I was reading the Soul Mate thread and wanted to ask: How many of you have truly loved and been in love with two people at the same time?
I have been married 30 years to a wonderful man. I do love him and he is crazy about me. He is kind, faithful, great sense of humor and great in bed.
As some of you know, I met a JW man online and we had an online affair about 3 years ago. We only were sexually online once, and stopped that, but had feelings. The relationship grew (without the sex part) and we fell deeply in love. He, however, had lied about his marital status.
Now, don't misunderstand, I KNOW he lied. We did not speak for 2 years once I found out. Then fate put us online again at the same time and place and we talked. We talked alot. I had found out alot about him and asked him lots of questions (some I already knew answers to, to see if he would lie). He has not lied since. We have been talking again for 7 months. All of what happened and why he lied was explained. Yes, it was an ugly thing to do, but there were reasons and I accept them.
I talked to him again, because I tried for 2 years to be happy without him and could not be. I need this person in my life, too. My husband knew we were talking again and accepted it. He said to tell me to not talk to him gave that person power and made him feel like it would say he was intimidated. I felt we could be close friends.
We have been talking again for 7 months. He is also still married. His marraige is not good, but he is dedicated to staying until his last child is gone, about 2 years. He feels that is the right thing to do.
About 3 weeks ago and I went and visited him while his wife was away. My husband knew and I promised not to make love to this guy. We did not have sex. However, we both knew right away that we are deeply in love and really love each other. The "in love" thing...that is seperate from love...if you know what I mean. You can have both at times but the in love comes and goes deeper and less so with anyone. I understand someone new makes you feel the in love much deeper.
However, I am crazy about him. I also do love my husband, but I think of this other man constantly. I cannot break it off. I tired that before and nothing improved after 2 years emotionally. It is like a tie we have that cannot be broken.
I don't know what I am looking for by telling you all this. I guess I just want to say that it is true there is more than one soul mate for a person. And, although I would never have believed it til it happened to me...you can truly love two men (or women) at the same time. I just wish all 3 of us could live together. LOL Like that would happen.
To make if more complicated, he is a dub. I am not and have never been...although I can very close and studied a few years ago.
He did take Crisis of Conscience from me to read and is not close minded. He says he has dedicated himself to Chirst, not a bunch of men in an organization. That makes his wife furious...she is completely dubbed up.
We talk at least weekly on the phone. Oh yeah, one of their children is being shunned, but he will not shun her. I feel he is not brainwashed yet.
I don't know what will happen. I don't know what I want to happen, short of the unlikelyness of all living together. But, be warned...falling in love and then needing both people is very real and can happen to anyone. After being married 27 years 3 years ago and being very happy I would never have expected this.
We still do not talk sexual, because why just work ourselves up? BUt it is there...big time. We try not to talk romance. But, we do hope to learn alot more about each other over the next few years to see if we also LIKE the people we are. If we do, I don't know what will happen. I am so drawn to him. I married at 17 and was so young. This is like the grown up love I missed. My God I love this man. I love my husband of 30 years, but this man....he touches my soul like no other.
Sorry this is so long. Has anyone else had this and want to share it?