I can't do it anymore. (page 4)

seven006

Gadget.

A simple question to ask yourself is do you want the elders in the congregation running your life and your marriage? You might ask your girlfriend that. If she says yes, it's already over. If she thinks about it and says no, you might have a fighting chance. Either way it looks like you have already come to a well thought out and logical conclusion. Now all you have to do is make that compulsion, a decision. It's tough to do, but not near as tough as it would be living a lie in a new marriage.

I agree with the others who say show her this board. That is bound to send her one way or the other. You don't have anything to loose that you don't have already. Either way there is going to be some pain and regrets on both sides. Life is full of them, all we can do is try to keep them at a minimum.

Dave

Hamas

When Kruschev was forced out, he sat down and wrote two letters and handed them to his successor. He said "When you get into a situation you can't get out of, open the first letter and you'll be saved. And when you get into another situation you can't get out of, open the second."

Soon enough this guy found himself in a tight place. So he opened the first letter. It said,

"Blame everything on me."

So he blamed the old guy and it worked like a charm.

He got into another situation he couldn't get out of, so he opened the second letter, which read,

"Sit down and write two letters."

....

I hope things work out well for you soon, my friend.

termite 35

(((Gadget))) i'm sorry that all this is happening to you. It's a lot to cope with, and when you feel responsible for someone else's happiness makes it so much harder to walk away from a relationship.

You have done so much to make sure your g/f is looked after and cared for personally and professionally; you should feel proud of yourself. You've done so much for her, and this maybe your final act of kindness. As others have said you owe it to be honest and can't really have a good start in a marriage with all these problems stacked against you.

I think perhaps the timing is just unfortunate...who knows...? in a while she may come to the same conclusions as you and you may get together in the future. As long as she is undecided and a little confused you'll have the continual pull of the org and your own concience-which makes life so difficult.

Could you perhaps suggest that you meet up in, say, 1 year's time and see whats going on in your lives then?

maybe when you ar'nt so accessible she may take more responsibility for her own beliefs and will try to sort herself out, that way there's no pressure for her to be at your stage now...as she's got more searching to do...and things to sort out...

At least then it softens the blow a little which will ease your mind and allows you some time to get yourself used to all the changes that you're making too.

hope the call went ok...

LittleToe

I can't add anything to what's already been stated.
I just wanted you to know that you have my sympathies.
Don't forget to take care of yourself, in all of this, too.

Gadget

I've been on the phone to her for the last hour and a half or so. I told her how I feel about everything, and she was very upset, that its the worst thing to ever happen to her, worse than when her ex beat her up and raped her. That if I feel that way she doesn't want me in her life, and if I'm not there theres nothing to live for and she's going to kill herself. She hung up and I can't get back in through to her.

carm

I can't do it anymore.

seven006

Hamas

termite 35

LittleToe

Gadget

Elsewhere

LittleToe

Elsewhere

Odrade

Carmel

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