Single Sisters Over A Certain Age Group Getting A Bad Rap

by HiddlesWife 72 Replies latest social relationships

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  TD

  If we're talking about sexual attraction (And I'm honestly not sure if the OP is or not....) then we cannot blame people for seeking out the most attractive person who will have them within any given social group.

  That is a human thing, not a male or female thing and there is plenty of hard data showing that women are every bit as superficial when given the opportunity. Several of the major dating sites on the internet actually released hard metrics a few years ago suggesting that women are actually more picky than men. Of course you can't blame them for this (Assuming it's true) inasmuch as women are the ones who up until fairly recently in the grand scheme of things, risked their lives simply by having sex.

  The scarcity of men within the JW faith makes it tough for women and I'm not unsympathetic, but the 40/60 ratio of men to women in this religion is an anomaly which defies common sense explanations.
  
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  LongHairGal

  Yes, this attitude in the religion is true which partly explains why I stayed on the fringes until I left.

  I noticed all the "good" men in the Witness religion were taken and usually came into the religion married. I had no intention of settling for brothers who were unattractive or downright crazy, even though other sisters did!

  The fact is that any sister over 30 had to look outside the religion because the pickings there were a laugh.

  I was also aware of the fact that certain men who are older (late 30s early 40s) had their eyes on young teenage girls and didn't want somebody a little older. I heard a story of somebody who was told to get lost by such a girl's father! Whether this was because the older sisters had baggage or if he's just attracted to the young, I don't know. However, if this was a middle eastern country, these poor girls would be forced to marry these older guys.

  All I can say is that I'm glad I'm OUT of the Witness religion. They are looking for money and women to do favors. They'll get neither from me.
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  HiddlesWife

  Firstly, I'd like to thank everyone who answered this thread thus far--It feels good to be welcomed.

  Secondly, @TD: The age group I'm referring to is 25 years of age and younger. I'm quite perturbed about this factor because, since I work for an educational system in the city l'm presently residing in, there are students as young as 21-23 years old attending G.E.D. and adult alternative classes/courses with high school students (who are ranging from the ages of 14-17 themselves!). These young people, when they cross the sill of the doors of the school building, they have to abide by the rules and regulations outlined for them--just as the 14-17 years have to. As a matter of fact, a great deal of the adult employees working at that venue, informed me that these 21-23 year olds are considered minors and are treated as such.

  @OrphanCrow: Lots of these brothers also have these sisters as Trophy Wives. One young sister, (who used to attend the congregation which I attend occasionally and who is now delinquent) was always repeatedly using this phrase, when she, a few other single sisters (young and middle-aged) plus myself, talking on this topic: "Remember: Most bros want=> Pretty faces and small waists! Unfortunately!". Some brothers are doing this no doubt because either: (A) since JWs are hated by a number of people (due to the obvious) may consider an age difference a problem and (B) some do not possess any potentials to actual look for in a marriage mate (i.e., physical attributes, personalities, financial status/very decent income, etc.). So, they want to do the above to make themselves look like they have some form of "swagger" when they go out in public.

  @blondie: I know what are talking about. Many sisters (including my female relatives and close friends) were considered "desperados" after turning 30+; we were even encouraged by some elders and some elderly ones to wait on Jehovah and be a member of the "After-Armageddon Club". However, in one cong. I was attending a couple decades back, when some of the 20 year old girls started to auxiliary pioneer, one Bethelite couple brought brothers (age group: between 25 or 30- 50 y.o.a.) to get hooked up and eventually hitched.

  This has been one of many aspects of discouragement for me in the Org.
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  Quarterback

  Well that depends. If age is in the cards, you've got to improve your hand.

  If you are semi rich, have a nice car, home, you could probably get a reg. pioneer. I know a local situation where a young single reg pioneer married a 70 year old widow. He was her tenant.
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  OrphanCrow

  HiddlesWife: This has been one of many aspects of discouragement for me in the Org

  Good.

  It should be

  Women have the least power in the JW cult. That is why there is such a disportionate number of women who stay in...they are stripped of their power to the point that they remain perpetual captives. When you clip the wings of a bird, they can no longer fly
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  TD

  Secondly, @TD: The age group I'm referring to is 25 years of age and younger. I'm quite perturbed about this factor because, since I work for an educational system in the city l'm presently residing in, there are students as young as21-23 years old attending G.E.D. and adult alternative classes/courses with high school students (who are ranging from the ages of 14-17 themselves!). These young people, when they cross the sill of the doors of the school building, they have to abide by the rules and regulations outlined for them--just as the 14-17 years have to. As a matter of fact, a great deal of the adult employees working at that venue, informed me that these 21-23 year olds are considered minors and are treated as such.

  I guess I'm still not understanding your use of the terms "accepting" and "rejecting."

  Are we talking about single women, married women or both? Are we talking about their status in the JW community as in who gets called on at meetings, etc.? Or are we talking about romantic relationships and physical attraction?

  
  
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  LaurenM

  I think the problem is that in the JW world, a female is considered "successful" and happy only if she gets married. She is considered unhappy and miserable and pitied if she is single. This is absolutely ridiculous. Happiness does not depend on ones marital status. Happiness comes from within. Being with someone else can bring you happiness or sadness depending on ones state of mind. That's why so many JW marriages are miserable.
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  steve2

  It's a man's world, in religion or not. But it is more of a man's world in religion - especially patriarchal, Abrahamic ones (Judaism, Christianity and Islam).

  It is an irony that men devise, develop and dominate leadership of religions and females flock to become slave-like followers more than twice as frequently as do males (and in some countries such as Japan, 75% of some congregations are female).

  So, if you are a female within a highly authoritarian religion, your pool of potential suitors is very reduced, but if you're male on the look-out for a wife, you will have a field day. Sad or happy - depending on your gender.

  JWs pride themselves on being "different" from the world's religions, whereas in fact, they simply reflect a more extreme version of what prevails in most other manmade religious groups. Patriarchy rules, okay - ask the seven men on the Governing Body and the male elders of every single Kingdom Hall worldwide.
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  prologos

  so, if the religion is so terrible on females, why are they in a majority flocking, sticking to it? and why do the males stick and are attracted to the already perfect females, prior to paradise? like the song said: "You are decorating my life"? I am with TD: define your topic. I really appreciate talking to intelligent ladies, of all ages; even those that wield their power without the males, including their husband, noticing it.
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  stillin

  I think that the "problem" with women who remain single into their thirties is that they are probably smart, independent and able to do without a man. This is not a welcome thing with those people. Men worry that, if their wives spend time with such a woman, they will start getting ideas. Women are probably jealous, truth be told, of a woman who has managed without a man, children and all of the traditional family-oriented stuff.