Well... im disfellowshipped now.

by pale.emperor 35 Replies latest jw experiences

  • KateWild
    KateWild
    At one point I had 46 missed calls in a single day of different elders. I also received emails and texts imploring me to call them. I never did.- pale emperor.

    This is extreme harassment I am not surprised you relented. But it's good you didn't capitulate during the JC. I can understand you wanting to see your precious daughter daily and have a normal relationship with her. The elders know now, and they're likely not stupid enough to think you can unring the bell.

    I think if I could do it all again I would go back and be with my son and lie and smile and wave. As long as you're not trying to expose WT to the cong, or others you should be fine. This way as she gets older, you can get her to think for herself when you're alone with her, like I did with my son, and eventually you can leave together and she will never get baptised.

    I think in time my daughter will be living with me anyway. My wife finds it hard looking after her on her own - where as i find it really enjoyable. - PE

    Even better it it's permanent.

    This may work for some and not for others. Consider carefully my advice and weigh the pro's and cons carefully. You know your family better than me and you now your ability to fake it better than me.

    If you want to talk properly I am in the UK. You can call me, skype, whatsapp, or PM whatever is best for you. I messed up my whole family's life by leaving how I did, so if you can learn from my mistakes that would be great. Our situations are very similar.


  • Crazyguy
    Crazyguy

    I'm with everyone that says don't go back. Your young enough to get remarried and have a healthy relationship. Your daughter will be fine and can be braught out of cult as you continue to have a healthy relationship with her and teach her. Your life is looking up.

  • Vidiot
    Vidiot

    I've never heard of them JCing and DFing a guy after he'd already DAed himself before.

    "You can't quit! We're firing you!!!"

    Ten bucks says they were scared others might quietly ask you why you DAed, and they wanted to nip that in the bud.

    Sneaky f**kers.

  • WhatshallIcallmyself
    WhatshallIcallmyself

    I am sorry to hear about all that has happened and is still happening to you. I want to ask a question/raise a point though.

    I thought that a wife who is married to an apostate/unbeliever/whatever you wish to call yourself, had a duty under the headship arrangement to remain loyal to Jehovah by remaining loyal to you. How do they justify this separation? How can she hope to steer you back onto the "straight and narrow" by demonstrating her Christian kindness? Wasn't there a watchtower about this a little while ago? Or was it a talk...

  • Bonsai
    Bonsai

    Sorry for all the crap you've been through. From here on out it will only get better! You are only 31 and you have your whole cult free life ahead of you! You can go back to school, change your career, focus more on your hobbies, join volunteer activities to help people or the environment.

    Best of all, you can find a wonderful woman who will be a wonderful step-mom, loving you and your daughter not for what you believe but for who you are.

    Also, you can still stick it to them by doing what my former elder uncle did: walk into a KH during a meeting and noisily hand two elders (sitting towards the front so everyone can see what you are doing) your DA letter. State one or two reasons you are leaving the cult (out loud for everyone to hear) and then walk out with your chin up and dignity intact. Every person's mouth in the room will drop to the floor in curious astonishment.

  • snare&racket
    snare&racket

    The best thing you can do for that daughter, is go be a good, decent, happy, informed, successful human being outside the JW's. Such people exist everywhere in there millions and prove the JW's wrong. Your daughter seeing this will have the JW spell broken.

    Living a lie.....is no way to show your child how to live!

    Think back to what you wanted to be, wanted to do. You are free now. Go do it!

  • ToesUp
    ToesUp

    "The best thing you can do for that daughter, is go be a good, decent, happy, informed, successful human being outside the JW's. Such people exist everywhere in there millions and prove the JW's wrong. Your daughter seeing this will have the JW spell broken."

    Snare&Racket...great comment. Actions speak louder than words. Be the BEST Dad that you can be. Kids DO notice!



  • never a jw
    never a jw

    . My daughter wont be baptized into this i can promise you all that.

    I am glad to hear that. It should be goal #1

  • Wild_Thing
    Wild_Thing

    I'm sorry they are giving you so much grief. You are right. It is impossible to leave without drama, fanfare, and your reputation being ruined. I hope you stay out for your daughter's sake. I think it will be important for her to see another possible path in life besides the Watchtower.

  • Worldling9
    Worldling9

    Your congregation is full of drama queens! This can end in your favor if you get a good lawyer and keep your wits about you. The cudstody agreement can prohibit the child's mother from having her baptized before age 18. Do keep meticulous records on the behavior of your wife and in-laws, while conducting yourself with the utmost decorum. Slow and steady wins the race.

    wl9

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