by wovy 39 Replies latest jw experiences
Wovy:
I've been married 19 years and in all honesty ask WHY WOULD you want to be with any woman that would
1.Kill your babies
2.Lie through her teeth
3. Kill babies when she has her own children
4. screw you (by taking your money for houseing food etc.) and not really mean to ever have a relationship??
Do I need to ask anymore questions, I mean what is the draw to this woman? I don't get it. JW or not she is a monster first class.
Let me start by saying I love a JW, too. I have been through all the lying and sneaking, too. But not as much as your little princess. Sheila sums it up very nicely. This is a dependent woman dependent on the WTS. When she needs a break from all the craziness, you take her back every time. She has not grown up, nor faced the consequences of her own actions. You are an enabler. I am pretty sure there are some normal women in the US. Why don’t you start again in Florida? Let mommy and daddy bail her out of debt etc. etc.
I believe to this day that her parents know we are still seeing each other but choose to ignore it just so long as the JW community at large doesn’t know and face is saved. Am I being ridiculous in such thoughts?
No. They really are that ridiculous.Was she really telling me that we refrain from the old “in-out” and a wave of the magic wand and a sprinkle of spacedust and it might be all OK!
Yes.I hear a lot about keeping the “church” pure, but they took no action as it might have caused a scandal for certain people
. It is all about appearance. Especially for an elder’s daughter.I don’t see her at night and never on weekends. She attends Kingdom Hall every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday when home. When not doing that she is out with me, having a good time in a restaurant, bar or club or back at our hotel room or out at my house.
This is a relationship?I believe she knows her family’s stranglehold on her is stronger than the JWs. Maybe they are one and the same.
Yes. To leave them is to face certain death. Family/JW’s same thing. That is what she is taught.Her mother even went so far as to ask her not to elope a year ago, the underlying message being she did not want to miss a wedding.
Wrong. The mother could not attend the wedding. You are an “unbeliever”. Her mother does not want you two together. Period.Let me also say, crazy as it makes me, I have no desire to draw her away from the religion or her family. I suppose the whole point of my post is that two years down the road I am still no closer to understanding why we can’t all be friends.
Repeat after me. It’s a cult. It's a cult. They will never let you be “just friends”. Join or die at Armageddon. Those are your choices.My prediction?
A. You will start afresh Florida.
B. A while later, she will call you up to “join” you, and she will get you to pay the airfare.
C. She will check out how nice your “digs” are. She will stay a while.
D. Her conscience will get the better of her, and she will go back.
E. You will pay the airfare, of course.
F. Go back to B.
How can I be so confident of the outcome? All Jehovah Witnesses are supposed to be "in unity" on what they believe. Nearly every JW will behave the same and have the same prejudices. Think long and hard if you want to have this kind of life.
Wovy,
JW or not JW--this girl is a player. She is using you no matter how much fun you have with her outside of the religion issue. The religion issue just makes it impossible to ever untangle from some sick fantasy. Move to Florida and find yourself a nice non-JW girl. This is just nuts. (I was a good JW girl, pretty, sensual, talented, witty, and I was SINGLE. This girl does not sound like she has any more to offer than any other player with or without the religion.)
Ravyn
Thanks for the replies so far. I see by them you regard me as total sap. I am not. I know how this all looks on paper, i.e. she’s ripping me off, lying, etc, etc, but as I read in another post, I think she unaware either that she’s doing it or the problems it causes. That may come from her JW training, as they have to lie to live such a lifestyle.
In answer to couple of other points. The money. No big deal, really. I don’t care that much about money. To be loaded would be nice but in all honesty I have spent most of life having enough money to do what I want and a little left over just in case. She is welcome to all I have. Anyone is. I’ll just make some more and move on. What I don’t like about this situation is that I thought bailing her out would help the situation. It hasn’t. Just a plain old waste.
Our relationship doesn’t sound great I know but I like the time alone although I must confess spending it with her and the kids was nice. In 36 years kids had never crossed my mind. Now I appear to have lost 4. I am in a mindset where the set up of our relationship is fine with me. I will move, then I can see what will happen. If I do move I will guarantee you JGNAT that I don’t have to pay for her airline ticket ;-)
From your replies I know you all think, JEEZ, WAKE UP MAN. I am awake. I am looking for answers to my problem other than run. I would like to see it through to the end knowing I tried everything I could have. Someone out there must have made it work. There are many reasons I ended up in this situation that have no bearing on JWs and I don’t think should be aired on this forum. If my story frustrates you and you wonder how someone would put up with this please email me personally at [email protected] and I will answer. I will also continue to answer all points on this thread and I thank you for your replies and help.
Wovy.
WOVY Why dont you marry the woman ,take here to one of those places in america where they marry within 24 hours, There are many jehovahs witnesess that have married unbeleiving husbands or wives not of there religion, will solve most of your problems and of course move away from her hometown with the kids, FROM ENGLAND.
Please forgive my bluntness...but how stupid are you? This girl has no integrity, non, zero! She cheated to be with you, she will cheat on you. She lied to have you, she will lie to you. Bottom line this all, my friend. She should have an 'L' tatooed on her forehead. Don't come to America and become a Whimpus Americana! Give her the flick and run like hell. Also figure out why you let yourself get it this mess in the first place. I'm done ranting. I have to go shoot something now...this pissed me off! Maverick
Hi Wovy,
From what I read, you're not a sad sap, you're a nice British guy who is being taken for a ride.
My heart genuinely bleeds for you.
(I'm from Scotland, btw)
You, my friend, are in a predicament.
You love the girl, but the draw to her family and her JW indoctrination will win. The knee jerk reaction to "apostate" information confirmed that.
The simplest advice would be to move to Florida and start anew, since breaking up and continuing to work with her could prove immensely difficult.
You have definitely come to the right place for support, because I can assure you that there are LOADS of people who will feel for you, as I do.
We've seen what the WTS does to relationships, and to be frank, it appears that your's is on a high do to nothing.
Welcome! You have come to the right place.
wovy welcome to the board....
Its women like that that turn nice guys into something else...
I would say...she is playing you to a degree whether intentional or not...and it is affecting you...
I would ask if you love her but I think that you probably do in order to go through all that and still want things to work out. The bigger question is does she love you? As JW's are not taught to love really...only conditional love.
Ask yourself do you really want to be with someone who doesn't love you enough to take her chances on you and let the chips fall as they will. She has lied, killed and manipuated you for her own purposes. Maybe she is confused...but you seem like you are worth more than that.
As far as the wat the Elders in her Cong would handle any of this....that would probably be determined on how much of a harda$$ they are andif they're i a good mood or not. It could go either way. And as far as her not getting DF'd the first time then she must have shown enough repentance to squeeze by.
btw---what part of FL are you moving to?
You're learning an important lesson about JWs. She's an elder's daughter, but anything she's doing wrong will be hidden and hushed up so that the congregation can continue to believe the fiction that JWs do not do the things she's doing.
It's just going to get sicker from here, dude. She doesn't have to face the consequences that an "average" JW (one without an elder father with a reputation to protect, and believe me, it's HIS reputation being protected here...he could be removed as elder for having a daughter like this) would have to face, so she can, quite literally, have her cake and eat it too. If she was going to leave, she would have left in disgust at how her JW husband treated her, or when she found out they lied about the dates you mentioned, or any other thing that you talked about. She doesn't have any negative consequences from being a JW (ie, not being able to have sex with you), she doesn't have any negative consequences from leaving the JW (ie, not being able to speak to her family), so she has no reason to act differently than she's been acting all this time.
Listen to me carefully...worse case scenario - you marry her and have to live with this type of behavior, plus be the "unbelieving mate" (that sucks, I can tell you from experience). Worst case scenario - you become a JW for appearance's sake, to marry her.
Trust me, dude...since you don't know much about "the Truth (tm)" you know less than half of the story. It's alot uglier than you think it is. GET AWAY. Let her deal with life and living BY HERSELF, let her PAY HER OWN BILLS. If anything's going to wake her up, that will. After 6 months to a year of actually having to deal with life (with no contact from you), maybe she'll be ready to sh*t or get off the pot. (don't hold your breath)
