SaintSatan, I have to agree that it affects artists more because they are more sensitive and creative. I'm an artist and was more productive as one when I was a JW. I didn't care what they said to me, if I wanted to draw or paint then I would. I don't get told what I can and can't do in my house. I got into drawing women either just their faces or their whole bodies...from life. One was nude the others were not but were scantily dressed. One of the elders wanted to see some of my work so I proudly showed him. He just about spit out his drink when he got to the drawings of the women but he didn't say anything to me about it. I was waiting for it too. But yes, they like to stiffle creativity as much as possible. Most of the elders are some of the most boring people I have ever seen. I had one elder invite me to his house for an evening with his family. I thought that would be cool until I got there and they wanted to play dominos. And they were having the thrilling time playing it and I was just thinking, 'You guys need to get out of the house more.'
*sigh* I think I'm staying in the borg
by SC_Guy 55 Replies latest jw friends
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amac
Hey! There's nothing wrong with dominos!!!
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kj
I'm so sorry for what you're going through. One thing you have going for you is that you are young. Life outside the JWs will be hard for you, but you CAN do it. Start considering your resouces, ANYONE on the outside who might be willing to help you. Maybe talk to some of your relatives who are out, see if they can help you. I know you want to stay for your family, but you will only end up hurting yourself. And if you leave, you might get them thinking. I will keep you in my prayers.
kj
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Teela
I really feel for you and hope this board can help you. Can I suggest you open another bank account without your parents co signing to enable you some finanical independence. This will in time with savings give you more options eg: to move out on your own . Your parents by having your twin still living at home at 23 gives then not only control over her but indirectly over you because of your relaionship with her. Whatever you decide to do I feel you will not be happy. But I can tell you that living a lie will eat you up inside destroying your creativity and making you hate yourself. Whether you make the move from the JW;s now or in the future you will still loose your family. By staying in, it may be a choice of you or them. By staying in longer you are drawing out the pain, unless you believe that you may be able to change your twin's mind about the JW's and take her with you. I wish you the best in whatever you decide, please look after yourself.
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Azalo
TELL YOUR FAMILY! Listen, your family doesn't know you feel this way, they are being so overprotective to try to avoid exactly this. If you sit them down and explain to them that you do not want to be a JW, do not plan on ever being baptized and nothing they say or do will make you change your mind, what can they really say or do? You have to be calm about it. I would reccommend you tell your whole family at the same time. Make sure you plan it out so you can articulate it intelligently and dont come off like an illogical rebellious teen and no matter how heated they get just stay calm. Things can only get better once it is out there, at least you will not have the burden of your "horrible" secret. The elders or cong need not get involved since you are not baptized. Your parents might want you to talk with the elders, if they do fine, go along with it and just express the same reasons to the elders as you did to your parents.
How do you know that your sisters do not feel the same way as you? Maybe your sister seemed so intutive because she recognizes the same thing in you that she herself feels. Maybe your courage will give them the strength to do what they have wanted to do but were too afraid, just like you. Maybe they will all shun, of course that is possible. Let me tell you, I come from a very strict family myself and I thought that they would shun me and I am baptized but its been over 8 years and I have a great relationship with everyone in my family but 1 sister who still talks to me but kinda shuns me but not really. (she's weird)
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Valis
"I don't know how I could live without my twin in the new system"
This is commonly referred to as emotional blackmail, even if she doesn't know she's doing it. Its kind of like training an animal to respond to words, commands, etc....even mentioning you didn't want to go to the convention triggered a response that was sure to set you off in return. If you know you don't believe JWs are what you want to be involved with then don't let yourself be emotionally toyed with. They depend on this to keep you coming back. Best of luck whatever you do and be good to yourself. Oh and welcome to the forum.
Sincerely,
District Overbeer
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seven006
SC,
It takes time.
One thing you might want to consider is possibly taking your family out with you. Read this board. Find things that you can offer up as a question to your sister, not in a manner to show your doubt but instead in a way to ask her opinion and advice. Have her check things out in a way that she would see as helping you. Focus on christanity as a whole and not just the JW religion.
You could check out threads like the latest one about the flood. You can approach things with her that brings doubts about the bible and Christianity itself as opposed to making it look like you are questioning watchtower doctrine. Once a little history about Christianity being influenced by older pagan religious myth is established and you can begin to create doubt about all if it. Then the JW's take on the bible and Christianity is very easy to have her develop doubts about.
Take care and good luck,
Dave
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Doubtfully Yours
SC_Guy,
I have a balancing act going on for some time now, and I tell you it's very frustrating at times. I get harassed constantly by my husband, and questioned often by my parents as to why am I not a ball of fire in the 'truth'. They are the only ones I really care about and I'd lose them for sure if I left the Organization, so I do the best I can keeping my sanity.
Dual loyalties is the pits!!!!!!
DY
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95stormfront
If you sit them down and explain to them that you do not want to be a JW, do not plan on ever being baptized and nothing they say or do will make you change your mind, what can they really say or do?
Well....after making sure he's never held down a job, acting as co-signatories on his bank account to control access to his money, and otherwise stifling any activity other than those that will not interfere with "meeting night" there's a lot that they can, and most likely will do.
Picture this for a 17 year old, having your every waking moment controlled and questioned, long drawn out marathon talks and discussions with elders trying to "fix" your spiritual condition, forced studies because obviously you're troubled and only information from WT publications can fix you, to eventually being kicked to the curb when you don't just shut down your conscious and comply.
What can they do?
Ask the board whatever happened to one of the kid posters, breakingbenjamin.
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waiting
Hello again, SC,
Does *SC* stand for where you live? If so, I live in South Carolina (near Columbia) - I also have grown (no longer in WTBTS) in SC also.
YOU AREN'T BAPTISED............KEEP IT THAT WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That IS your way around all this for some time!!!!!!! Your family doesn't have to shun you if you never get baptized - and EVERY JW knows this! If your family does shun you & your not baptized...they're biblically wrong & you can prove it. They can't prove their actions by the bible. If they still insist on shunning.....other dynamics at work in your family - best figure them out, sweetie.
My DA'ed Grandmother I have never met her up untill 3 years ago... just recently I took a visit to go see her and she was such a comfort to me. She told me life is just too short to treat people like garbage or to be wasting your time with people who treat you as such. My aunts, some of them never got dunked and they just left... my family shuns them as well... -sc
Good Lord, boy.....re-read what you wrote.
"She told me life is just too short to treat people like garbage or to be wasting your time with people who treat you as such."
Your grandmother is right. Ask her.....if she had it all to do over - would she give up her freedom of choice in life so that your father's branch of the family wouldn't shun them?
You have sooooooooo many years of life in you - just sit back & wait some. DON'T GET BAPTIZED!
Honestly! That IS your ticket to having your family (even if it's not close) in the future!
waiting