to deprive her six kids of holidays, birthday parties, school functions, and a college education that we all surely could have gotten without her having to spend a dime.

  Should I blame my Mamma? Is she my enemy?

  Or...

  ... if I wanted to, I'd blame Daddy who didn't have it in him to deal with what he had to deal with back then in the South... being a Black man and all, strugglin' like he had to struggle with six kids and a wife that never really heard him. I wish, good god I wish, that he woulda hung around... for his kids, if for no other reason. If he had, I have no doubt that he could have and would have counter-balanced my Mamma's religion and gave all us kids -- HIS kids -- a chance. I make a solemn promise: -- as long as I have breath, it's what I hope to do for mine.

  Should I blame Daddy? Is he my enemy?

  Now that I think about it and as much as I hate to admit it -- I could be the fallguy.

  Why did I never question? And, in the half-dozen times when I did have those nagging type questions that there was never a wt article about, why didn't I follow those questionings and do research in the encyclopedias that I always liked to read?

  Yeah, when I was in grade school I had an excuse. But then I became a teen-ager, supposedly a point in a person's life where they begin to settle into their own. Why didn't I? Even worse... I got older. I became a "man." Even then, I followed the gb like a bull with a ring in his nose. A bull -- with the strength to at least tug at the leash. I never did. Not until I was way past thirty.

  So, should I blame me? Am I my enemy?

  .

  Yeah.

  When I think about it, the more I think about it -- the Watchtower Society ain't my enemy. I'm looking for that bastard, though. Been looking for almost ten years. I promise you...

  ... when I find him, I'm gonna kick his ass.
• 

  MrMoe

  Damn good post Teejay.
• 

  Shutterbug

  That was excellent Teejay. Except for the black part you wrote the story of my life. When we were children we could blame our parents, now that we are adults we need to take responsibility for ourselves. Seems you have done just that, at a much younger age than me. Thanks for this post.
• 

  pettygrudger

  Hit the nail on the head w/me - good job.

  When I finally realized the only person holding me back was me, things became alot clearer. Once a person reaches adulthood, they are responsible for their own destiny.

  And teejay - I highly doubt you are still unable to meet your full potential. My dad went back to college at the tender age of 52 to become a teacher.....he was 1 semester away from graduation when GM called him back from early retirement. You can still be all you want to be.
• 

  breeze

  Teejay...

  I get very tired of the bashing of the Org continuously.

  I like the way you reason and I am sure the dumb dubs are not my enemy either?
• 

  larc

  Teejay, I thought that was a most excellent essay. The question comes up often on a lot of issues as to is to who is to blame. I have come to a conclusion, which I think is similiar to yours. Life is complex, and in some ways, no one person, event or factor is to blame. I know you have read my essays on Groupthink, Determinism, Social Influence, Self Esteem and others. All of the research on these and other subjects about our species makes me very humble when it comes to the myriad of variables that affect us, and how little control we have over our fate. In your case, the light came on when you were in your mid 30's. For me, it started to come on about 15 years earlier in life. Does that make me a more insightful man than you? No, it makes me a more lucky man. It was a chance encounter with a young man about my age that knew things about the JW history that I did not. That chance encounter and our discussion is what got me thinking.
• 

  Buster

  Well written Teejay. I agree to a large extent.

  But I consider the WT an enemy, I think of the hold it still has on what should have been lifelong friends. But in line with your post, and it sounds reasonable to me, that my friends are at fault - being adults and all.

  More to the point: If you personally knew JW victims of JW abuse, you would be singing another tune - I feel certain. Yeah, anyone can say that, 'it is terrible though it happens everywhere.' But the tragedy is when an organization provides the fertile grounds, promotes conditions for abuse, and worst of all, treats the vicitm as though she (usually) is guilty of something. I have seen it. Her dear old daddy gets a tap on the wrist, and she is admonished to forgive and forget (not go to the police). This treatment of a victim is often as traumatic as the original abuse.

  Again, I have seen it. These are innocent children. And the WTS is the enemy.
• 

  AlanF

  What Ray Franz has said is so true: Most JWs are victims of victims.

  That applies to much of the rank and file, and even to some JW leaders. Most of us bought into the system at one time; otherwise we wouldn't have become JWs. Of course, those of us who were raised in the cult were carefully isolated from 'negative' information and so we never knew anything different.

  Nevertheless, there is still a good deal of personal responsibility to go around. Most of us, like me, faced a crisis of faith at times and we usually decdied in favor of not rocking the boat, and of remaining JWs. Finally our crisis could no longer be ignored, and we found ourselves unable to continue in what we knew for a long time was a lie. In the meantime, we often submerged our misgivings -- even from ourselves -- so as to retain the illusion that the lies were truth. But deep down, we still knew about the lies.

  This is such a good illustration of how Orwellian thought processes permeate the JW community. One knows the truth, in a certain way. But one also denies it and deliberately forgets the fact that one has denied it. This requires, as George Orwell wrote in Nineteen Eighty-Four, an amazing amount of control over one's thought processes. Orwell described these kinds of mental gymnastics:

  A Party member is required to have not only the right opinions, but the right instincts. Many of the beliefs and attitudes demanded of him are never plainly stated, and could not be stated without laying bare the contradictions inherent in Ingsoc. If he is a person naturally orthodox (in Newspeak a goodthinker), he will in all circumstances know, without taking thought, what is the true belief or the desirable emotion. But in any case an elaborate mental training, undergone in childhood and grouping itself round the Newspeak words crimestop, blackwhite, and doublethink, makes him unwilling and unable to think too deeply on any subject whatever.

  . . . The first and simplest stage in the discipline, which can be taught even to young children, is called, in Newspeak, crimestop. Crimestop means the faculty of stopping short, as though by instinct, at the threshold of any dangerous thought. It includes the power of not grasping analogies, of failing to perceive logical errors, of misunderstanding the simplest arguments if they are inimical to Ingsoc, and of being bored or repelled by any train of thought which is capable of leading in a heretical direction. Crimestop, in short, means protective stupidity. But stupidity is not enough. On the contrary, orthodoxy in the full sense demands a control over one's own mental processes as complete as that of a contortionist over his body. [Part 2, Ch. IX; pp. 212-13 hardcover; pp. 174-5 paperback]

  Did we fall victim to doublethink and crimestop? Certainly! And for a time, willingly. It was our responsibility.

  But it was also the responsibility -- and remains the responsibility -- of the men who were our leaders. Those of them who were and remain victims of victims may do so somewhat innocently, but not completely innocently. Especially today, when so much solid information has come out proving that so many JW teachings are nonsense and so many JW practices are unethical and even border on the criminal, there is little excuse left for those leaders.

  Of course, those leaders, and all JWs, for that matter, are still subject to harsh sanctions by the JW organization if they quit the religion and talk about it. That is pure blackmail. That is why so many of us -- me included -- failed to act on our suspicions and our knowledge. When we finally did, we were seething with resentment about being lied to.

  We all bear some responsibility for our actions. But the men who were our leaders -- the men we believed when they told us they spoke for God -- bear far more responsibility. And because they know better, and have known better for a long time, they are most certainly to blame for much of the unpleasant predicament of JWs and ex-JWs today.

  AlanF
• 

  DannyBear

  Tj,

  Since one of the dictionary definitions is "Something destructive or injurious in its effects", I have to qualify your good sentiments with this;

  The doctines of Jehovah's Witness cause(d) injury to you, me and our entire families associated. We and those still practicing this religion, have suffered deep scars, both mentaly and physical. Some paying the full price of sacrificing thier very lives for its tenents.

  Your case is well stated when reflecting on individuals within the cult. But I must say the WTBS and all it's tentacles, reaching out world wide, fits perfectly with any enemy I can imagine and despise.

  Almost like a criminal who performs 'house invasions', this relgion is every day, stealing family member's, resources, inheritances, love for ones on flesh and blood. How can I not consider these acts of terror.....not eminating from an enemy?

  But the spirit of personal responsibility, accepting our own complicity in the matter is good to think about.

  Danny
• 

  Solace

  TJ,

  I know what you are trying to say but I dont feel the same.

  Although I am not the type to carry grudges, I just cant get over the fact that my grandfather wouldnt have died if it werent for the WTS blood doctrine. I have to say I consider the society an enemy, not a friend.