by czarofmischief 71 Replies latest jw experiences
You people crack me up. The smurf thing then the Armageddon World Tour. GREAT STUFF!!!!
What if we hired that streaker with the green scarf in the tennis shoe commercials? That would get a few peoples attention and from what I saw in the commercial he is pretty hard to catch. Plus it would be really funny to watch all those stuck up elders in suits chasing a naked man.
Take your laptop. Check out JWD during the boring talks. Have a couple of games like "Doom" that you can play after lunch to keep everyone around you awake.
Nina
This is in reply to unique1's post above:
That would be too mundane...now naked woman...that might wake up a few folks!
Some of the things from trigger happy tv would go down well.
Imagine a phone going off in the sessions, a bloke standing up and putting a phone the size of his briefcase to his head and shouting at the top of his voice; "HELLO!....... YEAH, I'M AT THE ASSEMBLY...... NO, ITS CRAP, DEAD BORING...."
Or have two people in animal costumes sprinting from opposite sides of the stadium to meet and have a huge fight in the middle.
Or you could just stand outside in a lamb costume giving balloons out to the kids with slogans like 'silentlambs', ect.
Place beepers in hidden locations so they would go off and on all hours of the convention.
Buy a dozen mice from the pet store and let them loose periodically.
Place porno mags on seats early in the morning to reserve them for your group.
Leave a copy of Crisis of Conscience in the crapper.
Live crickets.
Week old shrimp left under the seats
hmmm...or I could just show up...
Sincerely,
District Overbeer of the "Pandemonious" class
Nosferatu,
You said,
Walk around the convention area, putting condoms in the contribution boxes.
Bunus if they're USED condoms!
Secret a box that has the contents of 200 bottles of alka zeltzer, dump into baptismal pool at the first baptism.
Start to cry really loudly and say Jehover' spirit is moving you to do so. If those around you try to shoosh you, scream that Jehover is speaking through YOU now, and any who don't believe will be destroyed.
Loudly agree with every thing coming from the platform, throwing in the occasional "isnt' Jehover good" line
Whenever a scripture is read, frantically search for it, and say loudly "that's not what MY Bible says!"
Dress in wildly inappropriate clothing, and cry loudly if anyone mentions it.
During the last prayer, display a giant size poster of a baby, and scream that the brother praying is the baby's REAL father.
Happyout
Pass out LOTS of sugar candy to as many little kids as possible!
Purchase LOTS of chocolate EXLAX, remove the wrapper and re-wrap with Tootsie Roll wrapper. Give three or four to each and every kid under six years old you can find in the entire assembly. Tell 'em to eat 'em fast cause they'll melt. Best you not hang around for the whole program.
Get your doctor to give you some of that azo dye used for urinary tract infections. Grind into fine powder. Put this into as many cokes and other drinks as possible. It will turn everyone's pee a brilliant red. Pandemonium will result. Start rumor that Armageddon has arrived as everyone will start to pee blood as their insides become disconnected.
Sneak in a fairly strong concentrated solution of silver nitrate before the session starts. Get lots of it. soak every seat you can, especially down front where the really righteous sit. The next morning when these people get up, the skin of their behinds will be jet black. And it won't wash off. It has to WEAR off. Takes about three or four weeks, as the black comes from a chemical reaction of the free silver ions in the solution with negative ions in the skin. This one is brilliant. People will think they're starting to rot, so start a rumor that Armageddon is beginning with people's skin rotting off starting with their bum.
Some of the things from trigger happy tv would go down well. Imagine a phone going off in the sessions, a bloke standing up and putting a phone the size of his briefcase to his head and shouting at the top of his voice; "HELLO!....... YEAH, I'M AT THE ASSEMBLY...... NO, ITS CRAP, DEAD BORING...."
I love trigger happy tv!
Whats up with the shasta soda and burrito's anyways? Is shasta owned by the dubs?
Enigma
