Someone is hurting

donkey

I am writing this thread because I hope it fosters some positive communication although I may end up being deleted for it.

To start with a discliamer: I am no fan of StinkyPantz posts - they just aren't that interesting to me.

That being said I now see SP was deleted. My first reaction to that was anger. SP posted stuff about being close to a nervous breakdown, wishing she could just "disappear" etc....she is obviously someone in pain right now.

We have been constantly censured about how this is a place of healing and we need to keep it that way for people who need healing, support and comfort.

So I only hope SP has been "temporarily suspended" (not deleted) for HER OWN GOOD and no because she pissed off some moderator. Otherwise this is all a big lie - we don't care about those people in pain or who are hurting. You can label me a shit stirrer or whatever guys - I don't really care. I say this because this has happened to me on here -I have been in terrible amounts of anguish and internal pain in the past when I posted here and I got deleted - true I did some things that contravened the "rules" - but isn't this what we are trying to accomplish - a place with love and consolation not a place of harsh rules. When I was deleted I was crushed.... True my perspectives needed some changing - but all I can say is that the place worked contrary to its main selling point. We don't all fell pain in the same way or over the same issues - we all had our own problems with the JWs, so perhaps we should try and realize that we cannot just judge everyone by our rule book or how we feel. Of course i realize those with the gun have the power to pull the trigger or to refrain from doing so...

Now I know we are going through a mass purge and this thread and my account might get deleted. If that is true so be it guys. That being said - please try and read WHAT I am saying (do not take this as me attacking your fine work and countless hours).

Sincerely and with all good intent (and ass kissing if that's what it takes for people to realize the effects might be working in complete opposition tothe stated goals of the site)

Donkey

drwtsn32

You all should know that she was deleted at her own request.

So I only hope SP has been "temporarily suspended" (not deleted) for HER OWN GOOD and no because she pissed off some moderator.

She asked to be deleted because she needs a break to heal...not because she pissed off a moderator.

BTW, I don't agree with you re SP's posts not being interesting. She's one of my favorite posters!

donkey

DRW,

She asked to be deleted because she needs a break to heal...not because she pissed off a moderator.
BTW, I don't agree with you re SP's posts not being interesting. She's one of my favorite posters!

Well - I base that upon what we see. What I saw was people telling her to "quit being a drama queen" etc this morning.

Also, I know many people like her posts...I am glad for that.

The moderators have to realize we as the board peons interperet things by what we see and read. There is no getting around that, so if stuff is "in the back room" that's fine but they should anticipate (amd IMHO tolerate) the reactions such as the one I posted, in lieu of not communicating decisions.

Phantom Stranger

I see some interesting posts, and a lot of lashing out - which corresponds to what Donkey is saying. I hope she progresses and heals and moves forward in her life. Best Wishes, and SP, may you have all the things you wish for.

Xandria

Donkey,

Unfortunately, some people don't realize that people need to vent and release certain things it is part of the healing process. Some interalize it, some lash out and others ( they know who they are) take it personally. SP, has been told she is an bad influence here and basically made to feel unwelcome. She is hurting and going through a rough time. Instead of making matters worse.. some need to back off of the pithy comments and let her re-balance herself.

X.

drwtsn32

Well - I base that upon what we see. What I saw was people telling her to "quit being a drama queen" etc this morning.

Sorry Donkey... I wasn't criticizing you for asking. Your first conclusion was completely reasonable. I just wanted people to know that she was removed at her own request.

donkey

DRW,

I am only asking these questions to see if the moderators realize what "we" feel, think and experience as recipients of the actions they take. feedback is one of the core components to any job.

Donkey

drwtsn32

donkey...I agree!

Phantom Stranger

I am happy to provide support and understanding, but I do not visit this board to be a punching bag for someone during their healing process. If they want to experiment with pushing their former boundaries in how they communicate with others, that's great - but who am I to rip them off from the opportunity to deal with the results?

Sassy

Having sat as both admin and moderator in the past, I have to speak on behalf of them. Unless any of those have taken on the job personally of the responsibility of being in such a position, be slow to jump to conclusions. It is easy for any member to come in here and if you don't like something, jump in and post a thread complaining about what we think isn't right. Sure we risk the fact that someone can delete our thread (thus giving more weight for our reasons for complaint) but we have our say and at least a few will have heard us at the minimum. How often do you see a mod or admin post a thread about the difficulties of doing their job? When they have bad days and people are coming down on them for what they 'think' isn't right, they can't just make a post and ask for sympathy or allies. It just isn't done and only causes more divisions on the board. Nor do any of us see the times they get the emails or private messages on them for NOT taking action against what some post on the board. You just don't know the pressure put on them nor do any of us know all sides to a story when someone is deleted. They are in a no win situation. Damned if they do and damned if they don't. I know I don't have any idea of what is going on for instance with SP. I saw the post about the breakdown. I saw the post taunting them for deletion. Maybe it was a cry for help and maybe they didn't make a good choice. BUT maybe there is more to it than any of us know. Maybe a time out was needed. But the thing is, how much do we really know? so how much can we really judge?

Someone is hurting

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