I know the Bible is True

by SwedishChef 116 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Farkel
    Farkel

    Since Swedish Chef has not a single counter-argument, it resorts to name-calling:

    : Farkel, I can tell you right now: your mother did a terrible job raising you.

    You have no arguments. Therefore my mother is a witch and I was raised wrong. Well, THAT makes perfect sense.

    : Your rude, ignorant, spiteful, and hateful.

    Yeah? What about my arguments? NONE of which you bothered to address. I had a bunch.

    : It would do you some good to learn some respect...,

    I have no respect for blowhards that cannot prove what they preach. That means YOU, bubba.

    ...manners,

    I don't need to show any manners for assholes who vilify my own mother without ever knowing her, fuckweed.

    ...and humility.

    You mean humility as in the way YOU display it? No thank you. I'd rather have colon cancer and herpes.

    : Most of all, you need the love of Christ in your life.

    So I can be like YOU? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Toss in syphilus for good measure. I'd rather have that too than be like you.

    : John 3:16 "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life."

    1st Farkel 9:12: "For Farkel so loved his fellow humans, he put up with intolerable assholes and tried to reason with them until he realized they would always be intolerable assholes."

    My holy words are just as good as your holy words, and if you don't like them, I have other holy words.

    2 Peter 3:3-5b "...there shall come in the last days scoffers, walking after their own lusts, And saying, Where is the promise of his coming? for since the fathers fell asleep, all things continue as they were from the beginning of the creation. For this they willingly are ignorant..."

    2 Peter 3:3-5 is a very revealing verse, and it was written to comfort the idiots who still continue to believe crap that hasn't happened all these 2,000 years later. It is the perfect Cult verse: "hang on forever. Maybe SOME day this stuff will happen." Well, 2,000 years is beyond my attention span and it is beyond any reasonable person's attention span. That's over SIXTY generations of people, Swedish Chef! Jesus said "THIS" generation would NOT pass away until all these things he said would happen, happened. Now we are SIXTY generations down the road and nothing has happened.

    Let me put this in perspective for you, Swedish Chef: The people who believed that THIS generation would not pass away until Jesus' words were fulfilled are the great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great,great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great,great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great,great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great,great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandparents of people like you who still believe that crap.

    Jesus lied, or at least those who wrote about what Jesus said lied. Either way, the Bible cannot be trusted.

    So take your "humility" and preach to someone stupid. I'm not stupid.

    Farkel

  • seedy3
    seedy3

    William Penwell wrote

    The best comparison to the fundie christian belief I have ever read!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "Kiss Hank's ass and you get a million" LMAO!!!

    William, that one is going in my files, and I may just frame a copy of it and put it on my wall.

    SwedishChef,

    The problem is, most of us here have done the research, and it seems you have not. The stories that you hold so dear in the bible are just more ancient stories from other religions and cultures. Even the story of Job, has it's basis in Hindu stories. The flood was from Sumer/Chaldeian. The exodus is based from the Canaanites/Hykosis. Abram and his stories are based in Sumerian/Canaanite stories. They are all much older then what you think, and had no basis or anything to do with the Hapiru (Hebrews). Even your God of the OT is based in Canaanite mythology, the Hebrews just adopted it.

    But in reality, if you chose to beleive in mythology, it's ok with me and I'm sure most everyone here. I just don't buy it, and never will, but perhaps Hank will kick my ass for not, kissing his, err I mean maybe god will punish me for not worshiping him, but that is the chance I will take, and deal with it later.

    Seedy

    Edited by - seedy3 on 4 December 2002 22:36:48

  • SwedishChef
    SwedishChef

    My Savior's Love

    I stand amazed in the presence of Jesus the Nazarene, And wonder how He could love me, A sinner condemned, unclean.
    How marvelous! how wonderful! And my song shall ever be: Oh how marvelous! Oh how wonderful, Is my Savior's love for me!
    For me it was in the garden, He prayed, "Not my will but thine;" He had no tears for His own griefs but sweat-drops of blood for mine.
    He took my sins and my sorrows, He made them His very own; He bore the burden to Calv'ry, And suffered and died alone.
    When with the ransomed in glory His face I at last shall see, 'Twill be my joy thru the ages to sing of His love for me.
    How marvelous! how wonderful! And my song shall ever be: Oh how marvelous! Oh how wonderful, Is my Savior's love for me!

  • expatbrit
    expatbrit

    The above to be sung to the tune of "Do you think I'm sexy?", by Rod Stewart.

    Expatbrit

  • Farkel
    Farkel

    When dazed and bashed by the facts, Swedish Chef starts talking to itself:

    : I stand amazed in the presence of Jesus the Nazarene, And wonder how He could love me, A sinner condemned, unclean.
    : How marvelous! how wonderful! And my song shall ever be: Oh how marvelous! Oh how wonderful, Is my Savior's love for me!
    : For me it was in the garden, He prayed, "Not my will but thine;" He had no tears for His own griefs but sweat-drops of blood for mine.
    : He took my sins and my sorrows, He made them His very own; He bore the burden to Calv'ry, And suffered and died alone.
    : When with the ransomed in glory His face I at last shall see, 'Twill be my joy thru the ages to sing of His love for me.
    : How marvelous! how wonderful! And my song shall ever be: Oh how marvelous! Oh how wonderful, Is my Savior's love for me!

    Of course, this addresses NO arguments, but just serves to make you feel good and put your head in the sand to hide the noise and the facts that you are unwilling to face.

    Farkel

  • Valis
    Valis

    Farkel, have you ever had alligator sausage, bell peppers, and goat cheese on your pizza? It is my absolute favorite.

    Sincerely,

    District Overbeer

  • Farkel
    Farkel

    Valis,

    I'm a nice guy. Really. I just don't tolerate fools. But you know this. SwedishChef is a fool and I've shown it why.

    It attacked my own MOTHER! I never attacked its mother nor any of its relatives. I attacked its arguments and it came back (without addressing a SINGLE argument I made) and attacked my family! It is so full of rage and hate towards those who disagree with it that it will stop to nothing in its hate. But it preaches "LOVE." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! What hypocricy! Sounds like Muslim Al Quada fundies to me. What's the difference?

    Pass the alligator meat, please. I'm hungry.

    Farkel

  • SwedishChef
    SwedishChef

    Farkel, I was just making an observation. I apologize for bringing your mother into this. Sometimes it's just not the parent's fault if the child turns out to be so rotten.

  • Analysis
    Analysis

    SwedishChef
    Are you also known as Zechariah?

  • SwedishChef
    SwedishChef

    Analysis, what is that supposed to mean?

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