TIME TO IMPLEMENT THE GARYBUSS PHILOSOPHY! (page 6)

ESTEE

(((((Dansk & Claire)))))

I am thrilled that I might encourage someone!!!

ESTEE

Dansk, you wrote, "The big secret to being truly free of Watchtower is to take the power back. Once we do this we are without fear. To me that is the whole essence of the Garybus philosophy." That's it! Plus we do the background research, read the history, read about the wealth and property of the current Corporation conglomerate and we become totally free of fear, like you say, but we also are freed of guilt and shame and anxiety and resentment. We have knowledge and friends and healthy family and now we have power. It has been a very satisfactory resolution for me.

I don't recommend it for everybody. It requires liking being free from the victim mentality and free from the martyr mentality and it requires being comfortable with power. These are items I happen to feel very comfortable with.

Waiting, you wrote. "Could you give an example of that, Gary? I've read some of your Okie stories - but don't get the point in relation to this thread." That's all the Okies stories do. Every one of them. They all have a Witness principle or a practice that I have reduced to the ridiculous. That's why they are funny.

Most of my reductions deal with (dis)honesty and conflicts between the beliefs and teachings about the practices and the practices themselves. Here's a little example from http://www.freeminds.org/buss/okies_1.htm Letter #2
We did real good in service. We got 14 hours in today counting the ambulance ride.

from http://www.freeminds.org/buss/shunning.htm

When I was a practicing Jehovah's Witness I remember once a disfellowshipped woman with small children had attended a Thursday night JW group meeting that ended about 9:45 PM. She was required to sit in the back and she could not speak to or be spoken to by anyone there. When we left the meeting this disfellowshipped woman was still there after 10:00 PM deep in a residential neighborhood with small children and a broken down car. We all did our duty to the Watchtower and shunned her. We did not offer to help her. I never saw her again.

Estee, Thanks for the post. To me, you take a hard approach in a soft way. Whatever you do, I appreciate it a lot. Thanks for another day brightener. You give us a lot of them. You are great! GaryB

Dansk

In view of the recent thread on whether to fade or not I think it's time to resurrect this thread. I may have started it, but the information posted by various people is well worth reading again.

Gary posted to the fade thread:

I went inactive with reason in 1974 but was silent until the Witness people started to shun me in 1992.

That's my whole point. You'll never be left alone until the cut is final. I realise the difficulty for so many people with family in. But if you feel you can stand the pain on a matter of principle then take the power back. I did this by saying to myself: "I won't EVER let anyone run my life again. I won't EVER be emotionally blackmailed. I'm not prepared to kow-tow to Watchtower." Believe me, it works. I face JWs head on - I won't cross the street. I shun them all. I have the power back.

Ian

1914

I went to mine over a year ago and got df'd. Best thing that ever happened to me. Would I go again? NO

czarofmischief

I love you guys. You are so nice and kind to want to protect folks from the horror and pain that is a JC.

But as a fairly cynical (and once upon a time, blind JW) man, I know that sometimes folks need to see it to believe it. We were raised, and most of us never encountered the truth, that a JC was a loving provision of God's chosen people. I would never have believed anybody that told me what I was about to endure. Because it doesn't make sense. Because it is patently unchristian and inhuman. Because it is organizationally self-defeating. Because it reduces the pride and dignity that is a human being's spiritual privilege before God into a power trip for bitter old men. It is all these things and yet I could never have believed it.

Like the Holocaust. I have always had a hard time believing it, and indeed, the strongest argument against it is the sheer scope and horror of what happened. But it was real. And so is the JC's abusive role. It is a nightmare of humiliation and subjugation designed to break the free will. It was Satan's gift to Rutherford.

But as a loyal dub I could never have believed that the men I trusted would so completely and utterly betray not only me, but the God they claim to serve. I had to endure it to believe it.

So while your warning is certainly a testament to your loving hearts - don't be shocked if it is ignored. The truth about JC's is too horrible for most dubs to believe until they actually go through it.

CZAR

new light

I avoided all their phone calls thanks to caller ID and never answered the door to them. It seems to have worked. They gave up after 2-3 months. I feel like I'm just asking for another visit by typing this but whatever. The idea to deal with them this way came from some wise souls on this forum, and I thank them all. Listen to Dansk.

cyber-sista

I DO NOT RECOGNISE THEIR AUTHORITY!

Dansk, I plan on adopting this as one of my mantras...Thank you for this topic--it generated a lot of insight.
Gary, I feel stronger after reading your writings.
Prisca, very insightful!
Thank you everyone for being there, I have read and considered each and everyone of your writings and they have all been helpful to one degree or another.
Even though I am totally out of the Org physically and mentally, I admit I still live in dread of seeing and being contacted by many of the JWs--actually any and all of them make me feel ill at ease (even the ones I care about the most). I know their agenda--I know their belief system and I don't like it, nor do I agree with it, not do I ever again want to be a part of it.
I do know now for a certainty that I will never allow myself to be subject to elder abuse again or by any others who want to express their JW opinions to me--even if in their own minds they are well meaning-- I know the religion which they are following and practicing in their lives is very toxic to me. When they call on me again I will not recognize their authority by refusing to speak with them or be manipulated into their ridiculous and demeaning religious conversations. I will no longer be recognized as an"inactive spirtually weak JW." My life is something much more than that.

garybuss

Gary, I feel stronger after reading your writings.

Maybe I better go back are read my own stuff:-) Thanks for saying that. Some of us felt helpless in the aftermath, I did. My helplessness translated to powerlessness and when I stood up publicly to the Witnesses my powerlessness turned into power. I remember the first time an elder I happened to meet in the center court of the mall literally ran away from me. It was then I realized "they" were afraid of ME.

Heck, all I did was talk to a newspaper reporter about "their" books and "their" practices. These (Witness) people who talk so big behind their closed doors to their captives, fall apart like a two dollar suitcase in the rain when confronted in the light of day. I participated in a public forum and I invited every Witness elder I know to come and publicly explain the pratice of shunning relatives. Not a one showed up, but the newspaper reporter did, and the elders were missed. Some of the elder's victims showed up and they testified to their abuse in the name of organized religion. The meeting made the daily paper . . . again.

For me, my real healing happened after I publicly confronted the Witnesses. By then I had nothing to loose. Every Witness I knew was shunning me or threatening me. Going public kind of put a closure to the victim stage. I took my power back in a big way. It's tough to have power AND be a victim.

Since I went public, no Witness has contacted me. This I like very much. I hope it continues. If they hassle me or my family I have installment #2 ready for them. This one they will not like at all.

Sirona

Hi Ian,

Thanks for resurrecting this topic, I had missed it first time.

I agree that we should not allow them to have power over us, and I'd wholeheartedly agree that it is inadvisable to attend Judicial Committees. From experience I can say that they're NOT loving and they will treat you with contempt. I wasn't DF, but the whole JC experience has left me scarred.

Thanks Ian,

Sirona

Lady Lee

I too missed this

EXCELLENT TOPIC

When I was DFed I felt so shamed. Mind you, I didn't know then what I know now. They don't have any authority over me.

The elders on my JC CHOSE to DF me to hide the secret that an elder was abusing his family. There was nothing loving in their decision to protect the abuser.

My ex chose to shun me because he IS an abuser and it bolsters HIS reputation that I am the "bad" one. I never was the "bad" one except to those who refuse to hear the truth and want to shut me up.

My mother chooses to shun me because the WTS enforces her delusion that her abuses, abandonment and rejection towards her children were OK

Old friends choose to shun me to save their necks - without ever finding out the truth of what really happened.

They have all made active choices.

I CHOOSE to believe they have no effect on me. Their behavior and choices are not a reflection of who I am as a person or my behaviors. They KNOW NOTHING about me therefore their choices are nothing and I will not let it hurt me anymore

TIME TO IMPLEMENT THE GARYBUSS PHILOSOPHY!

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