TIME TO IMPLEMENT THE GARYBUSS PHILOSOPHY!

by Dansk 60 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Dansk
    Dansk

    In view of what has recently happened to Rozalyn (Rebel) I believe anyone who is considering attending a judicial committee should take note:

    http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/7/55435/1.ashx

    I have never tried to hurt anyone in my life. I have always tried to love others from my own childhood upbringing.

    I have been treated like a traitor. Everything I said was twisted. Any good motives I have were twisted and perverted. I hate these people for what they have done to me. They promised me so much, and gave me nothing. I am angry - but not sure what I am angry at.

    I feel pretty sick and need to go away to lick my wounds. I love you all xxR

    Just reading Rozalyn's previous posts is enough to convince anyone of her wonderfully kind character. She didn't deserve to be treated like dog dirt and yet time and time again that is EXACTLY what happens when one decides to attend a JC. My own views on the subject are well known - I would refuse to meet with the elders as I DO NOT RECOGNISE THEIR AUTHORITY!

    Let's face it, if you're here on this forum you already know the Watchtower is a cult, completely unchristian and destroys people's lives. Being here means you already don't recognise the organisation's authority SO WHY ATTEND A JC?

    Some here would say circumstances differ and that there's family to consider. But I say there's no difference in the fact that we're all considered dog dirt and we'll be continually treated like dog dirt. I have as much to lose by not accepting the Borg's authority as anyone else on this forum! They have my daughters captive - my family is torn apart!

    Right, so what's the answer. I say there is only ONE answer and it is to implement the garybuss philosophy:

    http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/54609/792382/post.ashx#792382

    The relatives and others who chose to shun and snub me and people who are important to me, have made their wishes clear to me and they are not welcome around me ever again. I have moved on without them and they are not important to me. They have divorced me and my family and I have accepted that as final. They are not missed. They are not loved. They wilfully hurt me and my family and the door is closed to them.

    They don't need me. They have their book publishing corporation and each other. Their place in my life and in my heart is gone and their share of my life and my assets go to the people who have stayed in my life. Now I give back what they have tried to give me. I shun them. Good riddance! Now . . . let's party . . . . Gary

    http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/18/54640/793691/post.ashx#793691

    I only initiate contact with those who I like, those I honour and respect.

    While many of us would still like to keep the door open to those who may later have a change of heart, in essence Gary is right! We have to move on with our lives and if that means having to shun members of our own family (face it, they'll do it to us!) then so be it. We cannot allow ourselves to be emotionally blackmailed. THE TRUTH IS RIGHT HERE ON THIS FORUM - A CATALOGUE OF BLEEDING HEARTS!

    My wife and I now implement the garybuss philosophy. We have cut off our daughters UNTIL they see the error of THEIR ways. Our true friends are RIGHT HERE and we're not about to compromise our integrity to this forum by backtracking on what we know is the REAL TRUTH.

    So, if you are asked to speak to the elders or attend a JC DON'T GO!

    DON'T RECOGNISE WATCHTOWER AUTHORITY ANYMORE!!

    Dansk

  • avengers
    avengers
    They have my daughters captive - my family is torn apart!

    My daughters are also captive, and also my ex.

    If have not decided yet when the JC calls on me. To go or not to go.
    I don't know yet.

    Depends on the situation.

    Andy

  • berylblue
    berylblue
    My wife and I now implement the garybuss philosophy. We have cut off our daughters UNTIL they see the error of THEIR ways. Our true friends are RIGHT HERE and we're not about to compromise our integrity to this forum by backtracking on what we know is the REAL TRUTH.

    Dansk, I know how difficult this must be for you; my heart is with you.

    Much love,

    Rosemarie

  • Dansk
    Dansk

    Andy,

    DON'T GO!!

    Each situation is different, yes - but to the three on the panel you're dog dirt cannon fodder!

    I've read your posts and you know the score regarding the Borg. You have to be true to yourself. My philosophy now is to let my daughters wonder why their mum, dad and two brothers gave up "everlasting life". The Borg has love-bombed them into standing firm and ignoring us - but we all know that eventually this will fade, disagreements between brothers and sisters in the congregation will ensue, other people will leave, etc. Then, at a time of quiet contemplation, our girls will wonder again about their mum and dad................

    Andy, I feel for you because we understand each other - we both have family sucked in. Regardless of the pain, let truth be the winner. Make your family wonder why you have given "everything" up. I cannot believe a day can go by when one of your children doesn't wonder what you are doing and why you left. It's up to them to contact YOU. Don't play by Watchtower rules.

    Rosemarie,

    As ever, thank you! I know you're always there and it means a great deal.

    Love,

    Dansk

  • garybuss
    garybuss



    Dansk, So many of us have found that love is an action, it is not an emotion. Love is a hug. I can't hug you if you will not let me hug you. By you blocking my hugs, makes you unhuggable. So is love. The way I love you is to do things for you, with you. If you block my assess to you, you make it impossible for me to love you. You become unlovable (by me).

    The Publishing Corporation knows all of this. They say, "Love Jehovah", and your relatives are dispensable. But people can't love an abstract idea of a conceptual god because love is action and the god is invisible (not visible), not available to receive action, and thus is functionally unlovable. So the people turn to the source of their information of the god and love the source. Of course the source is the Watch Tower Publishing Corporation and they are happy to receive gifts and labors of love.

    So many of us are trapped in our own minds by the act of the rejection rather than by the loss of the rejection. To accept rejection and to not take that personally, we have to have a pretty good grasp on reality and we have to be somewhat emotionally mature without dragging around a lot of unfinished business from the past. If we have a history of not dealing with loss or rejection or setbacks very well, we will attempt to rewrite history and attempt to undo the rejection by submitting to the rejectors and returning to obedience of their wills, or we will attempt to re frame the rejection in a way that justifies the rejectors.

    One way to justify the rejectors is to validate their motives and accept their projected deficiency. By giving them credibility, we take some of the sting out of the rejection because we see them as justified and we see ourselves as deserving. Another way to justify their rejection is to see them as victims without the possession of their own free will. As long as we see them as victims, we can excuse the rejection . . . . but we become trapped in the victim profile ourselves and we can not move on.

    To objectify the rejection and put it all on the plane of reality, so we can begin and continue a course of recovery, we need to understand that they are not victims at all. They do what they do with total possession and use of their free will and it has nothing whatsoever to do with the publishing corporation. It's just them and us and how they chose to treat us. When we just focus on them the dynamic changes and simplifies and becomes manageable by us.

    A simple rule for evaluation is to take the subject out of context. Or to change the context and see if it still works. Another useful tool is to reduce to the ridiculous. Those are the concepts of my Okies stories. GaryB

  • Balsam
    Balsam

    Gary you said:

    To objectify the rejection and put it all on the plane of reality, so we can begin and continue a course of recovery, we need to understand that they are not victims at all. They do what they do with total possession and use of their free will and it has nothing whatsoever to do with the publishing corporation. It's just them and us and how they chose to treat us. When we just focus on them the dynamic changes and simplifies and becomes manageable by us.

    I had been excusing those rejecting me out of what I thought was their ignorance, but after reading your thoughts, I have to agree. People chose to do what they do because that is what they want. And there for should be responsible for their behavior. Now when and I if there is ever a change in their attitude then the relationship can be revaluated if you chose too. Be it their personality, their background, their experience in live they have chosen to treat us in a certain cruel manner. There for we are free to cut them out of our lives because they simply refuse any love from us. They blocked an affection we had for them, so it is their problem now not ours. No need to make excuses for them any longer.

    Thanks for the thoughts, I realize I needed to rethink this matter.

    Sincerely, Balsam

  • happyout
    happyout

    Dansk and others,

    I am so sorry for the pain you are all going through. It is very hurtful when your own blood (and the children you have loved since before they were born) turn their backs on you for something as abstract as a religious teaching.

    I believe each of us has to face the situation in a way that is best for them. For some, this method is fine, as it allows them a way to break free from the bonds of pain. For others, it may not work, for reasons that only they can explain.

    So, here's to hoping everyone finds their own way to successfully deal with their pain and move on and enjoy their lives.

    Happyout

  • badwillie
    badwillie

    Dansk - once again I agree completely with you. I am doing so much better since trying to rid myself of guilt over the fact that I do not wish to have contact with any JW family.

    GaryBuss - your words are very helpful, thanks both of you!

  • little witch
    little witch

    Been there, done that....

    I agree with those who have to cut their losses..and I mean losses.

    The loss of family is far from easy...yet sometimes we need to use their own philosophy against them. Do our own sort of shun.

    At least we leave a door open, we just choose to be in a more healthy state, and agree to disagree.

    Now, try to disagree peacefully with family who are ''in''

  • SheilaM
    SheilaM

    (((((Dansk)))))))))

    I believe your right about submitting to the JC if we ever were subjected to theat crap I wouldn't even acknowlege the request and if they call I would hang up.

    I hope your daughters one day see the real truth

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit