may you have peace.
I am not "good". I have never said I was. Indeed, I have openly admitted... on this forum and others... that I am a sinner... and a servant. I have openly admitted what I have been given to know... I have openly admitted HOW it is that I know... and I have openly admitted from whom I received it.
And I have "rolled"... with the "punches". From day one.
Does it distress me what you and others say? From time to time, yes it absolutely does. I go away... and think... and pray. And I examine... myself. Closely. Why? Because I absolutely understand the "peril" of blaspheming against the Holy Spirit... of saying that I received something that I did not... was told something I was not... and told to say something I was not.
I have spoken the truth... that I do not speak for God. I have spoken the truth... that it is His Son that I hear. I have not left off one iota from speaking the truth as it has been given me BY the truth. And on many occasions... while you all are asking "why NOT me?"... I am asking "why ME?"
And I know why... NOT because I am something "special" or think that I am something "special"... but because I AM A SERVANT... a FACT that you... and many others fail to grasp. It is the only way I can pay MY "debt"... for I have nothing else of which is of value to my Lord. My life is HIS... to do with as HIS wills... for HE... repurchased ME... so that I no longer live for myself, but for him that "bought" ME... with his own blood. And I serve him... and God's Household... Israel... willingly. Even if they are a hard-headed, hard-hearted, stiff-necked House.
And so be it, for it is nothing new: what servant... sent by the Master... has NOT been rejected by Israel? Is that not "Israel's"... M.O.? And don't they always say, "If someone were sent to US, WE would not do as our forefathers; WE would not reject them; WE would not perscute them; WE... would not kill them." Yes, Israel has always said that. Yet, if they will say what they did and do what they did to the Son... how can a servant expect anything better? S/he cannot.
As I thought about your words this evening... your anger and resultingly your slander... I did not know what to do... how much more I could take: one more "fight"? And I was not sure I had the strength, truly. My flesh suffers terribly sometimes afterward... and my spirit greatly - it almost always mourns. So, what to do?
Nothing more than to be thankful for those who do NOT think me "false" or "hurtful"... and to remember my Lord's words:
"HAPPY are those who are beggars for the SPIRIT, since the kingdom of the heavens belongs to THEM;
"HAPPY are those who mourn, since they WILL be comforted;
"HAPPY are the mild-tempered ones, since THEY will inherit the earth;
"HAPPY are those HUNGERING and THIRSTING for righteousness, since they WILL be filled;
"HAPPY are the MERCIFUL, since they will be SHOWN mercy;
"HAPPY are the pure in HEART, since they... will SEE God;
"HAPPY are the peacemakers, since THEY will be called sons of God;
"HAPPY are those who have been persecuted for righteousness' sake, since the kingdom of the heavens belongs to THEM;
"HAPPY are YOU... when people reproach you... and persecute you.... and lyingly say every sort of wicked thing against you... for MY sake.
"REJOICE and leap for JOY, since YOUR reward is great... in the heavens!
"For in THAT way... they persecuted the prophets PRIOR to you."
Both my Lord's words... and the words of those who have NOT left the "love" they had "at first"... the love... of the TRUTH... are a GREAT comfort to me... and just as my Lord has promised that I would BE comforted, I am. Between the two... my strength will NOT give out, but will be renewed, so that I will continue with my commission. Whether you... and others... hear... or refrain. I would ask you and such others... to look up the word "refrain."
My peace remains, and I am...
YOUR servant, and a slave of Christ, who wishes only to remain... in UNION... with the Truth... by means of HIS flesh and blood... and by means of obeying HIS "commands" (John 14:6; 6:56; 15:1-7; 14:23) and not that of earthling man...
SJ