by teejay 53 Replies latest jw friends
i saw or heard a quote somewhere recently:
to make a person your enemy
is to keep them in your life.
(or sumfin like dat).
To say the WT isn't to blame in a big way is nuts.Who's saying that?
SPAZnik,
Some of us who have been out for many years (22 in my case) are almost forced to "keep them in your life", due to family members.
Yes it would be nice to walk away from jwdom with complete abandon, but the reality of this incidious religion's dogma, holds you captive. That is what I was refering to as regards the tentacles it spreads.
Happiness is a relative term, Iam happy, but I could be a hell of alot happier, if my daughter's and other family member's were free from Wt tyranny!!!!
Danny
The WT corp, the JW religion, is very much my enemy. I would have to do some kind of mental gymnastics to feel otherwise, and until they are completely eliminated or emasculated, I don't want to be happy with the way-things-are.
My mother, on the other hand, is one of the most purely reasonable, stay-out-of-other's-business, people I know. She is also a totally brainwashed victim of the JW religion; yes it's an odd dichotomy. It is a balancing act to keep my love (for her) in the forefront and my anger (at the problems caused me by her choices) subdued, but I don't feel like I'm doing mental gymnastics by doing so.
I suppose if my attitudes towards either where affecting my ability to be happy, or show love to those I love, then it would be time to rethink. But even then, I'm not sure it would make sense to lose sight of who your enemy is.
Dannybear
Happiness is a relative term, Iam happy, but I could be a hell of alot happier, if my daughter's and other family member's were free from Wt tyranny!!!!
Good point.
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SixofNine
I don't want to be happy with the way-things-are.
Well put. Again with the choice thing. I guess we pick our battles and choose our enemies, most times (unless of course they pick us).
But even then, I'm not sure it would make sense to lose sight of who your enemy is.
you are probly right. damn u.
but i hate politics and war and enemies and battles. it's all eeeeeevil & hurtful & manipulative. hmph.
SPAZ (of the better-lover-than-fighter klass)
I can't agree that the Watchtower ruined my life. To do so would give my own power away. I left when I was 26 years old, I could have left maybe 7 or 8 years earlier if we are being realistic about what age bring us these choices.
Besides, I am forever an optimist, and will always try to make some good out of the bad. the WT taught me how to speak in public, so I can easily find work again as a sales trainer if I am so inclined.
..It totally buggered up my sex life as a young man though!
Englishman. Steamy windows specialist.
I agree to some extent with TJ.
But more thoroughly with Reborn (Hi Jason!!! )
They are my enemy. They still affect my daily dealings with my family. Anyone that comes between myself and someone I love, by definition, is my enemy.
Lisa
Excellent post Teejay!!! But I have very mixed emotions at this point- I am the Mother, Grandmother,Great grandmother who taught my kids "THIS IS TRUTH" How I regret that now.
Dear friends tell me." Your not to blame Grace!" But that doesnt help me I feel SO GUILTY!!!!!
Please let me say I am sorry !!!!for ALL your Mothers fathers, Whoever took you into the darkness.
When they leave it.... As I pray they will!!! It will be the millstone round their neck for as long as they live.......I know so many quote Romans 8:1 but truthfully it doesnt take away my pain for those who I ruined.
The saying we were victims of victims in my OP is true, but I should NOT have allowed myself to be one.
The WT is an idol........I worshipped & threw my children into their fire......
Mouthy,
The saying we were victims of victims in my OP is true, but I should NOT have allowed myself to be one.The WT is an idol........I worshipped & threw my children into their fire......
It pains me to read what you wrote above. Please, please don't feel that way.
This is life no? Many parents who have loved their children dearly and cared for them as best they could with the best intentions and honesty of heart, have made mistakes. We all make mistakes and no parent is without fault in some way. Neither will our children be perfect parents, they will make honest mistakes and go down the wrong road at times but what else is there to do but what to us seems the right and loving thing at the time?
Please don't berate yourself over this. Look around at all the children who have parents that do not love them and do not care for them. You did what you believed at the time was the very best thing for your children and grandchildren. So many other children in the world would love to have a loving mother or grandmother, someone who loves them enough to want what is best for them and to help them find their way in life.
Mistakes are a part of everyone's life, but love is not.
IW
Mouthy,
IslandWoman is speaking the truth. I've been an eyewitness of the love you have long had for your family. It was that love that motivated you to lead them to the JWs. If the JWs had told you the truth from the beginning, then possibly you would have been without excuse. But they never did. The WT lied and lied and lied. The Society was like a doctor who says you've got to take this medicine if you want to stay alive and have a better life but who has actually prescribed small daily doses of deadly poison.
Doctors can be misguided, and I believe the leadership of JWs is misguided. Still, the blame belongs at their doorstep. They sat down on Christ's judgment seat and took possession of our lives without any divine authorization. True, we let them, but how were we to know? No one else came along with convincing evidence that we had made a mistake.
I was only 8 when my mother took me into JWs. I spent most of my life under that delusion that she led me into. Now I'm an "old" man. But I still love my mother, even more so now that I have time to reflect upon what family life is all about and how worthy our mothers are of our love and deep respect.
My mother is still a JW and won't speak to me. That hurts, but there's nothing to forgive. She's innocent. It's the WT Society that put up that wall between her and me. What she did for me all my life as a mother more than compensates for any hurt I sometimes feel. I pray along with you that your kids will someday leave the borg. I tend to think that if and when they do, their feelings toward you will be very similar to those I have for my mom.
I "converted" scores of people to become JWs. I regret that too. But at the time I was under the impression that I was doing the best thing in the world for them. I did it because I loved them and wanted the best for them. I don't think you or I deserve to be berated for that.
Think, too, about what a wonderful "mother" you've been to many of us who left JWs. What would have happened to me after I left the borg if it wasn't for you and a handful of others who took me under your wings. I dread the thought. For a brief period I thought I had made the biggest mistake of my life and that I ought to go back. I met some real religious screwballs on the outside of the borg. But then you and other friendly and concerned people came into my life and everything was all better. I will never forget that.
fjtoth
((((((((((((Grace)))))))))))))
Please don't beat yourself up okay? You have done your best along the way and you were doing what you felt was right based on one of the strongest belief systems there is. You were taught that and there is no shame in that. What you were taught was a very powerful thing, with guilt being at the very core of it's conditioning. Although a very natural reaction, guilt you deal with now will only serve to eat you up inside and steal some of the rest of your life. Not an easy thing to shake though, but more by little bits and pieces here and there. You are and have been such a positive influence on the lives of others, as is evidenced right here in this thread.
XW
