Myself, I have a masters degree in the art of wrapping gifts. I spent 7 years as a young dub teenager working in a jewellery / gift shop complimenting ladies on their choice of clothing while draping necklaces around their necks and , yes, wrapping presents while smiling sweetly and being very polite. I actually had to comb my hair every day in that job. Can you believe that?
I Suck
by Xena 34 Replies latest jw friends
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Xena
Curses on the WT for screwing up another aspect of our lives! Turning us into inept wrappers.....causing people to stare in horror at what we have done with Christmas wrapping paper and ribbon!
For those of you that have overcome this, I commend and envy you! The rest of us stand back and gaze in awe at the masterpieces you create....a beautifully wrapped package is the ultimate gift to tear into...oh sure you start out slow...but then something comes over you and you rip and tear and rip and tear till you are surrounded with piles of paper and sticky with tape...oh but so satisfied with the havoc you have wreaked...*cough* or is that just me????
Now on to other matters...
PRISCA.....I am shocked, appalled and uuummm a little intrigued lol and one of these day I am gonna put your card in the mail...so if you don't get it till Easter...hey remember it is the THOUGHT that counts!
Bikerchic I must say your spirit of perserverance is a shining example to us all.....and I am sure a major source of fun to ona!!!
Brummie sweetie you caught me out.....course it might also help if you would like you know give me an address to mail it to...I swear the rumors of me stalking other posters are gravely exaggerated....
BTW gentlemen.....in case anyone is wondering what to get me....Diamonds ARE a girls best friend...and the jewellery stores do wrap for you as refiners can attest to...
Xena of the Baggin' it Class
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animal
I havent wrapped many presents since I got married.. she enjoys doing it and I let her. My only job is putting up the lights, and since I traveled a lot over the past 5 years, my son has picked up that job.
By the way.... we are hoping to put up a webcam for our xmas morning so others can watch us from the east coast..... we did this for a few years and it worked well.
Animal
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CC Ryder
To all those who can't wrap their gifts...
I'm an excellent gift wrapper....send them to me...I'll wrap them for you!...=;-)>
CC
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Xena
A friendly fellow poster sent this to me and gave me permission to post it....a very kind attempt to help me overcome my wrapping impairment!
1. Clear large space on table for wrapping present.
2. Go to wardrobe and collect bag in which present is contained, and close
door.
3. Open door and remove cat from wardrobe.
4. Go to cupboard and retrieve rolls of wrapping paper.
5. Go back and remove cat from cupboard.
6. Go to drawer, and collect transparent sticky tape, ribbons, scissors
labels etc.
7. Lay out presents and wrapping materials on table, to enable wrapping
strategy to be formed.
8. Go back to drawer to get string, remove cat that has been in the drawer
since last visit and collect string.
9. Reopen drawer and re-remove cat.
10. Remove present from bag.
11. Remove cat from bag.
12. Open box to check present, remove cat from box, replace present.
13. Lay out paper to enable cutting to size,
14. Try and smooth out paper, realize cat is underneath and remove cat.
15. Cut the paper to size, trying to keep the cutting line straight.
16. Throw away first sheet as cat tried to chase the scissors, and tore
paper.
17. Cut second sheet of paper to size. By putting cat in the bag the present
came out of.
18. Place present on cut to size paper
19. Lift up edges of paper to seal in present, wonder why edges now don't
reach, and realize cat is between present and paper. Remove cat and retry.
20. Place object on paper, to hold in place, while cutting transparent
sticky tape.
21. Spend next 20 minutes carefully trying to remove transparent sticky tape
from cat with pair of nail scissors.
22. Seal paper down, with transparent sticky tape, making corners as neat as
possible.
23. Look for roll of ribbon, chase cat down hall, in order to retrieve
ribbon.
24. Try to wrap present with ribbon in a two directional turn.
25. Re-roll up ribbon and remove paper that is now torn, due to cat's
enthusiasm to chase ribbon end.
26. Repeat steps 13-20 until down to last sheet of paper.
27. Decide to skip steps 13-17, in order to save time and reduce risk of
loosing last sheet of paper. By retrieving old cardboard box, that you know
is right size for sheet of paper.
28. Put present in box, and tie down with string.
29. Remove string, open box and remove cat.
30. Put all packing materials in bag with present and head for lock able
room.
31. Once inside room, lock door and start to re-lay out packing materials.
32. Remove cat from box, unlock door, put cat outside door, close door and
re-lock.
33. Repeat previous step as often as is necessary. Until you can hear the
cries from the cat outside the door.
34. Lay out last sheet of paper. (I know this is difficult in the small area
of the toilet. But try your best)
35. Realize cat has already got to the paper. Unlock door go out and hunt
through various cupboards, looking for sheet of last years paper, until you
remember that you haven't got any left, due to cats help with wrapping last
year.
36. Retire back to room lock door, and sit on toilet whilst trying to work
out how to make torn sheet of paper look halfway presentable.
37. Seal box, wrap with paper and start repairs by very carefully seal down
tears with transparent sticky tape. Now tie up with ribbon and decorate with
bows to hide worst effected areas.
38. Label, then sit back and admire your handiwork, congratulating yourself
on making good of a bad job.
39. Unlock door, and go to kitchen to make drink and feed cat.
40. Spend next 15 minuets looking for cat, before coming to obvious
conclusion.
41. Unwrap present, untie box and remove cat.
42. Retrieve all thrown away sheets of wrapping paper, feed cat and retire
back to room for last attempt, making certain you are alone and the door is
locked.
43. Find least torn and wrinkled sheets of paper, along with the ones that
the pattern matches closet.
44. Vainly try and wrap present in patchwork of paper. Tie with the now
tattered ribbon and decorate with the now limp bows. Label and put present
in bag, for fear of anyone seeing this disaster.
45. At time of handing over present, smile sweetly at receivers face, as
they try and hide their contempt at being handed such a badly wrapped
present.
46. Swear to yourself that next year, you will get the store to wrap the
darn thing for you.