The ten best ways to disrupt a District Assembly:

by czarofmischief 71 Replies latest jw experiences

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  clarity
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  cantleave

  Many years ago (late 80's) at the old Southampton Dell there was a guy who decided to do a streak across the field.

  Another time one of the neighbours decided to play Frankie Goes To Hollywood's "Relax".

  There was also a Bomb Scare evacuation.

  Ohh those were the days!!!
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  cedars

  I've thought of a marvellous way to sabotage a convention, but it would require skill and planning of epic "Ocean's Eleven" proportions.

  It seems to me the achilles heel of the district conventions are the convention programs. They are such a simple design that they could easily be forged, with the inside text replaced with apostate information and web addresses, etc. More recently, the Society has made it even easier for us to do this by publishing the programs as downloadable PDFs on jw.org.

  Therefore, all you would need to do is get the counterfeit convention programs printed and boxed, get someone on the inside (at the venue) to replace the WT boxes with the counterfeit boxes, and hey presto! Each and every attendant is distributing your apostate program for you! By the time they realize what has happened, potentially thousands of programs will be in circulation, all containing important website addresses such as jwfacts.com, etc.

  That's my idea, anyway.

  Cedars
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  ilikecheese

  If you wanted to be really mean, you could go around to the fat guys and tell them to cover up better because their cleavage is stumbling you. That's only if you're pure evil, though.

  You could leave Marlboro's all over the place.

  Go around dressed as Jesus, have some friends dress up as Governing Body members, and have Jesus "do obeisance" to them.

  Wear an "I love the Pope" hat, bring a rosary, carry a small statue of Mary, and ask when Pope Benedict is showing up.

  Leave flyers around the various areas saying that there will a Magic the Gathering game halfway through the day's festivities in some section of the stadium.

  When the baptisms start, start throwing in random inflated pool toys, like alligators and ducks. Offer water wings to the people walking in.

  Somehow manage to play this song on the loud speakers: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U4EteTyoMtE (I can't figure out how to make this clickable.) Or play this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxC-Otl6fHM (He's also got a song called Satan, Bite the Dust! That could be useful. Only if you did an improptu play about Satan biting the dust, though.)

  Dress as Tom Cruise, start jumping on chairs yelling, "I'm in love! With Jehovah!"

  Stand outside dressed in 1920s era clothes, and hold a sign that says, "The end is near! We won't see the 1930s!"

  Find a solitary seat, and ask people if they can scoot down for Jesus. He's about to invisibly return from the bathroom and would like a seat.
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  Pams girl

  Ive just actually peed myself........ sooooooooo funny!

  Id love to sell Sparlock Tee shirts outside for a ridiculously small price, then when the dubbys go walkabout at lunchtime, they'd spot half the population wearing them
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  Aussie Oz

  Dress as Sparlock...

  i do like Cedars idea though...what a blessing the internet is!

  oz
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  yadda yadda 2

  Bring your own microphone and walk up and down the aisles pretending to be a microphone attendant during the sessions. Walk up to someone randomly and hold the microphone up to their face whenever the speaker asks a rhetorical question.

  Pretend to be one of those attendants who stand there holding up signs saying "Keep Moving" but instead hold up a sign saying "The End is Near".
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  UnConfused

  FUnny Yada!
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  Joey Jo-Jo

  im thinking of a slogan, somethin catchy like THERE IS NO PEDOPHILIA LIKE WATCHTOWERPHILIA
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  clarity

  Yadda

  "Bring your own microphone and walk up and down the aisles pretending to be a microphone attendant during the sessions. Walk up to someone randomly and hold the microphone up to their face whenever the speaker asks a rhetorical question"

  >

  lol lol lol ... now I can see that happening ........... some eager beaver so intent on the speakers

  words ..... forgets he's not at the hall aaand ... automatically answers!! hahahahahhahahahahhah

  This whole thread is so funny!

  clarity