How did you adjust to the world after leaving JW land ? friends/lonliness ?

by run dont walk 38 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  run dont walk

  How long did it take you to adjust to the real world ??? And make real friends, who didn't care about religion.

  Did you suffer from lonliness and depression after leaving ???

  I've read a lot threads of late, it seems some posters are having a tuff time making a life after JW land, when it comes to friendship and beating lonliness/depression. I think alot of people need a shot in the arm, so what advice and experiences can you offer to help some get over this TOUGH time.

  For me, I got very involved in my work, and I worked with about 20 people, my age, so that made it easy, I was likable and got along with people okay. But it was hard shedding those JW traits, I caught myself serveral times. I have met 1000's of people from all over the world, and have a great time learning from them. (kinda like this board).

  It was hard growing up with no family, and it hurt for a long long long time, but I did get over it and realized, you can't pick your parents, if they choose to treat me like I'm dead, it's their loss.

  I don't know how I did it, but I did, took it one day at a time, and I am a better person today, I never went through the depression thing, I went through that when I was a JW and wondering how do I get out.

  Hopefully, we can help some of those having a tough time right now.

  any thoughts or experiences ??????????
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  onacruse

  rdw, my only, and I think my best, advice, is: reach out to other posters here! Sure, check them out, backwards and forwards. Be careful. A phone call here and there, from a pay-booth if you need to protect your identity. That's cool.

  The main thing is, moving from poster-poster to person-person. It's an incredibly hard step, but imho an absolutely necessary step in our recovery process.

  Craig

  PS: It took me much less than a year to start taking those steps, though I'm still, as Alan Jackson sings, "A Work In Progress."
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  shamus

  I went through the opposite; my depression went away, and I felt better than ever. I did immerse myself in work, and that's about it. Pretty easy time for me, thank god.
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  OICU8it2

  You have the truth of the matter now which is better even if it feels a little strange. Think for yourself. Pray. Stay here. Your friend, oicu8it2
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  unbeliever

  I lead a double life before I left so I already had friends. I felt nothing but relief and adjusted to life just fine. I wanted absolutely nothing to do with the borg after I left. I graduated HS and went away to college. I did not deal with my jw issues which in hindsight was a mistake. I just pushed them aside and moved on with my life. A couple of years ago my brother got in some major shit and his counselor wanted to speak to the whole family for an intervention. A lot of his issues could be traced back to his childhood and being raised in the borg. My brothers crisis (drugs) was a real eye opener for me but I was not quite ready to deal with my past. It took something else that happened a year ago. I wanted to be around people I could relate to so here I am. Reading xjw message boards has been very theraputic.
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  Amazing

  The initial adjustment went very well and at a good pace ... it was the recoil reaction that came a couple of years after the euphoria of freedom wore off.

  As I was planning my family's exit, I was lining up new friends, making contact with old non-JW friends and family ... and when the exit took place for the whole family, we already had a base on which to move and stand. We even found a nice church for a few years.

  But, then after contacting, writing, phone calls and working with people to help them leave the organization - or avoid joining the JWs ... I got tired of it and stopped reading the Bible, stopped praying, and did not discuss religion with anyone ...

  A few years later, I opened up and started dealing with it somewhat ... then I found the ex-JW chat sites, like H20, and started really opening and discovering, and learning ... and this actually brought about a lot of changes for me ... I dropped even more baggage than I realized that I was still carrying around.

  Now ... well after the Big One ... I have a more modest view of everything and enjoy each day as it is. The JWs are sliding further into the background ... so much so that I am starting toforget what it was like ... maybe this is a good point in life to be. - Jim W.
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  cruzanheart

  I had my ups and downs, but I immediately set out to make new friends: neighbors, children's school, co-workers. I got along really well with my co-workers anyway, so they were very supportive of my decision and kindly led me through the process of joining the real world. I made an effort to get to know everyone on my little cul-de-sac to some degree, which amused and amazed the people who had lived there longer than I and knew fewer people. I joined the PTA. I joined this board and a couple of others.

  I'M HAVING A WONDERFUL TIME!

  By the way, a friend of mine from work came to COMF's b'day party, at my invitation, to hear his band play and she told me today that she thinks my friends are really cool. And we are!

  Party on.

  Nina
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  Nikita

  I found a full-time job and immersed myself in it. There, I met a friend who was in every way opposite of me. She complemented me and I her - it was like we had been best friends forever! She got me through all the ups and downs while I made the transitition into "real" life. Those are some happy memories.

  Nikita
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  yxl1

  I didnt miss anyone from JW land...Not one soul. I had problems making friends before and after, and felt that I didnt fit in with any group.Its been 10 years since we've left the Dubs and I still dont have many friends, but I've realised thats just the way I am. One or two friends is more than enough for me. I dont think it had anything to do with the Dubs. My wife on the otherhand has a huge circle of friends and enjoys socializing as much as possible. At least now she has true friends, something she felt she could never have while being a Dub, and she's never been happier, ..and because of that I'm happy coz she's my best friend
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  Latin assassin from Manhattan

  When you don't have to spend so many days out of the week serving the borg, you have more time for hobbies and REAL personal development (working out, learning a new skill). Along the way, you can make alot of friends as I have. Provided the borg hasn't drained you of all your social ability, you should be fine.