Why dont you leave....?

by anotheropenviewpoint 90 Replies latest jw friends

  • Risot
    Risot

    I don't normally feel inclined to post on this board, but for this pointed question, I will respond. I hope my response shows that my association has nothing to do with cowardness or not being true to myself. For those on the inside, I hope it provides comfort by showing they're not alone.

    Not only am I a Witness, but I'm an active Witness with much responsibility. Despite my standing, I have doubts concerning a good portion of Witness ideologies. Self-appointed power from the so-called faithful slave ranks top on my list. It is the denial of independent thinking, the 'do exactly as I say' type attitude that I despise. To me it is ironic that we are persuaded to squelch the same independent thinking that got us out of our former religion and into the "true religion" in the first place. We're told to "make the truth our own" by studying the Bible and Biblical reasoning provided in the publications. Yet when we see conflict between the Bible and certain Biblical reasoning, we're told to "wait on Jehovah" (i.e. keep your mouth shut and your ideas to yourself else you're going to Hell!) I have hate. I have anger and frustration, too. So why don't I leave?

    Is it because I'm selfish and don't want to lose respect or be persecuted by those still inside, including family members? Not quite. I experienced persecution from family members when I left the Catholic religion to become a Jehovah's Witness. In fact, relationships with my parents, brothers, and sisters are still scared to this day from my decision. I'm more than willing to accept judgment from others for the sake of my own convictions or lack of convictions.

    However, as you know, there is a big difference between one's exodus from Catholicism vs. exodus from being a Jehovah's Witness. The primary difference is that in leaving Catholicism, the only one who took the brunt of pain was myself. My family and friends could still go about living their lives, relatively transparent to my decision. They could still talk to me; I could still talk to them. Holidays are painful, but that was the extent. On the other hand, when one leaves the Witnesses, not only is their life affected, but their entire family's is. I'm married now. Leaving the Witnesses without her would destroy our relationship. Even leaving the Witnesses with her would destroy our relationships with her family and all of our friends. That's the difference. Leaving a religion like Catholicism hurts relationships. Leaving the Witnessses destroys relationships.

    So, one of the main reasons I remain a Witness is not to protect myself, but to protect my family. I'm not about to destroy relationships because of some self-serving need to relieve anger, frustration, etc. Am I being deceptive, not true to myself or family? Well, let me say this. I refuse to teach or promote anything I don't believe in. That includes talks I give from the platform and what I say in the ministry. I express my doubts to others when appropriate. The only outward support I give to things in which I don't believe is through my continued association, and only to that extent.

    If I had no Witness family members, would I leave? I'll just say it would be very easy for me to walk away. So is family the only reason I remain associated? It is the meat of the reason, but not the only.

    Let me ask you this. Would you rather see the Watchtower Organization crumble to ground and cease to exist, or would you rather see it change into something better? While I'm sure many of you would like to see it collapse, you and I know that this is probably not likely to happen anytime soon. Seeing it change is much more realistic. Into what remains to be seen. But mark my word, 20 years from now the Jehovah's Witness religion is going to be dramatically different. What the differences are depends on who takes the lead within. It is my hope that more people who are open-minded, such as myself, are in those positions to make change.

    Now, I have no lofty aspirations to cause major reform within the Organization. It is not a one-man job (although one man can make a big difference). Reform will only occur if many open-minded people remain associated -- people who have the open-mind to recognize error and are in the position to make a difference. When these ones leave the organization because of doubt, change is not possible. Imagine how much different the Organization would be if Ray Franz was still on the Governing Body, or if Randy Watters and hundreds of others like him were still elders. You may take this as an insult or compliment (I hope you take it as a compliment), but the fact is our Brotherhood as a whole would be much better right now if many of you were still active Witnesses. Now don't get me wrong, I find no fault with anyone who decides they must no longer associate (indeed, I said that I myself would probably leave if I had no Witness family members). But it's my opinion that the only real change that can occur in the Organization must come from within the Organization. I wish to be apart of that someway or somehow. For example, if I change just one person's mind regarding our absurd/inconsistent stand against blood, a change that I probably could not make from the outside, then it has been well worth me staying associated.

    So do I stay to cause reform? I stay to be apart of reform. In the mean time, I do what I can, and help who I can while still having responsibility in the Organization.

    -Risot

    p.s. Because of the feelings I have towards the Jehovah's Witness religion, I cannot rightfully say I'm 'true to myself' by trying to recruit new ones through the ministry. So how do stay active? Well, let me just say when I go door-to-door, I warn people, but it's not a warning of the coming end of this system of things :) Hey, who says you can't count hours for anti-Witnessing?

  • anotheropenviewpoint
    anotheropenviewpoint

    Again, I am not seeking reinstatement. If it comes to that point, so be it, if not, so be it.... but I am not seeking it... so thus your question to me is irrelevant becuase it is based on you thinking that IS what I am trying to do... yet I go with no intention.

  • Brummie
    Brummie

    Risot, pity you dont post more regular. That was excellent! WELCOME.

    Brummie

  • undercover
    undercover
    Again, I am not seeking reinstatement. If it comes to that point, so be it, if not, so be it.... but I am not seeking it... so thus your question to me is irrelevant becuase it is based on you thinking that IS what I am trying to do... yet I go with no intention.

    How can you question why some go just for family sake, yet you go with "no intention"? Why go at all, if you have no intention? What's making you go? If you're not seeking reinstatement, then it's pretty much a waste of time.

    I'm not ridiculing you, by the way. I just curious how you can insinuate that others are not strong enough to walk away when you yourself can't decide one way or the other.

  • justhuman
    justhuman

    The only reason I stay in the W.T. it is my family...Having an old dad in his late 70's it would be devasting for him to see his son going in to the "world" and die in Armageddon.

    That is my main reason, and I have never talk to him regarding my doubts...He spend all of his life from 1954 went to Gilead, serve as an C.O. and Elder until now, believing that Armagedon is coming...

    But what really hurts me is that while he spend 34 years in the Orthodox Church, he was deceived by a banch of False Prophets Made in U.S.A...

    This decision had a bad result for my life... I spend also lot of time as pioneer preaching the WT Fasle gospel in my country, and I have never looked for my future...

    I only wait and when the time will come I will sure fight the WT and try to get my wife and kids away from this untichrist religion...no other reason to stay....

    So I keep a very "nice' suprise for the WT false prophets...

  • happyout
    happyout

    Risot,

    Wow, your message was very enlightening. I feel for what you are dealing with. I have often said that if I were allowed to have my own opinions without being "marked" or disfellowshipped, I may not have left the org. I think it takes a lot of strength to stay in and try to change, especially in an organization like the WTS. Good luck to you and others like you.

    AOVP,

    I hope you don't leave the board. It's just like any new relationship, you have to get used to us and we have to get used to you. If you try to write just a little less antagonistically, you'll be fine. So far you have asked at least two very thought provoking questions, and I enjoyed a lot of the responses. It's often harder to write to a group of people than to speak to them, because what you write cannot be added into your body language, facial expression, etc. I don't think you have intentionally been rude (except maybe when you felt people were jumping on you), but it can be hard to know how you come across to others unless someone tell you.

    So, stay and play a while, we're really a great group.

    Happyout

  • sf
    sf

    LOL! And brum, YOU just rested MY case.

    sKally

  • Brummie
    Brummie
    And brum,YOU just rested MY case.

    Oh good, now that just leaves me to work on resting your obsession with voice chat.

    Brummie

  • acsot
    acsot

    Risot:

    Self-appointed power from the so-called faithful slave ranks top on my list. It is the denial of independent thinking, the 'do exactly as I say' type attitude that I despise. To me it is ironic that we are persuaded to squelch the same independent thinking that got us out of our former religion and into the "true religion" in the first place.

    Very well said, and one of the things that ate at me for the longest time!

    BTW, welcome to the board!

  • sf
    sf

    You will never quell me. Many have tried, yet failed to to so.

    What is Your fear of hearing MY VOICE?

    sKally, yahoo elite... of 'ex jw insane klown posse klass'

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