Single Sisters Over A Certain Age Group Getting A Bad Rap (page 6)

Late Bloomer

riddle What part of Popeye never gets rusty?

His pipe?

Sisters get 'rejected' by brothers? Umm - call me old fashioned, but it's up to the brothers to do the asking out at the risk of getting rejected, surely? The onus is for the man to provide for his wife, not the other way around. However, I have noticed that most brothers (but not all) over 40 tend to be interested in sisters half their age. But this trend is among non JW's too... I overheard a brother I know, who will soon be marrying his fourth wife (she is 25 years younger), tell a mutual friend that his fiancée and her children make him feel young... Unfortunately there is not much middle-aged women can do about this, unless you think becoming high maintenance and spending all your time and money at the hairdresser's in order to look like your hair still grows blonde, brown, red or black, is worth it. Try joining jwmatch.com, and see which brothers write to you. But as with all dating agencies, there will be some con artists lurking there too, so be vigilant! All the best :)

babygirl30

I clearly remember being 18 and having brothers in their late 30s coming at me and expressing interest. A family I was close to tried very hard to hook me up with a 45yr old man when I was 21...and I was so disgusted. At 20-something, all I wanted was to travel and have fun, not settle down with this 'old man' who had already been divorced (wife cheated on him and left).

By the time I reached my 30s, dating brothers, having Bethelites come to my hall to 'meet me', and never having any issue meeting men at all - I had already made it yp in my mind that I was NOT interested in any JW brother. I wanted ambition, a real life, and good sex...lol...things I felt no brother could give me. And the rest is history! (Happily). But too many gf's of mine in the org were in a hurry to get married, and most did marry the first brother that came along. As a woman of color also, I had the opposite scenario, even in my 30s. Thirsty and weird brothers that wanted so badly to be married that basically threw themselves at me...but thank God I knew my worth and that I could do better!

The org really is male dominated, and the chances of a sister getting married after 30 is slim. Khalls are full of 30, 40, and 50yr women, single, no kids...still holding out for God to send them a good man. SMDH.

Chook

When elders are instructed that no sister in any circumstance touch and elders book, the you know that is their place in life, straight from GB.

Jahlove

Just wanted to put it out there that word on the street is that

40's the new 20

Ps think I also read that chicks live 10 years longer than duds

LongHairGal

BABYGIRL30:

Your post is accurate. I'm glad you knew your worth and did not settle for "unappealing" brothers who showed an interest in you. I had the same experience and was made to feel who the hell do I think I am.

It's true that after age 30 generally speaking there are few prospects for a single woman in the Witness religion, even a good-looking woman. If that same over-30 woman ALSO wants a brother who is attractive, sane and with a job her chances are zero.

Yes the halls are filled with single women over age 50..Sadly, they are just viewed as targets to do favors for all the users. I had no intention of being lumped together with them!

Mickey mouse

I think JW culture is very uncomfortable with single women because there's a view that a woman is under the headship of her father and then her husband. A single woman over a certain age doesn't fall neatly under any man's jurisdiction, especially once she has left her father's home.

We may still be a way off gender equality but my experience outside of the organisation is like night and day compared to the misogyny I experienced in the org.

Skepsis

Quite interesting thread.

I think for both women and men is hard to find a partner inside the WT. In many areas the number of available men and women is reduced. Sometimes there's no one you really feel compatible with.

The fact that there are more over-30 single women than men is not that men has it easier to find a partner but that if men are still single at that age, many quit the religion and find outside instead of keep waiting. Women tend to get attached to the religion despite they are unhappy.

And why? Well, I think men at 30 have been living how the WT really is if they have served as MS or elders. Yes, the WT has a patriarchal structure where it's more important to be a man than to have a brain to get appointed but it also means that all the work and responsibilities are assigned to men and in that way it's easier for men to find out the TTATT about the religion.

Regarding age, I'm almost 30 and since I broke up with my exgirlfriend, elders have been insisting on me that it's not so bad to be single for your whole life and it can help you to serve Jehovah better. Of course I'm not searching for a partner inside the Organisation but if I were, it would be very hard and elders know it.

Add to the fact that there is a limited number of possible partners, that it's not encouraged to get alone with someone to speak with him/her and know that person and it becomes very difficult to date if you're an adult. I heard of a brother and a sister in their 30s being admonished by the elders because they were having a coffee alone! That environment is so insane! Are you supposed to be in your 30s and need someone to supervise you?

It's another sad situation created by the WT.

zeb

I recall an elderette whose personal task it was to separate un married people who were having a conversation.

She made quite a pain in the butt of herself doing this.

waton

Interesting how mature single sisters (single for different reasons) cope with not having achieved power status in the congregation via marriage, and a husband to dominate or manipulate (whatever is worse).

Single Sisters Over A Certain Age Group Getting A Bad Rap