Thanks for the replies. I have typed quite a few lengthy replies but they get lost when I send, so I’m going to try and just write on Word and answer all the points. I am learning a lot and getting confirmation of what I already thought.
Maverick, I got your personal message. I WILL look into it. I expect watching someone make such a fool of themselves will annoy a lot people.
LittleToe, we have a lot in common. I’m from Glasgow. We must be drawn to this stuff. And I moved to get away from religious bigotry! I understand what may win out but it has always been my belief that if she is removed from her family (and this town) she will eventually cave. She does not believe a lot of what is told to her but I also obviously have very little grasp of how she is controlled.
I know that a good dose of reality might make her see sense. But it’s hard for me to watch anyone get in to debt or struggle financially. I’m not a Florence Nightingale character, running around helping everyone I see, I just have no particular attachment to things that I own. However, that has changed. I told her a few days back that the days of me tossing a few hundred bucks her way when she needs it are gone. This met with a silence, as I am serious. It hasn’t benefited us in anyway at all. It gave her a jolt one way or another. Before I have never told her that I wouldn’t give her money, I had only ever asked her not to ask me and to help herself. Her outgoings are more than her monthly salary. A $4500 tax return of two months ago is gone already. She has no idea of budget as her father, then her husband after that made all the decisions.
I am considering a transfer to Florida with my company. My plan was to live in Florida, keep my place in Ohio and just fly up the night before work. That may change. A total transfer, and in effect a reverse commute, may be the way to go. I won’t, for the foreseeable future make a total move to Florida, maybe just use the place down there to relax on days off and get away from here. I pay nothing at all for where I live in Ohio and would be a mug to give up that situation completely.
To those who asked, I should, all going well, be in Ft Myers next Tuesday for about a week.
Thinking about things the Florida “issue” is the one thing that has kept me going in the past few months. I can see we are at a dead-end and even yesterday, having the talk with her she asked me what I can possibly hope to get from all of this. I really didn’t know. I had forgotten that moving is the one thing that will drive it forward or just end it all.
I really don’t think she is “playing” me as such. Believe me, I was played in my last relationship. Played like a whole orchestra on the Last Night At The Proms. That is a tale that will amuse you. It has no bearing on JWs, so not on this forum.
That leads to a question I do want answered. Anyone who is an immigrant to this country or has traveled extensively could offer an opinion. Are American women all liars or is it just in Northern Ohio? I dated a lot of women in Scotland and never a problem. I like you, you like me, let’s give it a go, oh, it didn’t work out, see you. That’s basically how it went. Everybody knows where they stand. A very brief history of American track record is, got married, moved here, wife cheated and wanted divorce within three months. Then dated a girl who asked me out. Date for a few weeks, then tells me to leave her alone or she would call the police!!!! Then her BOYFRIEND of 4 years calls me too!!! Jeez. Then ex-wife wants me back. Lasts 7 months, ends, no big deal. I was already past it. Date girl for three months. Have good time. Tells me she’s going to Africa for three months with ex-boyfriend, who is obviously no longer and “ex”. Date aforementioned “Played me like last night at proms” girl. Swimwear model, ex-Mrs Michigan, getting divorced, after a couple of months tells me she’s pregnant, never heard from again!!!!!!!! I think it suddenly dawned her that I don’t have that much money and this girl was a bit schizoid anyway. Pity her other four sprats. Interestingly she was very “religious” too. Hmmm. Then the current one, running two years now. In all honesty, really, since my wife left me I have had ONE day of total, uninvolved relaxation. The rest is just turmoil. It dawned on me last night that these last three women in particular I have never met their family or friends. I’m like a Masonic boyfriend. “Is that your boyfriend?” “Shhh. It’s a secret.”
asleif_dufansdottir
made the point that she would have left in disgust at how they treated her ex-husband and the like. I totally agree and cannot comprehend this attitude. It was fine for her husband to beat and drink. Her weasel of a father, living across the street, did nothing. Even after he cheated, and cheated again, and cheated again, it was very hard for her to get them to agree she had grounds for divorce. She went ahead anyway, then her “community” fell in line after that. Suddenly they found she did have reason. That now seems a bit weird.
In a total off topic, let me relay what happened to a friend of hers a few weeks back. You never know, she may even be reading this. Her friend, of course, is getting a divorce. Apparently her husband liked the wings at Hooters just a little too much. So, she has grounds and he’s disfellowshipped. They have been separated for a few months and she goes over to his late at night to pick up the kids. As tends to happen, in a moment of passion, she ends up doing the old in-out. Hooterman then calls her Hall and squeals. She is then brought before the brothers and in a moment of unheard of madness in the Witness community, this girl tells the truth. Her punishment? She is disfellowshipped. My girlfriend, for screwing me while she’s still married, gets a pat on the back and a balloon. Interestingly, my girlfriend has told her friend that it WILL NOT stop them being friends. Right as that is, I thought that was another big no-no.
Oh, and while I’m on scandal, the girl that had an affair with my girlfriend’s ex, well her sister works at the same place we do!!!! She was a good little witness girl too until she couldn’t explain the 9 month swelling in her stomach. She now too is on the scrap heap. That really is the lowest of the low. When people really need help, like going through a divorce or having a child the JWs are nowhere to be seen. How can they get away with it?
On another point, I am not enjoying this. It is not the way I want to live my life but it is hard when you have deep feelings for someone. Like I said, soon this will have run its course. It doesn’t seem to be now though.
One last question I hope someone can answer for me. Kind of threefold question. If she decided she wanted to be with me, like tell her family that we haven’t been dating but she still has feelings and I am “the one”, what is a) the probable scenario, b)best case scenario, c) worst case scenario? Her family know we had a relationship. They know we see each other at work so why couldn’t she take that line and a get a feel for what would come her way. I do really believe this is above all else about saving face in society.
Thanks again all
Wovy.
