My turn to ask some questions

by Lady Lee 62 Replies latest jw friends

Shutterbug
When you first came here what did you expect? I really wasn't sure what to expect. After all, this was an apostate site, but I was hoping for answers--I got those answers

What were you looking for? See above.

Did you find it and if so how? My Elder brother suggested I look on the net for the Watchtowers view on child abuse. Guess he didn't realize there are other sites there such as this one.

If you were looking for information how did you look for it - See above.
ask a question?
wander through the threads?
use the search utility?
other?

Where there other places that helped you find what you were looking for? If so where?

How did you feel coming here at first? A bit afraid, but wanting answers.

How long did you read before signing up and posting? Don't remember.

What made you feel safe enough to post that first time? I didn't feel safe at first. Just took a chance and jumped in.

If you came across some of the flaming on here, how did you feel and what convinced you to stay?The flame wars and some of the foul language discourged me at first, but I soon realized there is some very valuable information here.
If you have been here for a while now
How do you feel over-all about this website? Overall, this is a great web site
Do you still come here for the same reasons as you came in the beginning? No, I come here to associate with people with similar backgrounds.
How has the board changed? It has been toned down considerably, thanks to Simons efforts.
How does this affect you? In a positive way
Have you thought of leaving? If yes then why stay? What keeps you coming back? I find this board interesting and I am still learning. Plus I have made some very good friends who still post here.
What do you see as the main goal for this board? To help others who wish to get the WTS out of their lives, and do what we can for those who have been so horribly abused. Also to get different viewpoints on a number of subjects.
Don't feel like you have to answer them all. Pick the ones you want to answer
onacruse
When you first came here what did you expect?
I expected the same garbage that I saw on H20 in the late 90s, on my very first foray into the Internet db world. Maybe I didn't check out the site well enough, but the threads I looked at were full of fighting and vitriol. It absolutely turned me off, and I never "surfed" again. I logged on to JWD only after 4 months of assurances by 3 friends that "it's a good site." Even so, I had my guard up, and zero expectations.
What were you looking for?
I was in a great deal of pain, and anger. I'd been DFd for 2 years, and recently divorced from my JW wife of 17 years. So many unresolved issues that I can't even count them. But, bottom line, I expected nothing but to be yet again disappointed.
Did you find it and if so how?
Yes, I found what I didn't expect, in flush spades!
If you were looking for information how did you look for it -
ask a question?
wander through the threads?
use the search utility?
other?
Mostly I read other current threads (not much of an archivalist), and talked to other people. Started a few threads of my own, but mostly just read what others said.
Where there other places that helped you find what you were looking for? If so where?
www.freeminds.org has been invaluable. I've gotten a lot of info (mainly CDs) from Randy, and some other stuff that really opened my eyes!
How did you feel coming here at first?
Scared stiff.
How long did you read before signing up and posting?
1 hour. I figured "damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead." My first post was on page 3/4 of a thread about "drinking at Bethel." larc, bless his heart, responded to my post within minutes; seeing a long-time poster like him aknowledge me made me just melt inside. Within the week I changed my profile info to include my name and location.
What made you feel safe enough to post that first time?
My friends' recommendations, and, my own miserable desperation.
If you came across some of the flaming on here, how did you feel and what convinced you to stay?
Flaming and board wars just rip my guts. I stay here because I want to, in whatever way I can, help others escape that damnable cult. In the meantime, Kate and I have made over 200 friends via JWD, and our post-JW life together is wonderful! We have parties at our house, or go to others' places, at least once a month.
If you have been here for a while now
How do you feel over-all about this website?
Pretty good. I've gotten lots of feedback from folks that have been on db's way longer than me, and all-in-all I think JWD is pretty darn good. Still, a "work in progress," as is life.
Do you still come here for the same reasons as you came in the beginning?
No.
How has the board changed?
Actually, I don't think the board has changed that much. There've been pendulum swings from "peace-to-war" and "conservative-to-liberal," and imo the current 'boardwar' is only one more transient in the flux.
How does this affect you?
It's gotten me down a fair bit, but "this too will change."
Have you thought of leaving? If yes then why stay? What keeps you coming back?
Yes, I've been very close to leaving 3 times in the last 6 months. I stay because of "pay-it-forward." I've been helped by the comments and friends here in so many incredible, and I mean incredible, ways; I owe it to myself to give as much of myself as I can to help others as I've been helped.
What do you see as the main goal for this board?
To help as many people as possible escape the WTS.
Lee, excellent topic! And I count it a distinct honor to know you.
Craig
jgnat

What were you looking for? I am one of those never-JW?s who visit this place. I had been dating a Jehovah?s Witness, and since joining the board I have further complicated my life by marrying the man. I guess you could call the Watchtower Society the ?other woman? in my life. I was looking for a place where I could find out more information about my rival, and a place to safely vent my frustrations.
Did you find it and if so how?
A poster on Channel-C brought up the UN scandal, and posted the link.
If you were looking for information how did you look for it?
I putter. I wander around aimlessly. When I first came here, I checked out the flaming threads in Active. I only use search when I am looking an old thread for somebody else. There have been great gems in the past, and it can be a real challenge finding them again.
Where there other places that helped you find what you were looking for? If so where?
Virtually endless and practically untraceable. Links I still use regularly or want to explore further are:
http://www.google.ca
Apologetics Index
Statistics!
JW Timeline - is this being maintained by an active Witness?
How did you feel coming here at first?
Giddy! I had a lot of things bottled up that I wanted to say. Where can somebody like me go and say what they really think without being deflected, shut down, or outright ignored? A girl like me HATES to be ignored.
How long did you read before signing up and posting?
Two seconds.
What made you feel safe enough to post that first time?
I didn?t know any better. This was my second experience in Discussion Boards ever. I tend to jump in before I know if the water is warm. What was the worst that could have happened? On the other hand, I was careful at first giving out personal information. I think it was a year before I stated my gender on my profile.
If you came across some of the flaming on here, how did you feel and what convinced you to stay?
I like debate. I had no idea what was going on with You Know at the time so I stayed out of it. I thought Flaming threads meant Extra Interesting. I started out by stalking Bleep and trying to get him to answer my questions. *sigh* My second experience with the JW Brick Wall. I lose my taste for flaming threads when they become shrill or emotional. I stay away from hot topics like politics, Simon?s running of the board, who shouldn?t have been kicked off, and abortion. If a poster I admire said something they later regretted on such a thread, I don?t know about it anyways.
How do you feel over-all about this website?
Still full of energy, information, friendships and fluff. The proportion of serious to fun shifts back and forth, but I don?t look to others to change the board for me. As a member of this board, I am ultimately responsible for it?s quality. If I want to see more serious, informative posts, I am gonna have to write them.

Do you still come here for the same reasons as you came in the beginning? No. I almost stopped posting when my initial need to be heard was met. I now stay to help as many JW?s who are sitting on the fence find a way out. Since the Watchtower mistress still shares my bed, I will continue to need JWD as a necessary outlet. And as long as new ones keep posting with interesting questions, I will be here to help .
Lady Lee

there are many fabulous responses here
good going folks
cat1759

* When you first came here what did you expect? I expected nothing. * What were you looking for? I was looking to laugh and forget about what I had been through. * Did you find it and if so how? Sometimes, other times the pain is to deep inside to be able to handle some of the experiences. * If you were looking for information how did you look for it - Wander through the threads. o ask a question? o wander through the threads? o use the search utility? o other? * Where there other places that helped you find what you were looking for? If so where? Yes, H20, * How did you feel coming here at first? Like I didn't belong but that feeling was nothing new. * How long did you read before signing up and posting? Awhile, memory fades. * What made you feel safe enough to post that first time? Just some awesome people. * If you came across some of the flaming on here, how did you feel and what convinced you to stay? When people start flaming it is time to leave. I have enough controversy in my life for everyone here, but soon that will all end. Maybe after all is done and said in May I will feel better about flaming. If you have been here for a while now * How do you feel over-all about this website? The website is good. I came looking for something tonight and didn't find it yet but found something posted that I needed more than the information I was looking for. * Do you still come here for the same reasons as you came in the beginning? No. I realize when I come here that I am opening up my mind to more pain from those that post about their experiences. That has been hard all my life and I don't deal, I just leave. * How has the board changed? I think in the conception it was fun and sassy but also so encouraging. Now there is alot of pain and also a lot of posters who have been there holding another persons hand through it all. There are posters who have no tolerance but heck I just chalk that up to their childhood. * How does this affect you? I leave when I become to miserable. When I feel like I am falling back in the black pool of hell. * Have you thought of leaving? If yes then why stay? What keeps you coming back? I don't think of leaving, I just do it. I leave for a while, I come back for some reason and will always leave again. I have ex jws friends and they will ask me to look at something on this site, sometimes I can, other times I can't. Memories keep me coming back. You see we all lost a part of ourselve when we walk away from jws. Sometimes we just want to know we are ok, that we are not alone. That there are others out here like us. What do you see as the main goal for this board? To walk people through the leaving process. To let them know they are ok and life does go on after exiting the cult. For all those people who have been here and held another's hand kudo's. This is a place to heal. My life is not an open book. The things we go through are not up there for conjecture by some twit. We all have suffered, we all go through a grieving process, we all learn to stand up straight and move forward because we have no other choice. Sometimes in life we walk towards the rainbow and other times we walk away from the rainbow. When we walk away from the rainbow we need help getting back on track. Cathy
Lady Lee
Not fair if I don't answer them too
When you first came here what did you expect? wan't sure what to expect since I was pretty new to exploration on the internet
What were you looking for? information
Did you find it and if so how? tons of info by reading the threads that were on the active topics but later started using search
If you were looking for information how did you look for it -
ask a question? not really - this is probably one of the few times I have asked questions and as you see you get them all at once
wander through the threads? yup
use the search utility? yup
other?
Were there other places that helped you find what you were looking for? If so where? freeminds, WTObserver, Beyond JWs, CAIC, ex-cult.org
How did you feel coming here at first? scared - not sure if you all would bite me
How long did you read before signing up and posting? a couple of weeks
What made you feel safe enough to post that first time? don't know that I felt safe - but tend to jump in when the right buttons are pushed - actually I think I stayed pretty nervous for a while
If you came across some of the flaming on here, how did you feel and what convinced you to stay? There were a couple of times I jumped in but mostly I don't want to be around it. The last couple of weeks have been too much for me with my health issues
If you have been here for a while now
How do you feel over-all about this website? I think it is a wonderful resource for support and to get a sense of belonging and acceptance for people who have left or are related to JWs or those who want to leave.
Do you still come here for the same reasons as you came in the beginning? no - now to offer support although I am getting better at asking for it when I need it
How has the board changed? it seems to go through cycles of change.
How does this affect you? I like the lulls between the storms. I prefer to sit in the background and wait for it to be over. When I am feeling stronger/better I will try to do things to shift the focus if possible
Have you thought of leaving? If yes then why stay? What keeps you coming back? yes - especially the last couple of weeks. It hurts to see people getting hurt. I stay to help those who need it. I will leave if the price gets too high for me
What do you see as the main goal for this board? as many have said support for those who are thinking of leaving, have left or are connected to those who are still in.
Support can include many things -
information,
a listening ear,
opportunities to socialize and learn new communication skills (the fluff threads do have a purpose)
an opportunity to learn how to think and discuss issues that were previously forbidden and
an opportunity to collectively heal and know we are not alone
DanTheMan
When you first came here what did you expect?
No expectations, I just clicked on the link from freeminds. I had never seen a discussion board like this one before.
How long did you read before signing up and posting?
about a week.
What made you feel safe enough to post that first time?
I read a lot of the posts, and realized for the first time that I wasn't crazy for having the negative feelings I had been having about JWism. It was so funny to see people slamming the org.
If you came across some of the flaming on here, how did you feel and what convinced you to stay?
I don't remember seeing a lot of flame threads back in those days, except for the You_Know threads.
How do you feel over-all about this website?
I love it, I can't imagine life without it.
Do you still come here for the same reasons as you came in the beginning?
Yes, associate with people who understand the unique and bizarre experience of being a JW.
How has the board changed?
Almost no active JW's these days. You_Know & Fredhall were still around when I first came here. That made things a little more interesting. But honestly there is no defending that religion, so I guess its to be expected that a JW coming here to defend the faith is a rare occurrence.
Have you thought of leaving? If yes then why stay? What keeps you coming back?
I've though of leaving because I thought that I needed to "move on"(TM). But I can't stay away.
Aztec
When you first came here what did you expect?
About what I've found. Mostly good people, lots of interesting stories, a few interesting debates.
What were you looking for?
The same.
Did you find it and if so how?
Yes. Opening up about myself and sharing my experience helped I think.
If you were looking for information how did you look for it -
ask a question?
wander through the threads?
use the search utility?
other?
All of the above.
Where there other places that helped you find what you were looking for? If so where?
Tim Campbell's website was invaluable to me at first. I think that's a great place to start for an exiting, or doubting dub.
How did you feel coming here at first?
Pretty cool. I wasn't new to db's or ex jw db's.
How long did you read before signing up and posting?
I didn't even read one thread before I started posting. I tend to hop into things without thinking twice.
What made you feel safe enough to post that first time?
My naivete. Isn't everyone what they say on the internet?
If you came across some of the flaming on here, how did you feel and what convinced you to stay?
I'd already seen more than one flame war so it didn't put me off at all.
If you have been here for a while now
How do you feel over-all about this website?
It's pretty good. If I didn't like it I wouldn't keep coming back.
Do you still come here for the same reasons as you came in the beginning?
Nope. Now I come here to keep up with the people I've come to care about.
How has the board changed?
I doesn't seem that differant to me but, I've only been coming here for a year.
How does this affect you?
It doesn't.
Have you thought of leaving? If yes then why stay? What keeps you coming back?
I try and leave but, I think the best thing is a slow withdrawal and not an abrupt cutoff. I'll leave sometime, probably soon. I think I need to ween myself off.
What do you see as the main goal for this board?
Information about the JW's. Support and understanding for those who need it. Good debate about most anything.
Seven

If you have been here for a while now
How do you feel over-all about this website? This is still the best over-all site for links to info and receiving support while exiting. Great friendships can be and have been made here. Diversity keeps it from getting stale.
Do you still come here for the same reasons as you came in the beginning? Not at all. It's no longer about me.
How has the board changed? It changed? When? j/k The coffee shop is still open. You just have to wait in line longer for the coffee. There's a carnival atmosphere at times if that trips your trigger too. This site can be whatever you want it to be for you personally. If you're bored then you're boring.
How does this affect you? I can't say it's affected me at all. Change is good.
Have you thought of leaving? Moving on...yes. If yes then why stay? I can't leave until Waiting learns how to bake a decent cookie. What keeps you coming back? I can't find my car keys. Actually I'm here in hopes of helping abuse survivors in the same way others have helped me.

What do you see as the main goal for this board? That it survive in one form or another for those stopping here along the journey...
Lady Lee

more please

My turn to ask some questions

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