Disfellowshipping

by larc 42 Replies latest jw friends

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  larc

  Waiting,
  
  I read your thread with some confusion. First of all, I have no idea what you are talking about when you talk about the marriage thread. Of course, you have to realize that I have short term memory problems- always have and always will.
  
  Now, your second point: I was never disfellowshipped. My mother was because she could not quit smoking.
  
  Your last point just mystifys me. I have empathy, but no fellow feeling. Where in the fork did that inference come from? I lived it as a child and a young adult. Just because I can talk about it objectively, does not mean I did not feel it. I feel it every time I talk to my JW sister on the phone, or my wife talks to her JW sister,or when I travel 4 hours to go to a JW funeral and talk to people that are no longer part of my life, but they do treat me kindly.
• 

  larc

  Waiting,
  
  I am in the mood to chat a bit more. The last funeral I went to was Jan's younger sister. She was in a comma for awhile and we went there when her husband had to decide whether or not to pull the plug and let her go. It was a very tough time for him and his children.
  
  Jan's sister was not a JW, and the service was conducted by a very nice Baptist minister. At any rate, it was a good time to see family and celebrate life in the midst of death. There were many Witnesses at the viewing, but none except family at the funeral.
  
  I really don't know what else to say, except that it was a very bitter-sweet experience.
• 

  waiting

  Hey larc,

  lol.............well, perhaps I just worded it wrong - confusing "empathy vs fellow-feeling"?.........or perhaps I was just "the fork" wrong?

  Either way - no big deal to me, sorry if I misunderstood. Isn't the first time, nor last, sweetcheeks.

  I'll try to explain what I was trying to explain.

  She was in a comma for awhile and we went there when her husband had to decide whether or not to pull the plug and let her go. It was a very tough time for him and his children.

  I can only imagine how tough that was.........as I've never been in that situation. I have empathy for her husband......but not real fellow-feeling, because I've not had to do that with anyone I loved. I couldn't have stood there & said "I know how hard this is. I've been through it too."
  
  

  Jan's sister was not a JW, and the service was conducted by a very nice Baptist minister. At any rate, it was a good time to see family and celebrate life in the midst of death. There were many Witnesses at the viewing, but none except family at the funeral.

  I would assume that the funeral was different for the widower & children than for the visitors. I'm sure they welcomed the company in the midst of the painful situation.

  I really don't know what else to say, except that it was a very bitter-sweet experience.

  A bittersweet experience for all..........but different because you got to go home with your wife. He buried his.

  Soooooooooo, if it were me at the funeral, I could feel empathy for the grieving husband.....but only imagine his feelings.....because I've not lost a mate - particularily where to some, I had caused the initial stop of life. I can only imagine the conflict....and perhaps there isn't any conflict. I don't know, haven't been there. Therefore, I wouldn't have the fellow-feeling - as I haven't been there.

  Perhaps my use of these two words is my misunderstanding?

  Now, your second point: I was never disfellowshipped. My mother was because she could not quit smoking.

  I've not been df'd either. My daughter was. I have - and did - have empathy for her situation....but I really didn't understand what it felt like. She went to her grandfather's visitation at funeral home with her fiance' - and some jw's actually turned their back on them. I can only imagine her public humiliation by their rudeness - but don't really know, as I haven't experienced that sort of rudenes......yet.

  Take care & enjoy your Spring!

  waiting