Doing the Right Thing, Making a Choice (shunning)

by Simon 71 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  LongHairGal

  
  

  The problem with the JW religion is that it is rife with degrees of shunning through and through.

  There doesn't even need to be an announcement or "special needs" talk to get people to shun anybody who they see as either:...bad association (for whatever reason), unpopular (or subject of gossip), independent, keeps to themselves, college educated, full-time employed, affluent, well-dressed, well-traveled, etc.

  Everybody in the religion sees themselves as a little "judge".

  Many years back I found myself "shunned" or ignored by a certain family clique who were not really my friends anyway. No loss. I suspected the reason was that I ignored somebody's unwanted counsel. The idiot Jehovah's Witness religion is filled with people like this.

  The small-mindedness amused me at some level. I made believe I didn't notice it. I suspect this bothered somebody even more!

  The way I saw it: the bible says if you have something against your "brother" you should approach them. Nobody ever directly approached me. I suspect their "shunning" routine was supposed to be a control mechanism designed to make me act (or react) in a certain way......Needless to say, it did not work.
• 

  Xanthippe

  The way I saw it: the bible says if you have something against your "brother" you should approach them.

  Yes Matthew 18 as I recall, I dredged that up from somewhere! Nobody paid any attention to that scripture did they LHG? Yes I remember a lot of shunning without any platform announcements, marking I think they called it. Anyone could mark a person they decided was unsuitable association I think.

  Very small-minded I agree. Fortunately they are not doing anything significant because it's a wonder anything gets done with so many people refusing to speak to other people. Hilarious isn't it. A control mechanism yes. You just have to refuse to be controlled.
• 

  Finkelstein

  The bible does not state that these persons who were perhaps behaving inappropriately were to be shunned for a given set of time or publicly announced in front of others in a group arrangement. The time was based upon that persons behavior and their repentance from that behavior.

  So the WTS has got the announcing publicly wrong and they've got the time associated with people who are deemed shunned or DFed wrong.
  

  This DFing people for 6 months or more is not scriptural.
  
• 

  LongHairGal

  XANTHIPPE:

  Thanks. It really is a sick and dysfunctional religion when you really think about it and I'm glad to be done with it.

  How on earth....with every other person shunning this one and that one....would anybody there EVER expect to call this a "brotherhood", let alone get through any "great tribulation"???

  The reality is that I would expect more help from my so-called "worldly" neighbors than from the judgmental and hateful JWs. Sad, but true!
• 

  Finkelstein

  My impression is that the Dfing policy orchestrated by this religion is done so to correct someones behavior but more so as a fear inducing tool to cultivate more power and control toward elders .
  

  Sure the way its implemented is overtly cruel but when its considered that they are trying to emulate the social morals standards of a civilization that existed 2000 years ago, is this surprising. ?
  
• 

  Simon

  They use the "re-adjustment" claim to excuse what they do. In no other sphere of human relationships is "stop speaking" ever put forward as a way to make things better - if you love someone and they are doing something you don't like then the last thing you should want to do is drive them further away.

  Shunning is purely about trying to control information flow and to intentionally stop people speaking. We shouldn't fall for the policies that suit them.
• 

  Finkelstein

  It always surprises me how much the WTS goes beyond what is really written in the bible.

  Jehovah's devoted followers today are nothing like the early Christians or the ancient Hebrews.
  
• 

  nevaagain

  My best friend and also my best man at our wedding got disfellowshipped some years ago. I wanted to show him that I am not shunning him so I sent him various msges (we dont live in the same city anymore) but he never replied back, only when he got reinstated one year later. I never asked him why he never replied back ... but i still found it rather odd that someone disfellowshipped also upholds that rule.
  
• 

  Heartsafire

  Simon, it is true that it is an individual choice. There are talks from the podium all the time addressing the fact that some Jdubbs ignore the borg's shunning rules and have dealings with their df'd/da'd family, so some people obviously aren't in favor of the practice. But, I really don't see the rules on shunning changing anytime soon. It would take, as you mentioned, a revolutionary person to come into power to change the rules, or the org would have to bleed membership on an unprecedented scale based upon the shunning policy for the GB to consider making changes. I think the average Jdub that shuns does it out of fear of the org. However, it seems that in some people shunning activates a dark and sinister need to elevate themselves over other people acting beneath their "standards". It's a sick practice, and how to stigmatize it with the r&f is a mystery to me.
• 

  Simon

  But, I really don't see the rules on shunning changing anytime soon.

  And that is the point - given that there is no realistic outlook that it will change and no way that it can be changed by legislation then what is the point in trying to campaign for those things?

  Not only is it misguided and ineffective but trying to pin it all on the WTS could ultimately do more harm than good because it reinforces the WTS message that the people doing the shunning have no choice in the matter. It basically tells everyone that shunning is an inevitability and both sides, the shunners and the shunnes, simply have to wait for the WTS to change it's stance on the matter - something no one believes is likely to happen.

  That is why I think any campaign should instead be to tell people that not only is it unloving and unchristian but that the people doing the shunning do in fact have the choice of whether they do it or not. The WTS and the elders are mostly a toothless tiger who can roar but don't have much bite. That's what people need to be reminded - they have choices and it's them that make the choice to be cruel.