by Darkknight757 44 Replies latest jw experiences
Listen to your Grandpa,
In your situation i would have a quiet moment with your wife chilling somewhere nice.
Then just ask her what she feels about the organization directly.
LISTEN to her.
After you ponder her answer, then you will know how to proceed.
Ditto to what zoos said. You have the perfect opportunity.
Very sorry for the loss you're both experiencing.
Doc
Sorry and much empathy to you and your wife for your loss ,
It does sound like your ready to leave the JW religious cult, you've probably now realized that its travesty of delusions held in place by corruption of men who run and operate their own publishing house.
I just have to re-check this ???
Worse and most offensive was the Regional Convention encouraging parents to withhold drivers licenses to children until they "dedicate themselves to Jehovah.
Are you right about that I've never heard such nonsense and yes I was born into this faith as well ??
In any case my suggestion would to be firm in your personal endeavor to leave and stepping down from being an elder is the first step, from there you could study about how this organization got started, the things it did get right as well the things it got wrong, in between you'll find the truth.
Take care.
Darkknight,
I'm sorry for your losses, and can empathize with you and your wife. There is a large army of sisters and brothers that have lived with the loss of child through miscarriage. Its one of those terrible things that for some reason the expectation is for you and your wife to suffer in silence. When my sister lost her second, I berated the elder body for being so clueless and uncaring especially when her hours slipped. It was one of many things that woke me up.
As you are the watchtower conductor it will likely be very difficult for you to step down as they view you as the best teacher, per the instructions in ks10 and the last CO visits. But you can do it. I was only the TMS conductor so it was a little easier this year to step down from it. I just told them it was too stressful and I needed some time away from the position. They won't complain too much if you say its just too much for a bit. Just remember its a private family matter that my wife and I need to work on.
I too had a bit of a crisis of conscience, when the WT asked me to bend the rules I could feel my grandfather roll over in his grave and I knew I had to get out. It took two years to slowly wake up my wife's mind to critical thinking, and its a step many profess that works. I did not want to loose those 20 years together (we must have gotten married the same year). Once her mind was awake to thinking for itself at all worked out.
For your sake, do the research you need to do at this stage. I'm not sure your ready yourself to take that next step of spirituality that many are not willing to take. jwfacts.com helped me reason with myself and understand the true history of watchtower. For me that was a first step. But take some advice from others as well about getting away and chilling. Good luck.
Baptism or drivers license. Anthony Morris:
Sorry for your loss we experienced that situation many decades ago.
Adoption may be something to consider. My son was told that he couldn't make a baby so they adopted our grandson as a baby...... he will be 18 next summer. In all that time he has been well loved by his parents and us. What happens a lot is that we forget he's adopted and will see some mannerism or it's something he says and one of us will say he's just like his Dad or Mom then we look at each other and laugh that once again we have forgotten he's adopted. There is no difference in how our family feels about him nor our two surprise surprise granddaughters who are 4 and 5.
Now on to your questions about what to do religious wise here's a way to handle this problem. Do not tell your wife your finished with being a JW. Love and cherish her and as part of your grieving process do reveal how upsetting it's been for you to learn that there appears to be a wide spread Pedophile problem in many of the congregations. This is not unique to the JW's but the problem has been exasperated by the Society.
Talk about the two witness rule......what abuser wants a witness to their acts. Treating sex abuse like a a sin instead of a crime. Not encouraging, up until recently, a parent to contact the authorities immediately. Not informing the congregation that they may have a pedophile in their midst even going out in Field Service.
Talk about the recent Royal Court in Australia investigation and how they found from the Branch records something like 1106 JW judicial committee investigations...... 400 Dfings and over a 50 year period not one notification to the police. Elders and a Branch member and one of the GB member were questioned under oath and were not very forthcoming.
That this has raised an issue for you as you can not and will not hide this problem in your KH if it arises. And above all until the Society takes strong measures to correct this issue you will probably have to step down.
See how she reacts to that as a first step.
She may be opened to understand things are not always right in the Society.
If she has reservations about shunning those who simply want to leave the JW or as a teenager were DF...... she may also be sensitive to forcing an 18 year to leave home when they are still facing problems (like drug use etc) and really need the support of family.
Since the loss of two children is the dominant issue in your lives.... at this point framing your need to get some space and look at things a little differently family wise may be an approach that will help your wife to start considering some other options.
My best wishes for both of you.
Gio
Welcome to my boat, i wasn't an elder...i was an MS. i noticed the BS and the Nov 13 WT that said to obey no matter what was a "WTF". i knew then i had to get out.
i changed congos, during that time i was able to step down. i used the excuse of work.
but, this has take a toll on my marriage. we too have been together 27 years....we are on the brink of divorce. she is so blinded by the watchtower.
i wish you luck and hope everything works out for you.
drop me a message is you want to talk.
"Take it from me go slow plant seeds of discontent and have your wife start taking herbs and suplements. My mother misscaried for years until she did this then she had my sister when she was over the age of 40"
Yea she is big into the herbs. She has chronic health issues but does surprisingly well. We are going to see a fertility Dr. and see what they suggest. She can become preg, just can't hold on to them. Probably auto-immune.
Either way I'll take the suggestions and keep lurking here for more advice/experiences.
This board has brought much relief already.
