Interesting thread, folks. My experiences are more like JT’s, though perhaps he did make unsupported sweeping statements.
I have known a few (let me emphasize, far too few) JW elders like Hillary_Step. I suspect the HS’ perspective is distorted somewhat. He probably is a kind and caring elder. He probably has a strong presence. His strong presence coupled with his caring approach sweeps other elders along in a positive way; therefore HS’ experiences have been far more positive than what many of us have experienced. At least that is my guess.
What should not be lost in this discussion is the GB direction to new elders - that they learn from more experienced elders. Here is what often happens – it happened in my case too: new elder (yours truly) accepts appointment with enthusiasm wants to help the weak and afflicted. Older, long-time elder, the one that Bro. new elder should look up to and learn from has a harsh approach, says that Sister Afflicted has had many chances, just isn’t trying and to top it all, she has a bad attitude. New elder, mindful that he has so much to learn and so much less experience, in fact he has no experience as an elder, defers to the approach of Bro. Elder Experienced. Oh yes, he has some doubts about this harsh approach, but he looks around and all the other elders seem comfortable with what is happening, so he settles back in his chair and lets it happen. This scenario is played over and over on issue after issue.
The most outrageous display of bullying I ever observed was while I was a teenager. Our CO was a nice guy; so was his wife. As far as I knew he was a caring CO. He invited me to have a small part in a demo at the Circuit Assembly. We were to rehearse in front of the DO. The DO was late, so the CO was having us run through our parts. When the DO arrived he soon began to berate the CO in a loud voice, right there on the stage and in front of all of us who were part of the demo. His condemnation of the CO went on and on. I thought the DO was totally out of place in every aspect of the incident. The CO kept his mouth shut and took the belittling. It was my first experience of extreme bullying within the JWs. There would be more.
One issue that should not be lost in this discussion is the fact that most JW elders, as J R Brown put it so well, are untrained volunteers. Many other religions at least require that their leaders have some training in appropriate skills, including sociology, psychology, counseling, etc. in addition to religious studies. As JT puts it so well, JW elders are often nothing more than cracker men. Some elders are smart, untrained usually, but smart nevertheless. Their smarts can be helpful, but often makes them dangerous. Others are neither smart nor trained. These men can sometimes be the greatest impediments to helpful actions by elders.
Men who could not "make it" in the "world" can become "big wheels" in the JW community. My own dad is an example of this phenomenon. He is a nice guy, but lacks the know-how it be effective as a leader in the business world where he worked for many years; yet he has been a congregation servant and elder for over 60 years. He is a "society man" through and through. His "Bible" is everything printed by the WTS, though he has a way of forgetting the old stuff.
One last point I want to make is that elder body conduct can vary markedly from community to community. I have known many elders who were at least tolerable, but many in my experience have been incompetent at best, tyrannical at worst.
