The ten best ways to disrupt a District Assembly:
by czarofmischief 71 Replies latest jw experiences
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Soldier77
Bring a device that will cause feedback to the sound system. It will have to be programmable to change the frequency once they correct it. You could mess with it during the drama, keynote address, any part you feel like screwing with. After constant assault on their ear drums, people will start getting up and leaving.
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cedars
Soldier77 - in my giddier moments, I've thought of similar ideas to yours. Most conventions in the UK are simultaneously broadcast on a radio frequency so that attendants etc can listen in, even if they're outside the auditorium. I've thought it would be cool if you could figure out a way of hijacking that frequency and broadcasting apostate information instead. That would really get under their skin!!
Cedars
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Goshawk
Volunteer to translate real time only your translation is old light.
Laser pointers are a hoot, easily hidden. One could be sequestered in the spine of a bible and used to distract the speaker, especially in a stadium setting where the audience is at a higher elevation to the speaker.
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MrFreeze
This thread had me cracking up.
For some reason on the OP, number 8 had me cracking up:
8. Get fifty of your friends to walk around in the stadium during the session, holding signs that say, "Louder please!" and "Take your shirt off!" and "Make some noise!" and "We're number one!"
It is just so absurd...
Some people mentioned starting the wave. When I was the international convention in Germany, they did a simultaenous broadcast of reports from around the globe at the five different international assemblies that were happening in Europe. They had to wait for all of the assemblies to reach the same point in the program before they could begin. Well one was really dragging behind so people in our section actually started a wave. During the next announcements they told us not to do any sports celebrations. Lame.
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kp138
I love this thread. How about this: Wear a strap-on dildo under your pants so it looks like you have a massive erection.
- Walk around the main aisles and near the stage.
- Walk up to an elder looking person and ask if you can study with them, then change the subject and ask if there's a children's play area around.
- If there's a line at the new credit card terminals, stand very close behind a guy and gentle poke his butt with your "hard on". When he looks back say something like "boy, I'm sure excited about these new credit card contributions."
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MrFreeze
kp... the last one had me seriously cracking up.
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Open mind
This one would take two people to work smoothly, but would definitely be memorable for all in attendance.
About 1 minute before the song starts for the afternoon session the following happens:
Conspirator #1 sits within 100-200 feet of the stage wearing typical MS/Elder apparel. He has the electronic controls set up inside his shoes (ideally) or at minimum held in his lap underneath a jacket.
Conspirator #2 walks into the auditorium casually carrying a picnic bag which actually contains a fairly inexpensive radio-controlled helicopter. He approaches a row of seats near the stage with a good line of sight to Conspirator #1. He sets the RC helicopter on an empty seat and immediately heads for an exit, never to be seen again.
Conspirator #1 is at the ready the whole time. If Joe Attendant notices the helicopter right off the bat and makes a move towards it, Conspirator #1 springs into action. (Or at least his fingertips do.) The helicopter flies up to the top of the speakers on a pole, well out of anyone's reach. Hopefully though, it goes relatively unnoticed. The 'copter stays up there until the best talk to disrupt begins. (Preferably a Bethel speaker or the dreaded "Keynote Address".) Then the copter is flown down to the stage, making one or two passes of the podium before settling down conspicuously on the front part of the stage. If attendants rush the platform to remove it, the copter flies back up to the top of the speakers and waits. If the attendants choose to ignore it, it will lift up and down on the front of the stage every minute or two. Just imagine how interesting this talk would be to all the kids in attendance! The attendants are damned if they do, damned if they don't do anything about it.
om
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kp138
One more. Walk around an assembly wearing a giant light bulb costume (like you'd get for halloween) while reading a Physics text book. That way "the light gets brighter" (ba-dum-bum-ching)
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Anony Mous
I don't know if any of you have any knowledge of the setup times but it's usually the day before starting at 9 or whatever. If you're an undercover JW you can walk in and plant a small battery-powered speaker under the stage, somewhere around one of the monitors so it doesn't look conspicuous. Then the next day start broadcasting messages out of it, it will be picked up by the microphone.
Figure out the brand and channel numbers on the wireless microphones (if they're wireless). Usually they're Shure or some other well-known brand. Then buy the same system and do something similar. Hopefully it's not too advanced, the ones we used back in the day only had 7 channels.
Figure out the walkie-talkie frequencies for the attendants. Then say weird/funny shit over it. They're usually Motorola's anyway and each department has their own channel so it shouldn't be that hard to figure out.
If you can infiltrate the local venue, usually they don't use the speaker system the venue has. So you can plug into that and easily overpower their measly systems.
Change the temperature to 60 or so the day before, they'll get a huge bill and everyone will be ice cold. Next evening, turn the heat to maximum. Those places are huge, take forever to warm up and cool down so do it the night before and by the time they notice (8-9am or so) it can take hours for it to re-stabilize.
Also, breaker panels are fun.
If they're using wireless for anything, use a broad-spectrum jammer that you turn on and off at random times and places. You may need a power source though. It's also not allowed by the FCC.
Make the venue the target for a flashmob. Most of them are public places anyhow so you can have guys walk in inconspicuously (especially if they're suits).
Jump in the baptism pool (damn it somebody already did)
Dye the water in the baptism pool, red or whatever works well I think, a bottle of this, uncap it and throw it in from the bleachers or sneak it in some other way: http://www.poolcenter.com/pool_party_poolstor.htm and it could be done fairly inconspicuous
Have a flashmob sit in the baptism seats on Saturday.