by kelpie 40 Replies latest jw friends
Yep, once they start "investigating" and forming the committee, they don't care what's going on in your life, your state of mind, or anything. You lost your baby - you'd think they least they could do, even from their standpoint, is wait a bit. But no.
Once again kelpie I am sorry for the loss of your baby. And I am sorry they treated you this way.
Kelpie, making your mother call? Cowards! I thought women weren't qualified for such privileges. And calling you at work!
Sorry again about the baby. The women I know who have gone through this say time softens the pain but you will remember that little life with love.
Congratulations on the coming plans and the love you do have in your life.
Blondie
((((((((Kelpie)))))))))
I'm glad you feel free.
I am puzzled at the fact that you were informed in that manner kelpie -
When I was an elder, a person who was df'd had to be informed by two elders, either face-face or by conference call, since two had to witness that the person was informed.
And I don't get why your mom knew. They should have taken steps to inform you, not a relative.
Oh, and it should not have fallen upon your mom to be the one to inform you either.
Odd situation - either proceedures have changed markedly in the past three years or so, or these guys don't know or care about proper WTS procedure and the rights (albeit few) of the accused.
Free at last. Amen
Kelpie and others,
Greetings. First I am sorry for your state, I know what is is like.
I wanted to clarify some things in this thread.
First, it is completely outside of protocol for the Elders to communicate through a third-person, even your mother, the DF'ng decision or any results of a judicial committee. Any appeal that you may lodge should cite that the Elders did not follow proper procedures and violated your confidentiality. If they could not reach you by phone they are to make a personal attempt to "serve you with notice" at home.
Secondly, you may be under the mistaken belief that "common law" marriages are valid. I do not know what the law is in Australia but in the U.S. the majority of states have opted by statue or case law not to recognize common law marriages and it is generally a popularly false notion that common law marriages are legally valid.
If you are unsure you need to find out exactly what the law permits. Marriage is important for many reasons both social and legal. What I am talking about here are more the legal implications of not getting married that you need to inform yourself about and to use as a basis for making some important decisions. In the event that you do not marry your partner, you need to know whether:
1. You can make medical decisions for each other such as to continue life support, or other important decisions in the event your partner is incapcitated and if you can't you may need to execute a DPA. (Note in the US, some hospitals won't let non family, unmarried persons visit or stay in the hospital at certain times and also the US has recently enacted stricter laws that control access to medical information and records from others)
2. You need to find out about property and whether you should both execute wills (probably) since if you are not married there is probably no intestate inheritance in Australia.
3. Should you have children (or currently have children) you may need to make rock solid designations of who would be their guardian in the event of the death of one of you or both of you...and even then the court may set aside such a designation in favour of family bonds over non-marital partners who have no familial (are not the natural parents) of a minor child.
these are just three of the most crucial areas but there are actually lots of things you need to discuss and consider about the benefits of getting married versus not. If it isn't important to you in terms of society and you have no desire to have an expensive wedding, there may be valid legal reasons why you want to get officially married.
Finally, someone cited Joseph and Mary and stated that they didn't get married.
ON the contrary, the Bible says that when Joseph first found out that Mary was pregnant his first inclination was to "divorce her privately".
Was Joseph legally married already to her? No. At this time they were living separately but it was known publicly that they were "dating" or "engaged." Thus from society's viewpoint they were already "married" or intended for each other which is why Joseph's thought was to divorce her.
But having been given divine explanation of her physical condition, notice that what Joseph did was go out, go to her house and lead her from her father's house INTO HIS OWN HOME. This public act of declaring to take her as his wife into his home is the same the marriage CEREMONY that we have in our western society and in fact in many lands such as Africa and other tribal cultures, including Native Americans (mostly in the past) and cultures of the Pacific, the ceremony is actually still the same, taking the bride from the father's home into your own hut or teepee or home. No further legal document was needed in these cultures as from that point on it would be publically recognized that the couple were married and free to enjoy all of the marital rights.
In our (modern) culture a "piece of paper" is necessary since we tend to extend beyond our small villages and often need proof of a valid legal marriage to obtain goods and services to show others.
So anyways Joseph and Mary were LEGALLY married. It was also further necessary that this had to be so since it was necessary according to Jewish custom and law that Jesus have full birthrights...a necessary requirement of his Messiaship for him to be of the Kingly Davidic line...although he was also of the Davidic line by virtue of his mother, which under Jewish law and custom also recognizes.
--Eduardo
THE BIBLE
Song of Songs
Chapter 1
So sorry that it had to come to this, Kelpie. They excel at kicking a person when they are down.
Like others have said.......it is a cult, what more can you expect? I say count your REAL blessings in life, and enjoy your freedom.
Mrs. Shakita
Kelpie. I feel for you. Sure has not been a good couple of weeks for you.
On the other hand you do have a lot of great things to look forward to.
The shackles of the WTBTS are loosened, and you have gone from being a prisioner of the Watchtower to a prisioner of love.
You are discovering freedom, and true friendship.........and you're getting married !
Congratulations, and take care !
