My two week consulting trip to Bethel (the beginning of the end) Part 5

by seven006 105 Replies latest jw friends

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  Blueblades

  I have two sons,I could cry along with you,I could feel your pain.You have put us in your shoes,still walking along with you.

  Blueblades
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  willyloman

  Jeez, Dave, tell us how you REALLY feel!

  Seriously, this tome is filled with excellent points, many of which have or will be commented on by others. Here's just one excellent "truth" that emerges from your latest installment:

  The JW's call it incidental witnessing, I called it the elders trick for keeping your hours up. If the JW's used punch in time clocks instead of a time slip based on the honor system the hours they reported to the world every year would be cut by 80%.

  As a former secretary who used to compile the time from the publishers in our congo, I can attest that your estimate is very close to the mark. As an young elder, I was once actually assigned by the body to go and talk with an older sister about her time. I took an even younger MS with me on this "shepherding" assignment. Our task was to point out that her method of counting time was much more strict and literal than was necessary. It seems one of the elder's wives had come home from working in service with her and complained to her husband that while everybody else in the car group was out for 2 and a half hours that day, this sister only "counted" 45 minutes. In not keeping that tally to herself, she had apparently made the rest of the car group feel bad (I am not making this up). Therefore, we were to counsel her about expressing strong opinions about a personal matter such as counting time, and in the process give her some things to think about in terms of counting these all important hours.

  Picture two young idiots explaining to this woman, who had more time in service than both of us put together would ever have, that she was "righteous overmuch" in the way she kept track of her time and that she should not impose her personal opinion on others in this regard.

  I'll never forget the sister pulling a small ringed notebook out of her book bag and walking us through the most recent service day. She started her time only when she actually knocked on her first door and in this case some of the sisters had wanted to make a "few return visits" to "start their time." Since she remained in the car while two others got out and went to these doors, she explained, she didn't feel she could in good conscience start her own time until she herself actually got out of the car. Thus, by the time they got to the territory and door-to-door work, almost an hour had lapsed since their arrival at the hall that morning. Following 45 minutes of doorstep activity, someone announced they had a study to go on and they drove back to the hall to drop off two of their coworkers. She didn't count that time, she said, because she wasn't really "out in service." By the time they left the hall parking lot, her partner needed a cup of coffee. She insisted on little coffee shop she liked that was three or four miles from the hall and it was 15 minutes before they were sipping their cups.

  The sister wanted to talk about some family problems involving her teenagers, and they whiled away almost half an hour. Then the sister doing the driving said she just had time for one more call before they quit at noon. They drove to an address a couple of miles away, found the street, cruised slowly past the obviously empty house, and the driver decided there was no sense in stopping and knocking on the door. She turned around and headed back to the hall, arriving at just after 12 noon.

  On arriving, the driver, who was also the elder's wife mentioned above, turned off the car, extracted her field service "book" from her bag, clicked open a ballpoint pen and said, "Well, let's see, that's about two and a half hours."

  The sister we had gone to visit recalled this whole morning in vivid detail and presented it to us in the most matter of fact way, not appearing to be judgmental at all. At this point in the story, still holding her notebook, just said, "All I said to her was, I'm going to take 45 minutes. That's all I really did."

  The young MS with me, who was a pioneer, then launched into a learned rant about the way to count time, a very liberal application of mathematics which he had learned in his "full time work." The phrase "pioneer pace" came up in his monologue, and did the words "it's up to your conscience."

  I stare back in wonder as these memories come to mind. It's all because of your heartfelt, beautifully written account, Dave. Thanks.

  And dont forget to count your time for this! It takes about an hour to read all five parts, and I suppose in good conscience you could multiply that by the hundreds or thousands of people who read your post. You've got pioneer hours in anyone's book. Keep up the fine work!
• 

  DanTheMan

  Wow, that's some powerful stuff. I'm sure it wasn't easy to share so much personal info. My life story isn't similar to your's, except for the fact that I have so much sh*t that I regret, I can empathize there.
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  shotgun

  Damn you Dave....Your bringing out my feminine side by making me well up with tears.

  Thanks so much for sharing your life with us.
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  nilfun

  Very moving...
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  Big Tex

  Painful chapter, but told well. I appreciate your honesty and candor. It gives your story credibility.

  I know it must be hard, but thanks for going to the trouble of sharing a part of your life with the rest of us.
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  Frannie Banannie

  Dave, you are a true mensch....Is there a 12-step program that comes with these publications for those who become addicted to your writings?

  Frannie B
• 

  seven006

  Ash,

  Yep, it was hard times, it got even harder for a while but every Sunday that I can, I drive over to Nathan's house and play with my 8 month old grand daughter. That seems to makes anything I have had to deal with in my life all wroth it. Right now things are looking pretty damn good.

  jgnat,

  You're welcome.

  Freedom96,
  Ya, that was tough to write. The experience killed me too. Damn little kids get into your heart and nothing else seems to matter.

  Stinky Pantz,
  For a guy who doesn't talk about his personal life much I'm starting to feel like a jerk writing all this stuff. But if it helps just one person open their eyes up a bit I can deal with feeling like a jerk for a while. Iv had a lot of practice over the years with that.

  Gypsywildone,
  I think so too. The more information that gets out about the "real world of JW's might keep a few people from listening to their sugar coated bullshit at the doors.

  Teejay,
  I can't be funny all the time. You should try writing something this long. You write as well if not better than I do, Iv seen it. Please take this next comment as creative criticism from a friend who likes and cares about you, if you got your head out of your ass long enough to see the positive things you could bring to this board instead of the negative you'd have a lot more people on this board see the good in you that I do. That came from the heart pal. You have my number now, maybe you should use it.

  ballistic,
  When did you learn how to read? ...just messe'n with ya. Remember, part 3 is buried in the second page of part 2.

  wannaexit,
  This is all I can do for now. I need to get back to my illustration projects. The rest of the story is boring. It's all about me learning how to learn and having sex with cocktail waitresses and pro foot ball cheerleaders. I almost die once and I learn what the meaning of life is. I turn down a few business opportunities that could have made me a multi millionaire and my concept of beauty changes. I lived with an exJW woman who was a tad bit insane and I meet Alan F. and we become great friends. Except for the sex part, it's fairly boring.

  drwtsn32,
  I have seen the JW's use that word so many times to cover their asses it makes me want to puke. Just like the way they use the bible, they can twist it to mean anything they want.

  Jorlbear,
  Knowing something and completely accepting it as truth not only in your head but you heart are two different things. Next time you start missing your JW family and friends, remember this and remember what you know to be the truth.

  Upandatom,
  Your comments on this thread are one of the reasons I keep writing this stuff. I have started a few books before but after a while reality kicks in and I realize I'm not a writer, I'm an artist and I should stick to what I know how to do. I have a few chapters written on a book I started a few years ago titled "Exodus from Geneses." I have thought about putting my life story into a book before and someday just might do it. I appreciate the title suggestion but if I ever do make this into a book I have already come up with the title. "My life as an idiot."

  Simon.
  I knew the part about my boys would get to you. You have two sons yourself, be happy you can watch them grow up every day. That's something I missed out on in my sons lives. I'm sure you already do this but you should take Ang into your arms and thank her every day for being intelligent and loving enough and go along with you to understand why you went from being a JW to owning the largest tool on the planet that helps exJW's learn to restart their lives as well as a place for JW's to find the truth about the truth. You are one of my true heroes in life. Thank you.

  Prins Vaillant,
  If there is a Dutch exjw site that you are on feel free to do what you like with the things I wrote.

  Perry,
  Thanks for the kind words, As I have said before, I say it like I see it. I don't know where it came from but after leaving the JW's I developed a real knack for cutting through the bullshit and getting to the point.

  Fe203girl,
  I'm glad you like it. Iv met a few women who grew up in England none of them thought they had much chance of going to the moon either. England's space program is a little behind the American one.

  Aztec,
  Sorry about that. That will teach you to read this board before you had your coffee. I hate it when I say something that makes women cry.

  Danny,
  I feel for ya pal and know exactly how you feel. Leaving that screwed up religion also meant leaving my sons for a while. I'm happy to say that they want nothing to do with that religion now so it made the pain I had to go through worth it. Send this story to your daughter and see if she will read it.

  Back at'cha with a guy hug three pats on the back kind'a love thing.

  Timeout,
  Thanks, You just never know. Someone may be reading this and all of a sudden the lights will turn on. It's all up to them and whether they have the ability to be truly honest with themselves. Being raised a JW that is a very hard thing to do.

  Blueblades,
  If it wasn't for my sons I would have blown my brains out a long time ago. I have had the gun to my head three times in my life and the thought of my sons kept me from pulling the trigger. Not putting the bullets in the gun helped too. I may have been sick, but I wasn't crazy.

  willyloman,
  "Two young idiots." You nailed it pal. I look back on my life and wonder how I could have been such an idiot for such a long part of it. The JW's have to keep their people clueless and in a constant state of being an idiot to keep them in line. It's quite a shock when that fact finely hits the ones who actually have a brain and it finally kicks in. The sad part is once they come to that reality a new one shows up. What do I do? What about my family? The certainly have you trapped.

  "Counting time" the only other time I have heard that phrase used is by prisoners serving time in prison. It makes you think doesn't it?

  DanTheMan,
  As I said, I don't like talking about my personal life but what the hell, I'm on a roll. Next time I meet someone who wants to know about my life, all I have to do is give them a link to this site and save myself a lot of time. No wonder the JW's warn people about using the Internet.

  Shotgun,
  Quit being such a wossy. Grab a drink and go watch football. That's what I do.

  Nilfun,
  Someone had to move you, you talk way too much.

  Big Tex,
  Ya, it was hard but it all works out in the end.

  Frannie,
  Thanks, If you like this stuff you should see the paintings in my head that I am going to put on canvas soon. I love making women cry, it's a hobby.

  Thanks guys. My tired fingers also thank you. As I told Randy Waters in an e-mail, my hands and fingers are so tired and sore from writing all this I don't think I'll be able to have sex for a week.

  Dave
• 

  czarofmischief

  Well done...

  Looking eagerly forward to part 6!

  CZAR
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  Wren

  On all parts: Wow!

  Congrats on surviving so well, now, through your 30th.