Reverse Shunning (page 4)

mommy1

My Dad and Brother do the hot and cold treatment with me. My brother's *itch sorry I mean wife totally shuns me. She got all pissed off one day when my brother was talking to me on the phone and she came home and caught him. I could hear her in the background "you can't be talking to her, I don't want you associating with her, get off the phone" My brother like the robot he has become said yes dear and then said he had to go.

My Dad calls me. I let him make the effort to call, I do not call him. Kind of my way of saying I don't need you and can make it without you.

mommy1

sorry about the double post.

garybuss

The Witness's goal with shunning is to inflict pain on us. The only way they can do that is if we let them. I have told my shunners that by their shunning they have not hurt me, they have angered me and they are not welcome in my life anymore. Their shunning was a deal breaker. "The end!"

If they leave the Witnesses, I want nothing to do with them. They are gone from my life. My time and my gifts are spent on those who have been nice to me. Watch Tower slime suckers get zip. Burp . . .

bluesapphire

Gary, I feel the same exact way. I used to cry over my sister shunning me. Now I say, even if she gets out I'm through with her. She's on her own. She shuns me even though she technically doesn't have to. That's just too much to forgive!

Perry

What an awesome and healing thread. My sincere thanks for all the personal stories.

gumby

Hey stinker,

You have hit on a big question.

What makes your situation hard to take, is the hypocracy they show in their beliefs. Your family by rights......should NOT call you at all to hear your voice. They should ONLY be calling you for any needed BUISNESS matters if any.

This is the part that make you want to scream. They are so loyal that they will not take you out to lunch, go places with you, come over for a nice chat,.............because your DFed........but they will brake the rules to call you. They get their cake and eat it too.

What should you do? Be glad your parent(s) will speak at all, as many do not have that privledge. If you have a closeness with your folks.....enjoy it while you can, even if they are being hypocrits........they brainwashed as were we and believe idiotic beliefs....as did we. Until they are free....if ever, then give them that break.

Kisses,

Gumby

Yerusalyim

Keep talking to Mom, you might be her only link to reality.

Stacy Smith

again sound advice Yeru.

Although I'm an exdub I almost feel like an outsider reading all this as my parents were the only dubs in the family and we all left together.

But I do feel the urge to reverse shun those that actually shun me. I mentioned this before but I try to do what my parents do. Whenver we see any dub we go out of our way to say hi, big happy smiles, hugs if we can, the works. Dad says we are their only link to reality. Ex dubs that are happy and loving.

So Stinky I sure can imagine the pain you feel, but I know I don't totally understand it. If the pain is too great I think I'd break it off,, but of course you have to decide.

SheilaM

Stinky: YOU have to do what is right for you. From our conversations I personally feel that it would be best if you told your Mom, that right now you need to heal and that you can't do that if she is calling tearing you apart each time

.I had to do that with my Mom my sister kept pusthing me to call her although she didn't really remember who I was. I finally realized that my wanting to please my sister was just killing me each and every time I called my Mom. Here my Mom didn't remember talking to me but I lived with the pain.

SP sometimes we can only protect ourselves and if you need a Mom I volunteer.

StinkyPantz

Cruz-

I think the solution is NOT TO DIE, which sometimes is easier said than done.

Well, trust me. . this is my first option .

Else-

Just as with me, it is just a matter of time before they hurt you more than you love them.

<Sigh> Why does that sound so horrible and yet true?

Bug-

You have numerous friends right here on this board and if you go to the upcoming apostafest you will really learn just how sincere these friends are. Talk with Joy, Jst2Laws, Cruzanheart, Big Tex and I promise you will come away feeling a lot better.

I wish I could go, but there are personal and financial issues keeping me away. Nevertheless I have kept in contact via IM and phone with several nearby.

Gopher-

This thread is painful to read, yet so necessary for us (who have JW parents) to discuss. The issues involved cannot be ignored. SP thanks for starting the thread.

You're welcome. If my pain helps someone, that honestly helps me feel better.

In some cases it has gone to the point where the parents have (1) seemed to have disowned you, (2) refuse to respond/converse naturally when asked to do so, (3) blame their children for the circumstance (after all -- you left JEHOVAH !!) rather than acknowleding that they are the ones that have pulled the plug on a normal relationship, and (4) wish to control all aspects of the relationship -- they want to see the grandkids on their terms, but won't acknowledge any of your desires/needs.

OMG, you have described my situation perfectly!! It's SO sad that this keeps happening over and over again.

Doc-

But I fear it is only temporary.

I fear this as well, although I do hope otherwise for both of your sakes.

Perry-

What an awesome and healing thread.

I'm glad that my threads are appreciated. . .

Gumby-

Their actions do seem to be a bit contradictory. You say I should give them a break, but I feel bad whenever I talk to my mom. My heart hurts . . .I cry. . .it sucks. . .

((Sheila))-

From our conversations I personally feel that it would be best if you told your Mom, that right now you need to heal and that you can't do that if she is calling

Good idea! This is what I am, going to do.

SP sometimes we can only protect ourselves and if you need a Mom I volunteer.

I just about cried when I read this. . .

Reverse Shunning

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