I did a search on Google with the same key words. All I got were stories of how people were shunned... but nothing about recovery.
Hi (((elsewhere))),
Personally, for me anyway, I realized the recovery process is very much like any other recovery process when betrayed by those closest to you, especially when it involves someone youre supposed to be emotionally safe and secure with. When a mother or father turns their back on you and dismisses you as, not even a member of your own family anymore, the void it opens up is incomprehensible even when it becomes a part of you life.
My life has been full of betrayal. All kinds. But the one thing that seemed to be "the norm" in all cases was "anger" and depending on how a "particular act of betrayal" affected me emotionally, regardless of how it affected me physically, had a lot to do with how long I was angry or bitter about it.
Being shunned by people you "know" or neighbors or even internet personalities wouldn't, or shouldn't, have the emotional impact on us as being shunned by those who are a part of, not only our identity but, our history and even our future. It isn't natural for entire families to turn their backs on one of their own for anything less then committing some reprehensible act against another. When a person is "disowned" by his/her "loved one" brothers/sisters/parents for committing the crime of smoking or even "thinking" how can there be another way to deal with it other then anger?
The severity of the "shunning" and what the exact reasons for it are, probably have a major baring on how long we feel angry before we find the right place to move on to some other emotion.
I was very angry about some things more so then others for years. I was hurt for probably a lot more years then I was angry. I was angry with my dad for at least 25 years, and prior to that I was hurt as far back as I can remember. I only let go of that particular case of angry and pissed about 2 years ago. So I carried that around for the majority of my life. I wish I could go back and unload it sooner, but I can't.
I have a hard time believing anyone ever really heals from that. I think we just eventually find a fitting place to file it away so it doesnt drag us down. I do believe that we recover from the anger though, hopefully when we no longer need it.
wednesday
I awoke this am lying in my bed, thinking of how many people i actually knew and could call, or who would come to my funeral.
I've done that. I hate it when I have thoughts about death. I've even had the thought of...what if I died, perhaps 10 years from now, and my kids lived far away? Would who ever found me notify them? Or would the city just scoop me up and dispose of me, my kids not knowing I was even gone for weeks or months? I think about the masses of people in my life that have come and gone, many of them I thought would always be there and now I have a hard time remembering many of their names it's been so long since Ive seen or heard from them. I've been to a lot of funerals. Out of all of the funerals I've attended, more then I can count right now, I don't know that any of them would attend mine if they were alive. I would guess about 1 out of every 10. Lets see I've probably attended at least 25 funerals in my life so 2 1/2 people would probably show up at mine. HAhahahahaha. The grave diggers! LOL!
I'll make a deal with you. I'll go to your funeral if you go to mine.
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