Is this a place for children?

by xenawarrior 188 Replies latest jw friends

OUTLAW

Puppet Master? I don`t think so.Simon has treated us all very well.I have never had a problem speaking my mind on this board.I am very gratefull to my host for this....Back on topic....This thread has grown since I last checked in..What would happen if a kid ran smack dab into Farkel? I like that one the best.Although the penguins were nice(thanks XW,LOL!)..I doubt the kids would have a problem with Farkel.The big teddy bear would probably go into grandad mode.I think the kids would love him..We do have people who come on the board who are just mean spirited.They will go after any soft target,I doubt a kid would make any difference to them....I like Valis`s idea of a kids section,but it would have to be monitered 24/7 by people we know and trusted.We don`t want some jerk posing as a kid,going into the kids section,and messing with their heads....What would happen if someone posing as a kid ran smack dab into Farkel?....LOL!...OUTLAW
Simon
I think having a kids forum is fraught with difficulties ...
it would have to be monitored 24x7
it would be a target for more undesirable types (true predators)
it would hard to keep different levels of moderation going on one site
it would be impossible to vet who was who and whether people really were the age they claimed
If a site for kids *was* made then it would have to be a separate site I think and would be best left to 'professionals' like AOL etc ... (as surely, they don't have *as many* JW issues?)
This is not to say that kids are not welcome to come on here but their parents should supervise I think.
scootergirl

We do have people who come on the board who are just mean spirited.They will go after any soft target,I doubt a kid would make any difference to them...
BINGO. Now, do you understand why I was so concerned last night?
SLOAN

First of all: Thanx to LB, Prisca and SIMON!!!
SKEPTIC,
You are making accusations about ME. You do not KNOW me, and if you did..... you would know that NO ONE is going to make me say or do anything. You were WAY out of line in what you said to me. Let me make something very CLEAR to you. I assure you that NO ONE but myself came up with my last post on this thread NOR any other post I have ever written on this board!!!! I'm an adult. I think for myself and fight my own battles. But when I see someone ATTACKING people I care about and spewing things that I KNOW aren't true; "call it weakness in my charachter", call it "wrong", call it whatever you will, I really don't give a flying flip!!!
You were VERY specific in who you were talking about, come on.... we are not all STUPID here on this forum. I knew EXACTLY who you were insulting and my deduction came ONLY from YOUR CHOICE OF WORDS.
I WAS NOT attacking YOU!!! I was simply trying to help you see that your agenda wasn't meant for this thread. YOU are the one who started these ATTACKS. And if you don't see that..... you are DELUSIONAL and might I add Paranoid!!!!!!!!!! I can't believe that you are acusing me of hijacking this thread. That is a bit like the POT calling the kettle ..... black!!! You DID NOT stick to just what was being discussed in this thread! You used it to start in on your own personal VENDETTA against .... (we all know who)!!!
Futhermore, I have NEVER tried to drive anyone from this site. I love almost everyone here and those that I don't care for; I just don't talk to! I'm sorry that you feel I was "trashing" you!!! That is NOT true. I have always been nice to you as well, so this little outburst came as quite a suprise to me.
"That's all I have to say about that"
xenawarrior

((((((Valis)))))))) Thank you !!! You cannot give me a nicer compliment than to say that I am an excellent mother. It's the most important job I have!
Xandria:
I don't need to assume anything. It is very clear by the postings on this thread what happened.
It really is NOT clear what happened in the chat room based on the responses in this thread. There are only a handful of people who were actually in the chat room who have responded to this.
Utopian Raindrops was not present and did not come to the keyboard even when SevenofNine in a moderator's role was very diplomatically asking about whether Vash had her mother's permission to be there.
Now it is not my intention to make you feel attacked or belittled. But the facts are clear.. we are not considering a child's need for interaction. Each situation is unique. A place for them may give them a way to interact and deal with some issues they may have.
Children are part of the Apostofests.. and then they fall asleep. Many Apostofests are toned down in regards to the children. Then there are the ones sans children. Same principal. Simple as that.
You are so right about this and I believe we are all in agreement on this- they need a place to be. And, to me, a child's need for interaction is not necessarily best met by adults they don't know in a chat room.
I will suggest it again- Set up a chat room FOR THEM. A place where they can interact with others closer to their own age and adults can come and go for support as they wish. It's easy- set up an MSN or other sort of chat room for them !!!
I don't believe it's up to the adults here to change what they are doing because a child appears on the scene, nor do I feel they should be responsible for the well-being of those children because their parent has determined this is the place they should be. If there are 10 adults in the chat room doing whatever those 10 adults have determined they wish to at the time and a 12 year old appears on the scene- should those 10 adults be asked to totally switch gears to accomodate that child? If it's a child appearing on the scene to specifically ask for help with something- then yes- most will say they have no problem offering that assistance at the time. But if that 12 year old appears on the scene to "hang out with the adults" is it the responsibility of those 10 adults to change what they are doing to accomodate that child's need to "hang out"? I don't think so.
The chat room goes with the flow of the majority of who is in there at the time- that's just the way it is. If I enter the room and I don't wish to discuss what the current topic is- are they wrong for not stopping what they are discussing and gear things towards me? No, and I wouldn't ask them to. I make a choice to stay and discuss what they are or leave and find something else to do.
I will say this once again (yep Uncle Bruce- the idiot here)- I totally understand that children need too. I understand they are healing and have their own issues with the whole JW experience. And I think it's a great idea for them to have their own place to discuss these things with folks their own age. It would be a very healing thing. For chat purposes- again- set up an MSN chat room for them. For posting; perhaps Simon will give some consideration at some point to a section for them to be able to post and get some of this stuff out. Adults could then come in to those threads and add what they can for support -as they wish. It wouldn't be difficult to see if there were anyone who was dangerous there because adults would be reading the threads and it would be clear to whoever is posting in that section that it is for the kids and they are posting to kids. I'm not sure how Simon's board works but the kids could be registered to use that section of the forum only. If their parents wish to show them other parts of the forum- that is totally up to them.
And yes, children are a part of the Apostafests. In Dallas, Tex and Cruzan brought their kids to meet some of us at breakfast on Sunday. And it was great!!! They then brought them to the hotel to show them where the party was going on the night before etc. The children were great to be around and I had a very nice conversation with their son about his upcoming birthday party and all the children who would be invited etc.
To me, there is a big difference between giving a child carte blanche to post here and be in the chat room etc., unsupervised. It's one thing to show a child some posts that might be of interest to them.
There is alot of flirting etc on this site and it's there because folks feel they are in the adult realm. If a 12 year old child is in the chat room and didn't say they were 12 and someone started flirting with them- who is at fault? I will repeat this once again. Vash did not tell folks in the chat room that she was 12.
Everyone believes their child is mature and intelligent beyond their years- me included. We are not the most objective when it comes to our own. There are many horror stories out there about kids getting into deep trouble on the internet even when the parents were doing what they thought they should be. The "it could never happen to my child" is a thought we cannot afford to have.
XW
Seven

Hey Vash, Please check your private message Inbox here.
seven
xenawarrior
LOL Outlaw:
I doubt the kids would have a problem with Farkel.The big teddy bear would probably go into grandad mode.I think the kids would love him.
I agree 100% !!! I wasn't talking about when he (or anyone else for that matter) would be responding to a post and it was KNOWN that it was written by a child. I'm talking about not knowing it is a child posting. If a child posts something and doesn't make it clear they are a child how would anyone know?
Another note:
I think having a kids forum is fraught with difficulties ...
it would have to be monitored 24x7
it would be a target for more undesirable types (true predators)
it would hard to keep different levels of moderation going on one site
it would be impossible to vet who was who and whether people really were the age they claimed
Exactly Simon !!
This actually makes my point. If having a section specifically designated for them is fraught with the above difficulties; doesn't having them freely posting on the main board, unsupervised, pose the same problems? If the presence of them creates a need for 24/7 monitoring- then it does whether it's on the main board or a separate one.
XW
SheilaM

What I will say is that I talked to Vash in chat and enjoyed meeting her!
That said I will say that Utopian, Cassandra and Vash have been some of the best people I have ever met. Cass was also attacked when she started posting because someone didn't like how she spelled and goofs around in her posts with font faces etc. So since this is the second time someone has jumped to conclusions I'm a lil ticked. The chatroom was not racy at the time and the conversation was fine if I had thought it wasn't I would have talke to Vash myself about it. I hate when people get hurt I mean really weren't we all judged and hurt enough in the dubs? I mean think how this looks you not only have a little girl that thinks we suck but you have questioned Utopians mothering and that SUCKS. She has great kid and I can't imagine how hard it's been for them so why don't we think before we start threads I mean couldn't you Xena instead of making this thread used the personal messanger and did a PM to Utopian? Instead we have a thread that shouldn't be here there was no reason for it. Validation was not needed for this opinion. I may be a little grumpy but I think this whole THREAD SUCKS.....
LyinEyes

All of this must have happened after I left chat last nite to watch the President,,,,,,,,I am trying to catch up on all the post to get a clear picture of what happened.
I will just say a few things, I am sorry that Utopian and her daughter were hurt by things said here, I happened to know them from our old JW days and I know they have been thru hell here lately.
I also know that XenaW and Scootergirl are great moms and would never do anything to hurt a child's feelings.
What I am about to say is strickly how I feel about letting my daughter into this chat room. She is 10 right now and I beleive that UR's daughter is only 12 correct? Well , honestly, I would not let my 12 year old daughter go into the chat room here. I have been there and I have participated in some rather loose , carefree, adult conversations, more or less anything goes, being said. If I knew a child was in the chat room, I of course would tone it down as I am sure most everyone in there would.
I just don't think that a child the age of 12 would find anything interesting going on in the chat room , especailly if she doesnt know anyone. I agree it would be wonderful if there was a chat room , monitored, for the young people. I am not even sure if there are many young ones who read this board. My son is 16 and he is a registered member and finds the whole thing rather boring to tell you the truth, he leaves the "JW crap" up to his dad and me, and prefers to talk to his friends.
Being a 16 year old, yeah,,,,,, I have caught him talking about alot of stuff with his buddies and well, as long as he isnt hurting anyone, I let him have a messure of freedom in his speach, but at times have told him to tone it down. So I understand that kids probably know more than we do about alot of stuff,,lol.
But 12 years old is a little young for the chat room here,,,,,,,the reason I say this is because, there are lots of new people coming in and no one really knows them. It is not beyound chance that there could be someone who could say something to her without the knowledge of her age. I beleive I read that she did say her age when she was asked. But I remember being a 12 yr old girl, and no matter how intellegent you are at 12 , you don't always have the experience to deal with older men who may try to hit on you, which could happen, or understanding that what is being said alot of times is just kidding around between friends.
Well I have rambled enough and I hope that UR and her kids will not be hurt by this, since it seems to me that what was said was just out of concern for a 12 year old girl. I dont know if you have been in chat Utopian,,,,,,but if not , take my word , since you know me a little bit, it can be pure adult conversation, and not always a place that a child of 12 should be exposed to, and I honestly do not mean that things said there are sexual all the time, there are many things said there that are for adult ears, if you know what i mean.
Angharad

This actually makes my point. If having a section specifically designated for them is fraught with the above difficulties; doesn't having them freely posting on the main board, unsupervised, pose the same problems? If the presence of them creates a need for 24/7 monitoring- then it does whether it's on the main board or a separate one.

I agree XW, I think the few threads that come to mind when a child has posted,eg xena's & Big tex's where lovely and people responded to the kids in a kind an very friendly way, but on those threads from the outset people knew who they were talking to and the parents were involved monitoring everything.
Kids are very welcome to post here. but at the same time I think parental supervision is advisable because although we have guidelines a lot of adult topics are discussed openly.
I know personally I cant keep track of all the new people joining and so dont know all the details of every poster and I would hate to unknowingly upset someone because I was unaware I was posting to someone who was more sensitive.

Is this a place for children?

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