im very upset (page 5)

RedhorseWoman

Shytears, I haven't visited the board in awhile, and I don't think we've "met." However, ****HUGS**** and good thoughts are on their way to you.

I'm sure that you must feel utterly devastated right now, but don't despair. The "world" is not a horrible place, and there are many nice people out there with whom you can associate. Try to look on this as an opportunity to grow, to learn, to experience all of the wonderful things that you have not been allowed to do so far.

Take some time and just relax. Consider what you would like to do with your life, and then do it. There are many great things out there for you to experience.

In any event, do NOT begin to think of yourself as horrible or "sinful." The JW modus operandi is to strip a person of any dignity and try to make them feel isolated and alone. Don't allow them to do this to you.

One thing that will probably be helpful for you is to continue to post here.....talk about your feelings....don't bottle them up....and let others help you through this.

joannadandy

(((Shytears)))

I was wondering what you were up to recently--I haven't seen you around here lately.

I know right now it probably feels like the end of the world, but it's really just the begining. You've got your whole life ahead of you and you can do whatever you want when you turn 18.

I agree with some other posters here, college is a good idea. I'm sure you could get some financal aid, and there are always loans.

Please keep us posted and let us know if we can help in any way at all.

Robdar

(((((Shytears))))))

Some of the best people that I know have been disfellowshipped. You are in good company, sweet one.

I know that it is hard to deal with right now but I want to encourage you to remain strong. You have a right to be who you are, think what you want to think and do what you want to do. Well, you will when you reach 18 and that will be soon.

Hold your head high and do not give in to their coercion.

Our thoughts and well wishes are with you.

Love,

Robyn

Sassy

Shytears, I'm sorry you are going through this. Try to be here a little more often if you can to get some support from the friends here..

Double Edge

Shytears...

First off, I REALLY like your avatar... it's very funny. Secondly, listen to a lot of what people here are saying... they've been down your road, and they've cleared away most of the 'mystery' to let you know that DFing isn't the end of the world... not even close - in fact, you'll come to see that it really is a blessing in disguise. You've been given a GIFT. As far as DFing, heck, the religious leaders of Jesus's day were always trying to DF him and the people who listened to him. It's hard to handle now, because you are young, but you'll find out that the older you get, things like this can be reasoned out and not have the emotional impact it does now... everything at your age is magnified to be more than it is. Stay with us, ask questions, get support and keep moving on down the road of life on your journey. You're lucky.... your road is just beginning, you have everything ahead of you.

freelife

((((((((Shy))))))) It may be hard for you now but, just remember that you will have friends here who know what you are going through. The other df'ed ones on this site are sometimes the only family that each of us have in some cases. Keep in touch with the family here on the site and we will try to help you through the tough times ahead.

Some advice that i have to give is be true to yourself don't push yourself into doing things that you are not ready to do yet. Think about things very carefully before you do them. Still though don't be afraid to experience life.When you open up your eyes to the real world will see the real TRUTH in life.

Best wishes to you

Freelife

jgnat

Shytears, I vote your avatar to be the kewlest today. Tough what you are going through. Are your parents being very supportive? I know it must feel very closed-in right now, but believe me, adulthood and all the freedom (use responsibly!) will feel sooooo good compared to this.

Almost eighteen.... almost eighteen....

ESTEE

(((((shytears)))))

Sorry to hear you are feeling emotional pain. I, too am disfellowshipped. Have been since 1999 ... two weeks after my mom died the elders decided it would be the right time for it. They are indeed merciful and compassionate ...NOT!!!

One thing ... you are no longer under their thumb ... no longer under their control. You are free of them now!!! Don't have to live by their impossible rules anymore.

The shunning is the hardest part. Not by the members, but by family. My two kids shun me ... that hurts a lot. When I think about that I miss them.

I moved away from the prying eyes of the elders and their wives ... Saskatoon was too small to be anonymous...so I found the move to Vancouver was helpful and healthy. Got a new job, made a new life for myself. Found a new dance partner and am feeling happier than I ever was as a dub!

You are loved and supported here, shytears!!

Vent as much as you want. We will help you through the bad stuff. It does get better ... a whole lot better!!!

(((((Hugs)))))

ESTEE

asleif_dufansdottir

Hey, Sweetie...I vote for making today the first day of your life in which you do what you want...not what some group of religious fanatics wants!! And every day from now on!

Are you still in high school? Can you go talk to a guidance counselor about what you're going through now? Perhaps you can get some support there. Be prepared for them to be horrified at how you're being treated by your "church", if he or she doesn't know anything about the JWs.

Also, that's a great way to get some info on how to pay for college, as well.

Get even with them - go out and have a great life and don't give them the satisfaction of 'crashing and burning out in the "world" ' like most JWs expect us to.

im very upset

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