Would You Marry A Person Of A Different Race? (page 3)

Introspection

You will be assimilated. Your biological and technological distinctness will be added to our own.

i would probably no be drawn to someone who's habits and culture were extremely different then mine. for example ,I'm caucasian, raised in working class home. I noticed i did not used to understand a lot of the sit coms , and now i know why. They were for the white collar person. I did not understand the humor ,or a lot of the situations. I would have found "friends " hard to relate to had i not gone to college and had a mixture of associates at the KH Once while in college (to get myself out of the wroking class )I took a developmental psychology class .There was a book written by someone who thought it odd and of note, that in poor people, the older kids often had to raise the younger. He thought this was so unheard of , well he thought he'd do a book on it. i did a paper on it, and had my psychology teacher laughing hysterically.

b/c i asked what planet this man lived on? As a poor working class person, i had alawys seen this "unusual occurence' and wondered why anyone thought it necessary to write a book on it. We had a nice laugh. BUT U SEE ,IT GAVE AWAY MY CLASS, CULTURE. Note, it is note done as much today, b/c people don't have 5-9 kids anymore.

I have notived that it is hard for a woman to marry "up" as they say. Unless she is very attractive-then that is very possible. Men do often marry "up" especially among JW b/c of the limited supply of men.

A lot of times these marriges do not work b/c as u age, well i have noticed I have become set in my ways and would not care to adapt to new things. Also, some things just do not appeal to me. I have on more thant one occasion worked with Nigerian women. I do not like to, b/c they are loud and bossy. They will tell u they are, and it is part of their culture. I once told one of them, "i don't

care what is ok in Nigeria, over here if u are loud and bossy, be prepared for the consequneces"

I once worked with a hispanic man who would never have dreamed of "cheating' on his wife, but he said it is common in their culture to go to prostitutes.He said common as in-they expect the wife to be ok with it. Now i know a lot of males may do this, but most do not expect their wifes to be ok with it.

while u are young, it is easier to adapt to different cultures. i have noticed i have less ability to adapt as i get older. i want a person that i have soemthing in common with for my marriage partner.

Strange enough, during the course of therapy, i have 'changed classes" as my doc told me. I now have more in commom with wihite middle america and less with my roots as a poor working class person.

Edited by - wednesday on 16 January 2003 12:5:8

Edited by - wednesday on 16 January 2003 12:5:56

Edited by - wednesday on 16 January 2003 14:6:18

metatron

could this other person look like Halle Berry, Toni Braxton or Kelitta Smith?

hmmmmm.........

metatron

obiwan

Yes no problem, I was engaged to a black sister when I was much younger and also still a jw. I loved her so much that after we were caught doing the nasty I got her away from me as quickly as possible ( the elders thought I was a bad influence ) so she would not be df'd. It worked I was she wasn't....then I find out years later that she got pregnant and was df'd. I personally did not see or feel any difference.

Marcos

Minimus,

You almost always ask the best questions! My hat is off to you. You are a real champion at getting people to discuss things. You get me to thinking about things.

Having said that, I would like to post a couple of comments here and then I am going to post another related thread. Forgive me in advance if it appears that I am copying you but, dammit, you create more questions in my mind. And thanks!

Marcos

Xena

Well at this bitter disillusioned with marriage point in my life I would say I would never marry again no matter WHAT...*cough*...but if I ever get past this....I will marry or have a meaningful relationship with whomever I happen to fall in love with....regardless of race, nationality, culture or possibly even gender

Edited by - Xena on 16 January 2003 13:53:14

Mulan

Don't know for sure. If I was going to have children, it might make a difference. I see many familiar facial and bodily characteristics in my children, and grandkids, that they inherited from my grandparents, and parents, and myself. I really enjoy seeing those similarities too. I think if another race were in the gene pool, that would be less likely. I know that sounds bigoted, and I am really not a bigot. I just have a strong sense of ancestry. Just me.

Having said that, I will add that some of the most physically beautiful people I've ever seen are mixed racially.

At this stage of my life, if I were to be single again, I doubt it would make a difference. As someone else said, you can't control who you fall in love with.

sunshineToo

Sure. I did.

Marcos

Do we confuse race with culture? IS there such a thing as race?

As far as I know, all human beings are genetically compatible. The children of the various races are always fertile (barring certain defects that occur even within the same race). So, is the concept of race no more than normal variations, which will occur when people are separated by time and distance?

For instance one poster, presumably Caucasian, commented that he had married a Latina. I had mentioned in another post that the US Census had ruled that Latino is not a race but a culture since it spans a group that varies from black to white and shades in between. I dont base my life on much of what the actuaries assert to be true but I think the point is valid. An Anglo-Saxon who marries a Latino is not necessarily race-mixing as far as I can see. In Mexico the dominant population is mestizo (mixed indigenous people and Hispanic sometimes with an admixture of black). In countries like Argentina for example the largest number of people are 100% European descent and white. We are all Hispanic.

Hispanic is a culture (with hundreds of regional variants). I think, and I may be wrong but, I believe such things as a distinctive smell relates more to the foods one customarily eats rather than to race. I say this because in my limited experience I have seen this to be true. I lived in Japan for a few years. Among themselves, the Japanese refer to Caucasians as bata kusai, that is in a liberal translation, they stink of butter. American GIs referred to the Japanese girls with whom the cohabited as smelling slightly fishy. But these differences seem to disappear as the person is acclimated to the new culture. I am sure this is true because it was my experience that, even on a crowded train, I would become immediately aware of any recently arrived foreigner because even I could smell them from the other end of the car.

When I return to Mexico after having been out of the country for a time, many people have a slight odor of tortilla. Not kidding. It is not unpleasant, just noticeable. I should say that here, the corn tortilla is the staff of life. In other parts of Mexico, many people also eat flour tortillas. Most people here seldom eat them.

Personally, I believe that all of us have cultural prejudices. It seems to be normal, I see it where I live, I have seen it in Japan, and never failed to notice it in the US. Seems to me that this prejudice, when not carried to an extreme, is what holds cultures and national groups together.

None of my comments should be construed as a slam against anyone who has posted. I simply wonder about how you view the concept of race. Is it really a valid concept or is it more of an arbitrary distinction based more on skin tone?

Marcos (open to learning)

Valis

Happily, if nothing else, the truth taught me to be totally unprejudiced when it comes to race and culture.

*LOL* What congregation did you go to?

Already been there....and if I ever got married again sure...I think all women are beautiful....besides I'm down for 31 flavors..

Sincerely,

Districty Overbeer of the "Baskin Robbins" class

Would You Marry A Person Of A Different Race?

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