TIME TO IMPLEMENT THE GARYBUSS PHILOSOPHY!

by Dansk 60 Replies latest jw experiences

  • garybuss
    garybuss

    Thanks Prisca, Very thought provoking post.

    Compared to some who have recently left the JWs and thus rejected by friends and family, I feel like I'm an old hand at this.

    I think you are!

    Your post makes me remember one point we so often miss when we look at any abuser, a parent, a relative, or a religious authority like the Jehovah's Witness elders, is the psychology of the omnipotent abuser. All my abusers were omnipotent, narcissistic, and egocentric. A person who has a need to see themselves as having the power of God, to dispense good, is a dangerous person to have company with.

    That person, that elder, will maneuver into a position that gives them the power, or the illusion of having the power, to meter out harm to individuals. They are keenly aware that they have the power to make our lives worse, by social markings, by withholding something they know we want or need, by physical abuse, by having us shunned, by discouraging us from working for an education, by limiting our employment opportunities, by limiting our pool to choose a spouse from, and on and on.

    By their holding these powers to make our lives worse, by simple inversion, they hold the power to make our lives better (in comparison), simply by withholding that which makes our lives worse. He who holds the power to make our lives better is godlike or one power, omnipotent.

    The big reason Witness people see the world as bad is not because of the secular news of events in some far off place. The reason they see the world as bad is, their lives are bad. Made bad by the religion they look to as holding the power to remove the bad. They see evidence of that power (of withholding the bad to give the appearance of doing good) working, on a small scale, when the elders disappear behind closed doors and people's lives are worse, or better, instantly.

    The study is that of the malevolent dictator. That is what every elder really is when they enforce the mandates of the book publishing corporation to the detriment of their fellow man.

    Remember, control is an illusion, power is a reality. He who has power has the appearance of having control. The elders have power. GaryB



    http://www.freeminds.org/buss/buss.htm

  • Dansk
    Dansk
    Remember, control is an illusion, power is a reality. He who has power has the appearance of having control. The elders have power. GaryB

    Exactly! Which is why it is essential to keep this knowledge right in front of oneself.

    DO NOT GIVE ELDERS CONTROL - TAKE CONTROL YOURSELF!

    DO NOT RECOGNISE THEIR AUTHORITY!

    DO NOT ATTEND MEETINGS WITH THEM, ESPECIALLY JCs!

    GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE!

    Dansk

  • wildfire
    wildfire

    I CAN TOTALLY AGREE WITH GARYBUSS PHILOSOPHY.... THE ELDERS TRIED TO MEET WITH ME ,,, TO DISPUTE THE HORRIBLE CHARGE OF SMOKING... SO THE FIRST TIME THEY CAME BY I WAS'NT READY FOR THEM...(TRANSLATION,,, I DIDN'T HAVE MY SECRET TAPE RECORDER CLOSE BY ) HAHAH ..... BUT THE SECOND TIME I WAS MORE THAN READY... MY JW DAUGHTER ANSWERED THE DOOR AND SAID THEY WERE THERE TO TALK ... SO I GRABBED A BAGGY SHIRT AND PANTS AND HID MY TRUSTY ... FRIEND THE TAPE RECORDER.... AND I WENT OUT TO DO BATTLE.... AND DID THEY GET AN EAR FULL.... I TOLD THEM TO TELL ME WHY THEY DF PEOPLE WHO SMOKE,, OR HAVE PREMARITAL SEX.... BUT THEY DONT\ DF CHILD MOLESTERS...( BROUGHT UP DAN FITZWATER,, WHO I KNOW OF PERSONALLY ) THEY SAID THIS ISN'T ABOUT THAT ,, BUT ISAID YOU ARE IN MY HOUSE SO YOU ARE GONNA LISTEN TO WHY I WON'T BE A PART OF THIS HYPOCRITICAL RELIGION.. I STILL HAVE THE TAPE AND WOULD LOVE TO SHARE IT WITH YOU ALL .. ( BUT I DONT KNOW HOW TO GET IT ON HERE ,, ANY IDEAS LET ME KNOW ...ok) so far as I know they haven't announced anything from the platform ( ohh i am shaking now)!!!!! I was rehearsing that speech in my mind for soo long ,, i am soo relieved to say what i wanted to... so GARY I WOULD LOVE TO COME AND VISIT YOU,, I LIVE IN NDAK AND YOU ARE IN SDAK SO HOWDY,, NEIGHBOR.... SHALOM MY FRIENDS.....

  • donkey
    donkey

    Dansk I am so sorry for what you have gone through.

    That being said I disagree with the Gary Buss approach. I will take the conditional love from my family rather than the approach "if you won't let me hug you then I can't love you" approach.

    I view religion (particularly the JW religion since it affects me personally) as a disease. My family is afflicted with the disease - so I ask if they were afflicted with a physical disease or a different mental disease and they could not or did not wantg me to hug them or care for them....I know they aren't thinking clearly and I will still love them unconditionally.

    It is the opposite approach - I will shower them with love and see if my love is stronger than what they get from their spiritual brothers.

    Jack

  • Dansk
    Dansk

    Jack,

    I will shower them with love and see if my love is stronger than what they get from their spiritual brothers.

    If this works for you my friend, that’s fine. Seriously!

    However my post is mainly aimed at those who are concerned over meeting with elders and JCs. This is where one should apply the following immediately:

    DO NOT GIVE ELDERS CONTROL - TAKE CONTROL YOURSELF!

    DO NOT RECOGNISE THEIR AUTHORITY!

    DO NOT ATTEND MEETINGS WITH THEM, ESPECIALLY JCs!

    GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE!

    This has worked for me. I'm left alone.

    Dansk

  • donkey
  • donkey
    donkey

    Dansk,

    As far as elders go - I agree totally. Where I draw the distinction with what I have read from Garybuss is that I will never write off my family. To each his own.

    Jack

  • Dansk
    Dansk

    Jack,

    Right at the beginning of this thread I stated:

    My wife and I now implement the garybuss philosophy. We have cut off our daughters UNTIL they see the error of THEIR ways.

    Please note, I say "until". Like you, I too would not close the door on any member of my family who was prepared to come back on my terms, i.e. no Borgyness in any form.

    I'm truly sorry about you own situation and hope it is resolved to your satisfaction.

    Dansk

  • garybuss
    garybuss

    Donkey, you wrote:


    Where I draw the distinction with what I have read from Garybuss is that I will never write off my family.

    I have not written any member of my family off. I have accepted that some relatives have chosen of their own free will to divorce themselves from my family and treat me and those important to me with contempt by behaving abusively as well as shunning us. Those relatives are not given any more opportunity to advance their abuse any farther with my cooperation.

    If any one of them wishes to change their behaviors and wishes to make amends, we certainly have the option open to us to review their standing with us. Personally, I am not very open to business as usual with them because my trust in them has been broken. That was by their actions and choices, not mine. I never went to a one of them and said, "Please shun and snub me and yell at me and tell me that I represent everything in the world you hate.".

    Some advised two of my sons to shun me and those who did that will never be forgiven for that. They owe me a debt they can never repay.

    In my opinion it is the people who go along with the shunning and the snubbing and show up at kangaroo courts who enable the system to work. They are the reason it all continues. If all the victims just said no, it would have to stop because there would be no compliance to keep it going. It is the victims who keep it going, not the perpetrators. GaryB

  • Dansk
    Dansk
    it is the people who go along with the shunning and the snubbing and show up at kangaroo courts who enable the system to work. They are the reason it all continues. If all the victims just said no, it would have to stop because there would be no compliance to keep it going. It is the victims who keep it going, not the perpetrators.

    Amen!

    Dansk

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