The Feminization of Boys..is it acceptable?

by Brummie 48 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse

• 

  Pleasuredome

  it's an interesting subject, and it definately needs more analysis.

  i remember when i was 4 years old, and i was at a girls house and she had a huge dolls house with many different levels in it and it had great detail in it. it had a bath that really worked with water and i thought it was fantastic and we played with it for hours. i told my mom about it and asked her if i could have one. she told that i couldn't. i asked her why, and she said that a dolls house was for girls. i asked why? she said because it just is.

  it made no sense to me, and i was disappointed. i mean i'm 4 years old, in my eyes there was a great toy i could play with, and i was being denied it just because i was a boy. the thought never crossed my mind that i would become like a girl if i played with a dolls house, and looking back on it, it certainly wouldnt turn me into a raving homosexual.

  it's just conditioning, that's all it is.

  i'd rather give a dolls house for boy to play with anyday, ratehr than a toy gun or anything of a violent nature.
• 

  caligirl

  I think that as with everything, there needs to be a balance. If a little boy sees mommy painting her nails and wants one of his done too, I see no harm. That is what polish remover is for! He just wants to immitate Mom. My son went through this, and I would paint one of his nails and he would go off happy that he had taken part in what was a grown up activity in his mind. However, I would never have gone out and bought him his own polish or purse! That, I feel is carrying it a bit too far.

  As for my son, he plays well with boys and girls, is as content to bake cookies as he is playing with his supersoaker or blasting aliens on a video game. He is not afraid to cry, or express how he feels. All good things as far as I can see! I can only hope that he retains a balance as he grows up.
• 

  Aztec

  Caligirl, your son sounds like mine. Sounds like you're doing a good job!

  Petty, I knew you were talking about me..LOL!

  PD, awwww! I'll buy you a doll house if that's what you want.

  ~Az
• 

  Realist

  Hello Xena,

  I'm curious has your boss ever asked you to bend over his desk so he can look down your shirt? Mine has... Does your boss come up behind you and rub your shoulders unasked and tell you about how little sex he gets at home? Mine has.... Have you ever felt your job, the job that supports yourself and your child, was threatened if you didn't allow this type of behavior? I have...

  When you can answer yes to those questions then you will have a leg to stand on in your arguement.

  luckily i am not good looking enough for this to happen

  seriously now...such a behaviour is certainly NOT OK! But does it justify sueing? not in my opinion. some people be it male or female are a**holes and one just has to deal with such coworkers. there is lot of "normal" harrassing going on for which nobody can sue.

  Have you ever spent 18 years of your life supporting a man...taking care of him and your children..while he advanced his career only to have him dump you for a younger model? lol well I haven't either, but plenty of women have...

  that is a quite different situation from what i was referring to. suppose a couple gets married in their early 20ties and after 20 years he leaves her for a younger woman than of course he has to pay if she stayed at home for the children. no question about it!

  but a woman who marries a man who is already successful is not entiteled to a considerable amount of his money imo. for instance the german tennis player Becker had to pay 20 million + alimoney and costs for security guys to his wife after the divorce (married 6 or 7 years). the carreer she gave up for him was worth perhaps 1 million but certainly no more.
• 

  Xena

  But does it justify sueing? not in my opinion. some people be it male or female are a**holes and one just has to deal with such coworkers. there is lot of "normal" harrassing going on for which nobody can sue.

  I wasn't speaking of a co-worker...I was speaking of a supervisor who was taking advantage of his position.......an unattractive man (and I am not talking about looks here I am talking about attitude) who uses the power this company has given him to force women to accept his advances. Now if the company allows this type of behavior, dispite being told of it, then they deserve to be sued...they area allowing someone to be victimized.

  Odd you envy women unwanted advances from men in positions to take their jobs and security away from them? Try being a single mother in the workforce. Try having a child depend on you for a roof over your head and food in their mouths....all the while worrying you are going to lose your job, a job you excel at, because some jerk figures he can use his position to touch or speak to you inappropriately. Yea I feel real lucky....

  As for the other....hhhmmm remember Rosanne Barr and her hubby? Men do the same thing, you just don't see it as often because there are fewer wealthy women. Does that make it right? No...but it isn't totally gender specific...there are men who would do the same thing if given the opportunity.

  Do you want to talk about all the men who leave women destitude after marriage, with children to support? I don't know the figures but I am going to go out on a limb here and assume they are higher than the women who take advantage of a few wealthy men.........
• 

  Xena

  luckily i am not good looking enough for this to happen

  In retrospect I believe I misread you on this realist...sorry..in case you can't tell it's a touchy (no pun intended) subject for me
• 

  teejay

  SheilaM, my avatar is of a male pussy... -- Brummie

  Isn't that what this thread is all about?
• 

  Realist

  In retrospect I believe I misread you on this realist...sorry..in case you can't tell it's a touchy (no pun intended) subject for me

  i am glad this was a misunderstanding! after your first post i was like what the???

  i can imagine that it must be very uncomfortable to work in such an environment and i am sorry if what i said aggrevated you. that the company is not doing anything about it is kind of shocking.

  whether suing is appropriate or not is depending on the case and how severe the abuse is i suppose.

  i guess what annoys me is just that the media is only reporting about how bad and primitive man are and making a big fuss about male misbehaviour while not a single report mentions the other side of the story. after all i think there are just as many nice vs. bad guys as there are nice vs. bad woman.
• 

  Brummie

  Peoples thanks for making this thread intersting The following questions were not addressed in 20/20 and while they have been touched upon here I was wondering if I can throw these questions back out for more exploration?

  1) should a father be able to influence a male child in the way he instinctively considers the "male role" to be?

  2)Is it ok for a father to tell a male child that "girly" things are for girls? Or is the father totally wrong for sharing his veiw of what it is to be a male?

  3)Consequently is it the Mother who should decide that the male child should be influenced in a girly way in order for him to appreciate feminism?

  4) Are the majority of male children correct for standing up for the male role as percieved by most males?

  5)Should the majority be viewed as "bigots" because they inherit a male perspective? Or should the females decide what a "male" role entails?

  Brummie