As to the issue of marriage, according to my grandparents who were "married" in Scotland in the late 1930's, the only "legally binding" papers they had were that their marriage was announced in the church bulletin and they were married before their church, no papers were signed, just 2 people commiting themselves to each other before the god they believed in and their friends and family. Long ago, they never had marriage licences.
If you are happy, good for you, a piece of paper makes no difference to love and happiness,
I am so sorry that you are going through such a difficult time, but from what I have seen you are a strong woman and surviving this experience will only render you stronger. I am proud of you for hanging in there and wish the best for you as you get through this. ((((( Kelpie )))))
HOORAY for the DFing! (I smiled and danced my way home from the KH when I DA'd myself!)
However, it completely FROSTS me to hear:
I told her that is because they were calling me at work and I refuse to talk about those issues at work.
This is not the first time I have heard of elders calling Witnesses at work to discuss judicial matters, but I am still astounded. Don't they make such a big deal from the platform about giving one's employer an honest day's work? Don't they realize that non-emergency personal phone calls are often discouraged at many places of business? Also, that you might not be in a position to properly respond to confidential matters?
And how the heck did they GET your work phone number anyway? Did you give it to them? Or did they have to phone around (and at the same time let whomever they spoke to understand that there was some business of yours going on with the elders) ? Or did your mother give it to them? Do/did you consider that a breach of confidence or would you have preferred that your mother share your home phone number with them?
Sorry to hear of the bad times that you have gone through. I hope that your family relations will not suffer too much. Your Mother sounds like a practical lady.
I asked her why they made her call me and she said because I wouldn't take the elders calls.
According to all the judicial rules that I knew and followed , that is just baloney. And of course they should not call you at work. If you live a long way from the home congo, then it should be passed over to the nearest congo to deal with a judicial case. That is making an unfair burden on the subject of the hearing.
Since they have not officially told you, you are not bound by their ruling. I guess that if you wanted to then you could appeal on the grounds of malpractise.
Still, you dont want to do that . You are better off out . All the best
Good post, but since Kelpie and her fiance are planning on getting married in October, it's a non-issue.
In Australia, de-facto couples have legal rights as couples after living together for 7 years. Until then, things can get messy if they decide to split up (more so than a normal divorce, lol).
Kelps, is it correct to assume that the elders df'ing you are from your old cong? So they are df'ing you even though you no longer live in their territory?
Consider it a favor. Love the man you love and things will work out fine. Enjoy your freedom and don't look back. I was disfellowshipped in 1966 for apostasy. I don't regret it, nor would I ever return.
""First, it is completely outside of protocol for the Elders to communicate through a third-person, even your mother, the DF'ng decision or any results of a judicial committee. Any appeal that you may lodge should cite that the Elders did not follow proper procedures and violated your confidentiality. ""
you have the web, this association, and this knowledge. I can speak of years wandering in the dark after being disfellowshipped, (to use their metaphore). It must be so liberating to know you are making the right choice!
Congrats Kelpie on this one. At least they wern't knocking on your door trying to set up a judicial meeting where they ask you all kinds of intimate details. Those creeps have done it to others.
