by LyinEyes 46 Replies latest jw friends
My dad is still a Jw ex-elder he lives 2000 miles away. I heard from him about a year and a half ago. My pioneer (puke, gag, puke some more) sister is also a Jw she lives about 200 miles from my dad. She came to my area (well my city) for a week and went out to dinner with me, thats it, that was about a year ago.
Enigma
Lyineyes, from what you`ve said about your Dad, he sounds excellent elder material! Pig headed, no love or compassion for anyone especially his own family, he sounds like the perfect borg elder! As a father and human being he is a complete failure, and wants a good hiding for the way he is treating you. From your thread, you can tell that you are still hurting from what he has done and no wonder but let me tell you this, although I dont know you all that well, from what I have learnt about u from your posts, this man is crazy not to love you and give you the relationship with your father that you deserve. You sound like a really warm and loving person, who goes out of her way to make people feel and home and it is truly his loss!
About disfellowshipping, I am ashamed to say that for years I have shunned both my brother and sister, and got severe telling off from the local elders, at times when I missed them both so much that I had started to have association with them. I kept up the borg rules for many years, until a couple of years ago after I had stopped attending meetings, I again got in touch with them both, I am happy to say that neither of them have held my cold-heartedness towards them against me, and we are trying to catch up on a lot of lost years......That organization has got so much to answer for, it truly ripped my whole family apart!
In 1996 I battled colon cancer(and won)... but for a period of time, there was question about whether I would live. When I reached the lowest point, and surgery was the only answer; I was told there was a 70% chance I would not come off of the operating table.
I sent a heartfelt letter to my father. In a moment of weakness and fear, I asked him to comfort me. To be there with me. Two weeks later I went into the operating room having had no response from him. When I recovered.... I found a post-card laying in the ditch by my mail-box. It was worn and had been rained on. It had only one sentence. "My son is dead"
And some lurkers and others come to this forum and question as to "why do we view everything having to do with the wbts, in such a negative way".
Makes me want to shake some sense into their heads.
I was df'd because I became enraged when I found one of my daughters had been molested by her jw elder uncle. Went to the police and the statute of limitations had expired. Went to the elders and although they had the "two" witness rule satisfied and said they believed my daughter and the other sister, They had been instructed to drop the issue.
I was df'd for "fits of rage" none of the usual reasons-fornication-drunkeness-etc.
Since 1992 my two sisters and brother, knowing the circumstances, have treated me as dead. The two sisters have passed away. None of the many nieces and nephews will speak to me. It has had some effect on my own children that are still in the borg. But they still will speak to me. If I initiate the conversation.
Do you jw apologists now understand why I feel so negative about the wbts?
Outoftheorg= negative hell, I hate the bastards.
To THOSE who believe these are NEGATIVE comments: Almost NONE of the statements on this site can truly be called "negative". We like to call them: fact based truths. Most of the statements are not a matter of OPINION, but rather EXPERIENCE.
To call a black sheep "black" is not a racist negative statement. To call the WTBTS a controlling cult based on fiction, is not an attack. Rather, it is what we all came in search of when we came upon the Watchtower.... The TRUTH.
BTW welcome to the board, Badolputtytat.
You've have shared some interesting things with us already, on this thread and others, I just wanted to welcome you.
It is terribly sad how JWs treat their own family. The "world" can't begin to comprehend such horrible actions. I tell everyone who will listen what is going on with my being df'd from the JWs. I tell people so that they won't get involved in such a high control group.
To everyone here who has or is suffering from the shunning policy of the JWs, my heart goes out to you. But we are the happy ones and the survivors.
Hugs,
j2bf
I was shunned in the past when I was df. That was before I had my children. My family does not shun me now, instead, I am the family scapegoat. Whenever my mom is mad at someone else she calls and trys to pick a fight with me. I caught on it that a long time ago, so I do not bite anymore. My family does not shun me now because the elders said I have been gone so long it is like I never was in. My sister tried to get me df when I first started attending a church. Now she and my non jw sister in law just talk bad about me all the time.
My mom once told my oldest son that if I were ever df again, she would shun me, but not him. It made my son so angry, that yelled at his grandmother. Not something I was very happy about. I insist that my boys show her respect, even if I get none. So far she does talk to me, but I am always the last to know anything. And since they are all crazy, I prefer it that way.
If I would ever find someone who wanted to share their life with me, I think I would hold off on introducing my relatives to him, say maybe until the 25th wedding anniversary. Wouldn't want him to take one look at my wacked out jw family and run.
Pam
I shun my MS father, my step-mother and my two sisters, as well as their children. I don't know where they live and I don't care. They are miserable human beings and would only hurt me and/or my family if I allowed them in our lives. I also shun most of my former JW friends. I do not consider them to be good enough association for me or my family.
Sort of depends on how you look at.
Big Tex, this is something I said to Wild, when we were talking about this. Even if my dad tried to come back into my life,,,,, I really don't want him in it anymore. I could call him, or write him a letter and somehow get in touch with him if I really wanted to ......but since he made this choice, it was his first.....then I now and also doing as you are doing,,,,,,I shun him. Of course my reason is not because a religious organization forbids me from having a relationship with him, but because he is poision to me.
It is sad that I have to do this, but he has made it so clear to me . So I have moved on , knowing that I very well may never see him alive again,,I know there is so much that is buried in my past with him and for now, I am just letting it go,,,,,I have so many other things to concern myself with right now. And the things that I concern myself with now, good friends and my family here,,,,,,,,they can and do give me so much more than the token love my dad once gave me. I can't say I even miss him anymore, and if asked to describe how I feel for him, if there is any love that I have for him,,,,,,it is hard to say.
I have to agree with the two of you. Even if my mother stopped being a JW I don't think I would want her in my life. She was bad before - worse during. And as she gets older she is getting worse.
I would have to be nuts to want that insanity back in my life. She isn't a nice person and if I wasn't related to her I wouldn't want her around so why should I just because she gave birth to me. I just don't need to be hurt anymore
